I hope you don’t mind my waffling on with a rather tenuous link to running and my apologies if its not really appropriate for this site.
Sadly, yesterday was the 9th funeral I have attended in the last 6 years. I have been told that it is not unusual when family and family friends are of a similar age but that does not make it any easier.
During most of those, the Vicar or Eulogist would describe the deceased and I would wonder if I was at the correct funeral as it did not sound like the person I knew. They were very depressing events.
I was expecting similar yesterday. The crematorium was packed but during the service there was a queue of people wanting to stand up and recite their various anecdotes involving Victor. I have never heard of a funeral before where the mourners were almost crying with laughter. Every story summed him up precisely. Victor was an ordinary guy but had a great sense of humour. He watched football, played darts, went down the pub, but all while wearing women’s clothes. None of his mates (my Dad having been one of them) took the blind bit of notice. A lot of the stories related to incidents involving people who met him for the first time. One that has stuck in my mind was when a young guy was trying to figure out what he had on under his dress When Victor realised what he was doing, he turned to the guy and said, “You pervert, I am not wearing women’s underwear, that would be just weird!!”. Victor was a very funny guy and always had a smart reply for any occasion.
What I did not know about Victor was that in his young days he was an athlete and ran 200, 400 and 800 meters in international competitions and was shortlisted for the Olympic team. I have known Victor all my life and never knew that. When he had seen me limping about with my sprained ankle and asked about it, I had told him about me hoping to complete the C25K but he never once mentioned that he used to run himself. I would have loved to have heard his stories.
RIP Victor (and "Irene at weekends" as you used to say), you brought a smile to a lot of faces and you had a funeral that nobody would ever want to forget (or ever could).
Written by
Lizzie_NewStart
Graduate
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I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful opportunity to remember and pay your respects to your friend. I always find the best funerals are those where family & friends read the eulogy, but that can be very difficult of course.
🍏 Sorry to hear about these losses Lizzie. Grief takes it toll but one of the things that does help us are Memories. What a lovely surprise for you to hear that Victor was an Olympic Team shortlisted runner!
One of the things I like to do is to run in memory of my loved one. This would be especially appropriate for Victor!
Well done Victor... Gosh.. what a runner!!! He would have had some takes to tell you to be certain! he was a real character and if he made the Olympic team, would not that have been something!
Funerals can be so different and I have been to sad occasions and also, many ones where there has been, bright clothes, laughter and even applause. Celebrating the joy in someone's life and remembering the happiness and the love. Just great !
As Annieapple says... a run with Victor now, could be just the thing? Well done you. x
I think when I run from now on I will definitely think of Victor. Having never seen him run, I think the memory will be of him and my Dad sitting at the dining table with a can in their hands putting the world to rights. I miss my Dad so much too.
Brilliant! I myself have chosen not to have a funeral, but rather an almighty party with dancing (I jive), drinking (even though I don't), and lots of people just sharing anecdotes and memories about the slightly quirky woman that I am, and, like Victor, am proud to be.
Rest well Victor, I hope the other side of the veil holds a wardrobe full of clothes for you which magically changes every day so you never wear the same outfit twice 🤲🙏🤲
For you Lizzie, I am so very sorry for the loss of your clearly lovely and special friend. Perhaps use the experience to refocus and dedicate your C25K journey to his memory and visualise him running with you - plus or minus fancy leggings 😁
Sounds like Victor was a character. I'm glad he got the send-off that reflected that.
I used to dread attending funerals. They usually end up being a celebration, as they should, of a life and a chance to see all those cousins, (Irish funerals), that you only ever see at these events.
It baffles me how the 'Celebrant' can stand and talk about *William, or whoever as if they knew them. Just recounting things they have been told. Why can't they say that?
We all know that *Billy was not a regular at the church. (*Names for demonstration purposes). I do know a Kevin who has been Charlie all his life. We'll see who gets buried that day.
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A fright and a giggle
Take the long term view.
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I did it with 5x50 T-shirt and a bottle of champagne at the finish line :)
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