“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway” (Emory Austin)
Hello everyone,
I can’t believe that we have come to the end of another busy week, where does the time fly! I hope you have had a good one, and not been too weighed down by the worries and concerns you have caring for your loved ones. If it has been a tough week we care about you, we understand and are ready to listen.
I love the quote above, being a singer in a choir. Singing I have found is very therapeutic, and gives me a thrill when I’m happy, and lifts me up on the dark days. Sometimes there won’t be a song in hearts because we can’t see what there is to sing about, weighed down by the burdens and cares that seem too heavy to carry. But learning to sing anyway, despite how we are feeling, despite how dire the situation looks right now, can help you tap into an inner resource and strength you didn’t know you had. As Tia Walker (2013) says in her book, “Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” Singing helps you find your voice, it is empowering, healing, and restorative. It doesn’t matter if you think you can’t sing, everyone can sing, and in the privacy of our own homes, who cares what we sound like? As many of you know research has shown that singing, music, and dance can tap into the deep recesses of the memories in people with dementia, and can often release them if only for a moment, to experience a freedom and joy. So maybe put on some old-time music your loved ones enjoyed, and get them humming along, tapping their feet or clapping their hands in rhythm, and share a special moment of fun and laughter together.
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My voice is less that of a nightingale and more of a crow, but I love singing anyway and think today's quotation is inspirational because it's amazing how much better life can be with a cheerful attitude, however hard it can sometimes be to stay in that mode!
This week (on Tuesday evening), there was definitely no song in my heart. It was time to go back to my Scottish Country Dance class. We'd had a break all summer and for some reason it always feels more like a trip to the dentist to us all on that first evening as we struggle to get back into a routine. So a very reluctant and glum bunch of people passed through the door of the church hall, ghillies (our shoes), in hand.
But once into the hall it was lovely seeing all those friends I'd missed during the summer and suddenly we were back in full swing, hearing the cheerful Scottish music, remembering the moves in our favourite dances, making our usual mistakes turning right instead of left, tripping over our own (and others' feet), joking and laughing and enjoying someone's birthday cake with a cup of tea at half time.
Life can't be all rainbows, but if we can find a few small things to smile about and manage at least a few bars of a song in our hearts, we are all the better for it!
Agree so much about the benefits of music and dance to those with dementia. Although mom now coming to the end of her time with us, I have such wonderful memories of our singing together and dancing around her lounge pretending we were in The King and I. Later when she wasn't able to stand, I would sit her on her chair and hold her in a dance pose, take the brakes off and move across the floor with her, usually to a bit of Glen Miller, and feel such joy at her giggles. We would also sing the old songs from the 40's and those I was taught as a little girl and she remembered ALL the words. More recently we leave music on for her and I still sing (very badly) to her, but now there's no response. Mom and I had a complicated relationship until dementia finally claimed her and changed her into a totally different person, and I feel I was given a special gift, knowing that when I finally lose her I will genuinely grieve her passing rather than holding bitterness in my heart for past actions. Music and dance has played such a big part in our journey with dementia, and I think it is such an important part of still being able to communicate with our loved ones, and hold onto them for just a while longer. Mom is coming to the time for her last dance, and I pray it is a slow waltz rather than a passadoble! My lasting memory will be last Christmas when we sat in front of the TV after I had fed her Christmas lunch, and the Queen came on. Mom hadn't spoken all day but suddenly sat up and gave me a wonderful rendition of God Save the Queen. Wonderful memories!
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As many of you know research has shown that singing, music, and dance can tap into the deep recesses of the memories in people with dementia, and can often release them if only for a moment, to experience a freedom and joy. So maybe put on some old-time music your loved ones enjoyed, and get them humming along, tapping their feet or clapping their hands in rhythm, and share a special moment of fun and laughter together. 
Free for All on Friday