My question is, does anyone else get beyond exhaustion sometimes? I have got PMR, severe curvature of the spine and osteoporosis.
I had to go to my Daughters in Laws Christmas day for lunch which lasted forever on horrendous chairs, then yesterday had my Husbands friend and children, and also Grandaughter, Daughter and Son in Law.
Today it is the Daughters in Laws again, Grandaugter,Daughter and Son in Law all at my house.
I feel totally wiped out and miserable for not enjoying it, but it really is too much. How do you all cope with it.
Jenny x
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My reply to you is that there are another 50 weeks or so in the year to entertain and visit family and friends. Why cram it all into a couple of days and wear oneself out ! This has only dawned on me in the last couple of years or so!
The only way is to either take painkillers or leave when you become too uncomfortable. I too have been in the same situation. Shuffling around in your seat trying to get comfy when all you really want is to go home to your own sofa and bed. Our families don't realise that we are in pain because we look ok
I now shamelessly ask family around, and get each person to bring one part of a meal. Heated up roast potatoes and parsnips taste even better. What bliss to get someone to make fiddly canapes, puddings are fine - and if I go out I make sure I get someone to carry suitable cushions. The trouble with us is we hate to ask for help, but if friends and family are nice, they really like to help. Good luck.
You have my sympathy. Since marrying 47 yrs ago, I’ve been the one providing all the Christmas meals. It’s exhausting! Last year my elderly Aunt came to stay for 2 weeks over Christmas. Afterwards my Hubby said, if you arrange this again, don’t expect me to be here, I will go on holiday and leave you to it!
You have had good suggestions from other members, as a last resort learn how to say No.
I really feel for you! I have fibromyalgia, so I’ve had to learn to pace myself, the “spoon theory” is a good way to explain how you feel to others how you feel and why you need them to pitch in and help. There’s a good info graphic here that you can show them:
I take cushions, blanket, yoga block for my feet and if I stay over, a mattress topper as well. My late mother-in-law used to take her own dining room chair!
Don’t be afraid to say “no” or start seeing people in November, so you don’t have to do it all at once.
At the very least make them help you and take yourself upstairs for a quiet hour on the bed, to rest and re-group.
After hyping myself up to make Christmas Dinner for my children, spouses and grandchildren , 14 in total this year on Boxing Day, I invariably snapped, offended some and ended up in tears in recent years. My daughters took things in hand and organised jobs for all. It doesn't always quite work out the way you hope but it helps. I discovered metitating a few years ago when I had a bad spell of utter exhaustion, after collating a local history book. On a very busy day I take 10-20 minutes, lying down, doing a meditation session on Headspace and get up with renewed energy to face the rest of the day. There is a few months of a learning curve before you become at ease with it. Happy days this year, I gratefully accepted my daughter's invitation to Christmas Day Dinner. If my husband had got the 1st offer he'd have said No! A total home bird and old fashioned man who doesn't help much in the kitchen
I take a good quality "wedge" and a cushion wherever I go; helps with awful chairs. Family now know I have to be given the smallest chair in the house!
I have PMR too and there is no way I could have done all this. I’m not surprised you were wiped out. I spent Christmas exhausted, furious with everyone for not seeing it or helping me(However I didn’t tell anyone exactly how I felt!) . Subsequently I upset and argued with most of the family, between crying and total despair! Not much Peace and Joy here I’m afraid, so I do understand. I’ve said that if I’m the same next yr, things will have to change. (Changing the locks springs to mind!)
Thank you Ladies for your replies. I am jus t glad Christmas is over and will try to be a bit firmer nex t year instead of being pushed into everything.
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