October 27 will be a year since HCC robbed me of my soulmate, my husband, the love of my life, and my best friend. It's been a hard 11 months with many ups and downs. The "ups" have been the love and support of my family and friends, a new grandson's birth (although it has also has a "down" because Jimmy will never get to be part of his life except through pictures and stories), taking part in several projects to help raise awareness about HCC, speaking at a few Hospice events to tell our story and encourage others, and reliving that last precious year in photos and memories that we'd posted on social media.
The "downs" are missing Jimmy like hell every minute of every day. The sadness that of six grandchildren only the two oldest boys will have any real memories of their Papa Jimmy. The other four will just know his name, see his pictures and hear our stories because they were too little or not yet born. I've discovered that often even a happy time now is bittersweet such as watching the great nephew and great niece play sports at school. As much as I enjoy it, it still hurts that he's not here to share the enjoyment and feel the pride in their accomplishments. Even when I walk through the archway gate that Jimmy put there and smell the roses it reminds me how much he would have loved smelling them.
Four things have helped me survive these 11 months :
1. The knowledge that Jimmy would be so disappointed in me if I just gave up.
2. Getting involved in Grief Share and some other widow's support groups as well as the bereavement counseling provided by Hospice.
3. Keeping my promise to Jimmy by staying involved in HCC Advocacy, telling our story and doing my best to make a difference.
4. Keeping his memory alive because he deserves to be remembered and I want the grandchildren and the young family members to have stories of Jimmy and his wonderful loving heart, faith in God, and his strength to pass down.
All these are ways that I honor the man that I was SO Blessed to love and have him love me.
Never forget WHY we're fighting so hard to raise awareness, make changes and find a cure for HCC.
Sharon ❤️
