I wa diagnosed with COPD about 2 years ago - though I had had warnings for years. A dr. once said to me that there are some who can get away with smoking and some who cant. You are one who cant......
Im 58 going on 18 (cor wish I had the energy I had then lol) I used to work for the department of work and pensions in the contact centre taking benefit claims from jsa, esa, and income support claimants. Good pay but was chained to desk all day with a headset on. It was a terrible job. Lasted 5 and a half years and got sacked for being off sick with depression and stress. Was working off my warnings with a few months to go (was only allowed 6 days a year off sick!) when got severe chest infection - you know the steriods and strong antibiotics etc. had to have couple of days off then it came back so had to have more time off - so the big heave ho it was. Many staff left at that stage but I refused. Told them if they wanted me out they would have to sack me! so they did lol
Cant get job now coz of sacking so been unemployed for past 2 and a half years. Cant retire at 60 anymore - will have to wait til 65 and 3 months - OMG!
I live on my own so quite bored and lonely some of the time. But I dog walk my sisters dog every day and visit my mother in her home 3/4 days a week. I go out pubbing (of course) and playing darts 3/4 nights a week. Usually get drunk on sundays with an ex who pays for my drinks lol.
Got no kids just 3 sisters. The oldest is a recluse and agrophobic who is very unsociable. The youngest one likes the middle class lifestyle - big house posh neighbourhood etc. She feels very put upon and I find her snobbish and self pitying. We do get on after a fashion.
The middle one who we trusted to look after our mums money stole the lot. By the time we found out mum was in debt. (we havent told her - she would drop dead on the spot with shame if we did). My youngest sister and me did a lot of car boot sales and ebay to raise money for her. I dont really want anythin to do with the thief any more. I dont socialise with her at all.
So there it is - what a life hey?? still I wake up every morning and think I did it I beat the bogie man...and made it to another day and that cant be bad lol.
Just joined a gym - going with a mate.
I will shut up now (thank god i hear the cry).
One last thing I do know my way around the benefits system a bit so if anyone needs help with this i will do my best.
Blimey Bev - sounds like you got the lot ! lol xxx
I'm from a big family ( this lil ole sex kitten is the oldest of 6 ) too and they always seem to give us grief - i moved 150 miles from my family and suddenly realised i was a person in my own right - was a bit of a revelation for me!!!
Thanks for the offer of help - i am sure that some of us will take you up on that .
K
in reply to
Thanks krazylady no brothers though! always wanted one. I moved away from my family at 18 and went to London. Had hard time but learnt lot of valuable lessons! I can really relate to realising you are person in own right. I learnt that too. I moved back to be with family about 16 years ago. My family never moved away and now they dont understand me at all - ha ha. They keep treating me as person I was when I moved away ie still part of dysfunctional family etc. I think it funny. xx
in reply to
Hi Krazylady1961 just read your reply to our pm -omg what a time you have had. I really admire your spirit to cope with so much and come out intact. That explaines why you are so caring, warm and supportive. Those experiences either make or break you. You have come out stronger. Fantastic well done love. xxx
Thank you stitch - im flattered! xx
trust me, brothers are trouble - always had to fight my brothers battles - got a reputation for beating up the boys at school so i couldn't get a boyfriend ( unless they hadn't heard of me !!!!)
i know what you mean - when i visit ( not very often tho) i feel like a stranger - the town i was born in has changed so much i don't recognise it anymore,
Hi Krazylady, I found your blog really great reading, I have a family not too different to yours, (im the odd one out always have been). My elder brother only came to see my mum when he wanted money, too late I would say your younger brother and that thing he calls his wife have already had it all ( unknown to mum)
When mum died I had the task of dealing with all the debt my brother and his thing had left my mum in (they lived with her after my dad died) which I can say with me not long being married and having 3 young kids caused me a great deal of stress. I managed to do that, dont know how but I did. Even though both mum and dad where dead I wasnt having there name dragged down.
Its true what they say you can pick your friends but not your family, Now that I am ill theres only my husband who by the way is disabled, my daughter and some great friends that keep me going and of course the people on here. Anyway enough hope everyone is as well as can be Julia x
What a time you have had. I think I am so lucky with my family.
One word of caution though - the benefits system has changed almost beyond recognition in the last two and a half years, so although well meant, your knowledge is possibly out of date now.
yeah good point lnne. I do try to keep up with the changes but its always changing. The minor points do but the basic benefits dont really change that much. I do know my way round the system though ie who to contact and which department does what etc. So that might be useful to some. Thanks xx
What a great story to wake up to really enjoyed that.
I only have one brother who I got on great with until he got married then only saw or spoke to him on rare occassions for 20+ years. Then his wife died and I just had to phone him, we met and became good friends again.
He was invited to Australia for a holiday by his wifes best friend and he went again and again, then he dropped the bombshell 6 years ago he was getting married and moving to Australia.
We keep in touch and he has been back once, I fear I will not see him again and regret those wasted years, but am glad to have him back in my life.
As an only child, I'm fascinated by the families of others. My late husband was one of five and my present partner is one of four. I used to dream of having brothers and sisters and would have welcomed them, especially when my mother and father passed away. As I've grown older though, I have seen the strife that can be involved in bigger families and now have no regrets about being an 'orphan'. Occasionaly though, I would love to have someone to confide in, especially when I'm feeling depressed and lonely.
ah elian it can be a bit of a myth that you can confide in family. I never have confided in mine and never will - we all too different. I confide in friends and on here and thats it. One of the few times it mattered was when my dad died and we all arranged the funeral together and shared our memories. And the problems with the thief at least I had another sister to sort that out with. Apart from that a dead loss!
Wow Bev! Interesting reading. I have one adopted sister and we get along just fine. I have 3 "grown up" kids! and one nearly 8 week old grandson. I have a mother-in-law with early signs of Alzheimers and a hubby, Pete, with copd and sarcoidosis but your family, well, what can I say! So good to read your blog and hope you can continue with your drunken Sundays and the gym. Stay well and as happy as you can be. sassy59xxxx
Hi KingoftheCocktails I long ago found friends to confide in and talk to...lived away from home from young age and realised how dysfunctional my family really is. I would have remained dysfunctional too if I hadnt branched out on my own. Praise the lord that I did! omg! think I got trojan in my computer. x
Thank you for all your comments I was surprised there were so many. Would love to hear others life story - any volunteers........? x
Oh dear Bev, i would love to tell you my life story but you would not believe it !!! no one ever does - i have had a far from easy life but was once told by a medium i was put here to teach others - every time something happened to me it would be a lesson i could pass on to others - funny thing is it has turned out to be true - i will start talking to a complete stranger somewhere who will tell me a problem they have and i would always say "when that happened to me......" its really strange but over the years my experiences have helped so many people, even weirder if i ever bump into them again they thank me for the help and the majority of the time i stand there, probably looking vacant, because i can't remember them.
and then my partner asks who they where and i say "the face is familiar but i aint got a clue !!!!! "
in reply to
lol krazylady that is so true that the more experiences you have in life the more you have to share with others. I had a classic one last year. I used to be very short sighted until I had laser correction surgery 6 years ago. Now I dont need glasses except for reading (age!). Got chatting to stranger who had had it done recently and was worried. I shared my experience with her and she was much relieved! Told her I had panicked too a few weeks after etc. I was lucky and there was a guy at work who had had it done 6 months before me. He reassured me and I passed it on! Its brill when that works out isnt it? keep sharing love its great. xx
Have you thought of joining PCS there's a big TUC demo coming up in October and I'm
sure they could use you. Look on their website for info about what they're campaigning around.
I was retired on ill health in 1987. Did a part time degree and am a political activist. Can't rely on family much. Problem now is I have a foot disability and can't walk much. But there's always something that needs doing. Met my partner through political activitity but he doesn't live here and is busy.
Hope this helps
Really Good read Bev...Least you can still smile and have a sense of humour despite the problems you have had..Thanks for sharing with us..x
in reply to
Thank you for your comment scottyboy. Often in life its only having a sense of humour that gets you through isnt it? Long live the sense of humour. xx
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