I never realised how many friends Carole had made on this Forum until I was sent a link to all the tributes many of you (90+) had posted here. Thank you so much for all the kind words and for any donations made to SENSE in her memory.
I realise that it is impossible for any of you to attend her funeral, which will be held on Friday 22nd at 1:45, but please hold her in your thoughts at that time.
As you cannot be there I thought that some of you might like to read my words for her service tomorrow. You might learn a few things about her that you didn't know.....
On 18th June 1953, unbeknown to me, my future wife was born.
But our story would only really begin when she finished school and told her parents that she was going to become a nurse. They were not impressed ..... didn’t really think she was up to it.
But this was Carole and she went on to qualify three years later. Within another two years she had become a staff nurse and now wore the navy blue uniform that she wanted so much. She was later to qualify as a district nurse and became team leader for the district nurse team working out of a practice in Nelson.
And that was the road taken which would eventually bring her to me.
One of her first roles however was as ward sister at Victoria Hospital, a very large Victorian stone built building in Burnley that many here will remember. Carole recalled that she was the sole person on duty throughout the night and all the seemingly inexplicable noises and subdued lighting made for a very creepy experience, with Carole pretty sure she was not alone.
She later spent time in the emergency department which she told me she enjoyed much more.
Her career had one more twist when she was persuaded that applying for an additional role of Practical Work Teacher would be in her best interest. She told me that at the interview she was asked the predictable question “why do you want this job”. Her reply was: “I don’t really”.
She was subsequently informed that her application had been successful.
And so she began to take student nurses under her wing and teach them the hands on side of being a district nurse.
Meanwhile my father, now living on his own following the loss of my mother, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As his health rapidly deteriorated I persuaded him to come and live with me so I could take better care of him.
You have probably worked out by now how I met Carole. She was of course assigned to be his district nurse. She shared a similar sense of humour to my Dad with lots of banter going both ways.
Carole was easy to like and we seemed to get on very well.
When my father was later transferred to Ardenlea Hospice, where he would soon pass away, Carole rang me to ask if she could come round and collect all her notes and equipment.
This was going to be her last visit...... It was now or never.
I had been attracted to her from the start and had already noticed that there was no wedding ring on her finger. I wanted to ask her out but it didn’t seem appropriate when she was caring for my dad and anyway, I didn’t have the courage.
But.... it was now or never.
So I asked her ..... And she said yes.
I was later to find out that before coming to my house to collect her things she had gone home to change into a new uniform and to make sure she looked her best. I had no idea but all the while she was hoping I would eventually ask her out.
She later told me she couldn’t stop smiling all the way home.
That was to be the start of what would become 37 happy years together...........
Much later, partly due to health problems but in no small part due to the evolution of her role away from hands-on care to an increasingly paper based office job, Carole became disillusioned with her work and after almost 25 years as a nurse decided it was time to move on.
But she didn’t entirely leave the role that she was best at.
With my administrative background and Carole’s Nursing skills to back us up, we proceeded to buy a small 18 bed Registered Care Home in Garstang which we would own and manage together. When we took over, it was a pretty average care home. With Carole’s hard work, dedication and very high standards, the home was transformed to later be rated as ‘excellent’ By the CQC inspectors. Also, during that time, we were regularly assessed by an independent national star rating company for care homes. From an initial 3 stars, we progressed to 4 star and then the ultimate and very rare 5 star rating. Carole also qualified as an NVQ assessor to help with staff training and later achieved the Investors in People award.
Did someone once think she wasn’t up to it?
Our eventual retirement did not quite work out the way we planned and her COP diagnosis was soon to turn our world upside down and end her love of gardening. Our life eventually became tied to home and contact with the outside world would be mainly through personal carers and nurses and a few family members. She did however meet many friends on line on a health forum she had come across and also received lots of photos and videos of her new great niece from Australia. Carole was immediately smitten with Evie, watching the videos of her antics over and over again. She was over the moon when she finally met her during a recent visit to England. Her health was now deteriorating rapidly and she never expected to actually meet Evie in real life.
Her suffering is now over but I cannot even begin to explain how much I will miss her.
_____________________________________
I can understand the suffering that most of you have to endure from this terrible disease but still you found time to be a friend to Carole. You became a bigger part of her life than you probably realise.
Thank you all
Geoff
Written by
CDPO16
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Really heartfelt. I liked Carol, right from the start of me on this forum, her posts always friendly, and like other, one of the reasons I stayed on here,
Reading your post Carol, I would be at a loss without Anne - She is like a rock. xx
Bless you Ern, your dear Anne looks after you and she’s a marvel. I applaud all carers and feel for those they care for. Life is hard at times but I’m so glad Pete and I have each other.
Sadly so many nurses - like my mum ! learnt to smoke while doing nursing training . Reading that Carole ran a small care home, I have to say I wish there were more . Huge industry now and all about money . I’m sure all those Carole cared for got the best and kindest care.
Many years ago when i was 20 I worked in a nursing home where a trained nurse called Mrs Verma owned it and ran it and there was another nurse called Corrinne who lived in the local area.
With me I lived in East Cardiff and travelling from East to west is a real trek and a 20 mile round trip!
Dear Geoff, Thank you so much for sharing your words for tomorrow with us, really appreciated and lovely to hear her life story. Now why am I not surprised that Carole was in caring professions? Your wife has always been well thought of, loved, respected and cared for here. Without fail she has always been kind & welcoming to new members, supportive and unstinting with her kindness to the rest of us.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, but please know that we won't forget dear Carole, she is very much missed already - although we'll always be able to look back at her posts, replies and our private messages.
Very best wishes, Penelope
PS I've always loved the photos of the garden Carole shared with us
I will be thinking of Carole today ,Geoff. She was a much loved lady on this site. Now I understand how knowledgeable she was with her nursing background. Thank you for sharing your epitaph for Carole. She will be sadly missed on the forum.
RIP beautiful Carole. Its been a pleasure knowing you. xx.Sheila 💔😘
Carole sounded like a wonderful caring person and what a lovely story of her life you have written. I hope her service goes well and and thank you for spending your time to give us all this insight into your lives. Condolences to you and your family 🌹
Such a fantastic and happy life she had doing what she enjoyed and bringing so much love and care to so many. Thoughts will be with you today. Take care. Brian
Aww bless you, what a wonderful, interesting story you have shared with us at this difficult time, thank you 💖. You to take and I'm sure Carole will RIP 🙏. June xx
Thank you Geoff for allowing us an insight into Carole's life. She was a wonderful caring person who will be sadly missed on this site. I loved looking at her photos of the garden and kept some to look at. I will be thinking of you both today x
Geoff, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful eulogy for your beautiful, caring wife. I will be thinking of you all, and Carole of course, this afternoon xx
Thank you Geoff for sharing this with us ,I already new that Carol was a caring person by her posts on here ,what I didn't know was how caring she had been through her life time ,RIP beautiful Carol take care of yourself Goeff thinking of you
Hi Geoff, thank you so much for sharing this with us - it means such a lot, and what a wonderful thing you both did with the care home. The world needs more people like your dear Carole. Take care Geoff ❤️xxxx
Well Geoff, what a wonderful eulogy for Carole and it really defines the kind of woman she was. You have done her proud and I hope you can reflect on all the good times you shared and allow the sad times to take a back seat. Having lost my husband a year ago I had a lot of pent up anger that he had to suffer so much and I've had to learn to put the anger away and rather be grateful for the happy times we shared. RIP Carole and I will be thinking of you both today. Best wishes.
Thank you so much for taking the time to post your tribute to Carole here. I read it just an hour before the funeral, and pray that it will be the send off you and she would want. It is fascinating to learn so much more about Carole's background, and it explains a lot about the depth of her contributions to our posts. We do miss her too: we are just grateful for the time we were able to share with her here.
While much of what you wrote was news to me her many accomplishments were not a surprise. I have no doubt she was committed to everything she did. You mentioned “You became a bigger part of her life than you probably realise.”, and she became part of our lives as well and will certainly miss her contributions to this forum. I have no doubt you will miss her but hopefully get a bit of comfort in knowing she is no longer suffering.
Huge condolences Geoff to you and your family, what a very special kind person Carole was, it was heart warming to read about her life and your life together, so appreciated. Take care. Sally x
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