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Petrified

Crimsoon profile image
16 Replies

Hello,

Went back to work after shielding due to being clinically vulnerable.

I’m in a class of 30 children and two other adults. Therefore, social distancing is not possible.

I can’t breathe properly in my mask.. my visor steams up as my sinus are diseased and I’m awaiting sinus surgery. I struggle so much.

I can’t see the children’s work because I’m so steamed up. I’m so scared that I’ll mark the work incorrectly. It’s taking me time to figure out

I can’t sleep, my heat pound, and I feel very hot and bothered. I’m anxious all the time. I sob so much.

I have lost 9kg and half of my hair. The doctor said that, it was too much weight to lose therefore I’ve had blood tests and a chest X-ray. All results were normal.

Work have offered unpaid leave for people. However, I can’t afford to take six months unpaid leave of £7000...

Feel so down 😢

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Crimsoon
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16 Replies
leo60 profile image
leo60

Oh bless you, I know exactly how you feel. I have been signed off work (Tesco checkout) for four weeks, with all those symptoms. Would your doctor not do the same for you? That would at least give you sick pay. I was just saying on another post, why cant they bring back the shielding, do they not realise that some clinically very vulnerable do still work and cannot afford to take unpaid leave?

You, as a teacher should be being highly valued and looked after, I am so sad to hear this is not the case. Please try to take care and not be so sad, love and thoughts, Laurie xx

Crimsoon profile image
Crimsoon in reply to leo60

We are going into local lockdown on Tuesday. I’m not sure if we will be asked to shield again.

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to Crimsoon

I hope you will be, it would give you some time at least, best wishes xx

mena52 profile image
mena52

Hi Crimsoon I really do feel for you, it's so daunting returning to such an important role, but try not to panic, you are doing the best you can for our future population. My daughter is also a teacher but for nursery & reception classes and my grandson is in his final year of a secondary school. My daughter had lots of worries although her school did return in June as did my grandson's school. My daughter has been very anxious about the whole situation, particularly as I myself caught covid in March and still have health problems, although I did have a weakened immunity due to cancer treatment last year. My daughter found it all so stressful & was getting migraines. I was self isolating so didn't see my daughter or grandson in person until recently & we are not doing the usual hugging. Have you tried deep breathing exercises to relax you before you enter a classroom? There is also a tapping technique you can try on your hands which I believe my daughter found via The Speakmans website. It is something you can do yourself that nobody would realise you are doing to try and relax and de-stress you if you find yourself getting panicky over issues. I believe my daughter originally saw this technique on an episode of This Morning on ITV here in the UK. It is very difficult to remind children to self isolate and keep a distance but you are capable of this job, you've probably been doing this for years so remind yourself of your achievements & how well you have done. Look up The Speakmans and try and see if this will help. I do also remember years ago when I was having counselling I was told to distract myself if I felt an anxiety panic by pinging the loose fitting rubber band around my wrist lightly. I think the idea is to try and distract your brain so that the anxiety shifts & your brain concentrates on something else. Good luck, you can do this and do it well xxx

Crimsoon profile image
Crimsoon in reply to mena52

Thankyou for the advice.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Crimsoon

Hi you are in a very difficult position but I agree you are doing a very important job so well done. A couple of things. Apparently if you wash your glasses in soap it stops them steaming up. Second try a thinner mask or a looser one or with a filter so you get more air. It might help.

Hi, oh I do feel So bad for you! There are several masks on the market , vented ones , but go for the double vents and it’s better if they have the nose clip where you can mould it to nose helps prevent all that hot air going onto glasses. , mulberry silk is another option, good ones on Etsy site. Beware of prices though and ensure that it is all silk. I got mine for £15 but did see other places charging up to £70

Glasses, I have tried the washing up liquid , can’t say I was steam free but not as fogged up. I try to sit glasses on top of mask, so you are wearing your glasses halfway down your nose, I need to wear old glasses as my new glasses have to be worn at top of nose.

I cannot imagine how you are coping, I’m struggling with breathing just now and can only stand mask for short period what I do find is that if breathing not good glasses more steamed up!

Have you spoken to your head teacher, I’m amazed so little thought has went into how people with health issues are meant to work and cope with their health at this time. Your GP may provide a sick note, given the amount of weight loss and anxiety. I am truly amazed at the lack of insight into this issue.

I retired last September but feel so bad for all ‘front line workers’

You do an amazing job, ❤️Best wishes to you, I really think shielding should be brought back soon

Sarah x

Crimsoon profile image
Crimsoon

When I was shielding, all wanted to do was be normal and go back to work. Now at work... I just want to be locked away again.

I am thinking are you really fit to be working with children, extreme, anxiety, weight loss, not sleeping, sounds like a recipe for a complete breakdown.

I would suggest (and I'm not a medical professional), you should sign off work, paid or unpaid you will need your doctor to provide sick notes and then if without pay you can apply for benefits.

I really don't think you should be working. Health is invaluable, finances can't buy good health.

in reply to

That's right finances can't buy good health!

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana

Hello Crimsoon , 👋😀

In my past life I too was a teacher. And I too went through a spell of what you are going through. But luckily I did not have the anxiety of Covid breathing down my neck. Nor did I have to try breathing through a mask whilst projecting my voice across a classroom of thirty children. So I can only imagine your plight and I bet I can't even imagine half of it

I will be honest and say your anxiety is making you very, very unwell. And from experience anxiety and depression love each other's company. One worry starts a conga line, then another links up, merrily they dance through our heads going round and round, then another worry or stress says "what fun" and links up causing anxiety to go through the roof, depression which is a good friend of anxiety, who claps it's hands and joins the dance. It's on going and gets worse as you can't seem to get a grip of it .

Clearly, this is not healthy for you at all. You've lost so much weight and your hair , all manifestations of this terrible situation. I may be out of line in saying this, but I would get a clinical assessment for your mental health. To my mind you should be able to take medical leave and apply for some kind of government assistance. I don't know how it works in the U.K. but here in Japan you would be deemed unfit to work. It doesn't have to be forever, just a hiatus until you are ready to go back, or not. Sorry if I am making assumptions. I just hope you can take a break and feel better. Nothing is worth risking our health mind or body.

Sending very best wishes and a gentle hug.

Cas xx 💕

Response profile image
Response

You poor thing. I totally get it

There are things that you can control and things you can't - Your stress is making you ill - so I imagine that something needs to be done or COVID will be the least of your problems. Either finding a way to live with the stress at school and if not possible finding a solution. Not being able to find a solution is probably also adding to the stress - i.e. making a decision that you feel you can't make like leave. If you won the lottery today, the stress would immediately disappear as you could take a sabbatical.

Some ideas:

If the school has already offered unpaid leave, perhaps they can offer you some other work remotely or in smaller groups (if they have the budget) - I imagine you've already thought of offering a different service though so are there other roles you can do online for a company whilst you take a sabbatical for the school?

e.g. The government has pledged to help lower income students catch up through extra teaching and

I heard an academy like Oak Academy or National Academyh might be good for a teacher. So I've pasted some articles about the government scheme.

It might be a way to extra work, especially if you have to stay in doors more in the winter/Covid.

Can you rent a smaller place? and rent out your home (if you own it?) to make up funds?

Some decisions may not be wonderful I'm afraid but may help your immediate situation.

Helen

schoolsweek.co.uk/what-oak-...

reachacademyfeltham.com/pag...

teachers.thenational.academy/

teachers.thenational.academy/

Crimsoon profile image
Crimsoon in reply to Response

Thankyou for your wonderful advice.

anng18 profile image
anng18

Hi Crimsoon,

I think your doctor should sign you of with stress and you should be on full pay!

I was a teacher who conscientiously went to work, regardless of how ill I was. I regret it, as it did me long term damage and without any intention of sounding bitter, it wasn't appreciated.

There have been many teachers, who have taken months of work, for stress related illnesses. The stresses they were suffering were not any thing like what you are going through. I really do feel so sorry for you, especially as you also sound so conscientious, which is probably creating additional stress , as you want to see your pupils improve and do well.

Please be kind to yourself, before you become more seriously ill.

Maximonkey profile image
Maximonkey

Hi Crimsoon, I am so sorry you are struggling. I too shielded for 5 months and I have just began to feel ok about going out. Today I received a letter telling me to shield again as I am in an area with high covid figs. At least I do not have to worry about work like you. My heart goes out to you. Take care and I hope you find a way to overcome your fears. Maximonkey

Crimsoon profile image
Crimsoon

Hello,

Which area is this? We are to be put into local lockdown tomorrow i am hoping that the government thinks about us...

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