Not Catching Donkeys...

While I was doing the animal rescue with Maureen...we collected maggoty sheep and foxes that'd been shot and sneaked about under cover of darkness to 'remove' chained up starving dogs and feral cats...the usual sort of thing...I had a call from the Donkey sanctuary...

Would I ever go with one of their inspectors to find and catch ten donkeys roaming loose in forestry lands...

I said I would of course...not a bother.

She turned up...the inspector person...in a posh sort of vehicle with Donkey Rescue written in bold letters on the side...and I just knew when she hopped out this would not be a good day.

Dressed in immaculate blue jeans, with a crisp white blouse and what looked like brand new runners, she extended a delicate and decidedly limp hand and introduced herself as Arianne...

I'd gathered up all the head collars and leads I could find in our barn and had the pockets of my ratty old cardigan stuffed with ginger biscuits and slices of apple ...she had nothing...not even so much as a leading rein or even a length of rope.

Off we went at a sedate pace to the forestry lands where the donkeys had last been seen...Arianne told me all about her school days ambition to 'help poor animals' and how her Father was friendly with the people who run the Donkey Sanctuary which was quite enough information for me to be going on with...

I told her about lurking in the local graveyard at one o'clock in the morning to catch a Lurcher with severe mange...she raised one delicate eyebrow...

We arrived...out in the middle of Mayo it was...very wild and beautiful. She managed to park this jeep thing and off we went along the pathway until she suddenly grabbed my arm and hissed...'There are men'...they'll be forestry workers eating their lunch I told her...'We can't ask them!' Yes we can I said and went over to the half dozen men sitting on a log munching cheese and pickle sandwiches...while Arianne hovered anxiously in the background...

You'll be looking for the straying asses, one of them said...pretty obvious from the various bits of harness I had over my shoulder and the others grinned and said it was a grand day altogether...and they munched away and debated whether or not to say more and came up with...'We'll give you a hand so...you and the girleen...if you'd like'

I relayed this to the girleen who looked aghast at the very idea...

So I explained carefully that they were being helpful and it was they who'd last seen the straying asses and we could do with the help actually because just what were we going to do with ten donkeys if and when we caught them...they won't all fit in your jeep thing...

She was actually backing away down this incredibly beautiful sunlit path...'I'll 'phone for help' she said while she flapped her pretty hands about because of the flies and the men sat on their log and laughed and said I had my work cut out there so I did and I said thank you so much for the offer but I rather think we've given up before we've even begun and they slapped their thighs and said to bring someone who knows what they're doing next time...

I walked back behind her...seething.

On the way back home she saw a donkey in a paddock. A perfectly ordinary looking donkey...'it ought not to be on its own'...and she pulled up and marched over to the nearest cottage and asked was it their donkey and they said it was and she said it shouldn't be living on its own and the man told her to take a hike...I slid down on the passenger seat and pretended I wasn't there...

Some weeks later I received another 'phone call from the donkey rescue people...would I ever go and catch...and I said no, I wouldn't.