Eilis...you remember her...the small fat dog I bought for five punt years ago at a horse fair. She was tied to a decrepit old donkeys leg with a bit of blue baler twine...so tiny she fitted in the palm of my hand. I'd have bought the donkey, but to be honest it looked as though it was seriously on its last legs...
So Eilis came home and settled in and grew up to be a demanding and exceedingly shouty small dog...
We had her spayed after she gave birth to one enormously fat puppy...heaven only knows who her boyfriend was or when this gross baby was conceived because all of our dogs have been spayed and neutered the minute they're old enough...she didn't like her baby much actually and only fed him because I practically sat on her with the puppy held to her nipple...
But long before Eilis came to be an unmarried mother, she chased a flock of sheep straight up the mountain of Knock Na Shee...the mountain of the Faerie. I was at the bottom shouting at her to stop now this instant, while she was oblivious and kept on running...then there was one sheep left. The ram.
He stood his ground and lowered his head and made a run at her...she fled.
Straight back down the mountainy slopes...to arrive at the bottom out of breath, with her eyes starting out of her head, her tongue lolling...she collapsed at my feet.
We learned the hard way that we can't take Eilis out in the car...she eats the wiring and the seat belts and renders the car virtually unusable...no back lights and no radio...no passenger side seat belt...not to mention the snot covered windows and the hysterics she has if she happens to see a dog out for a walk.
Her nails grow at an alarming rate and our floors are that pretend wood so you hear her all the time clicking and clacking as she goes between kitchen and sitting room...she throws the most appalling tantrum when I trim her longest nails...wailing and crying and wriggling...so we took her to the vets to have them done and she sat quietly and didn't need a muzzle and lifted her feet up in a dainty manner and I could have cheerfully throttled her...she licked the vets hand and gave her a smarmy sort of look...
Eilis loves coffee...there was a time when she was younger than she is now when you couldn't leave your mug on the table with coffee dregs in it...she'd be up there the minute your back was turned slurping up the bit in the bottom...
She's lovely and warm though, on a cold winters night when she sleeps beside me snoring and twitching with dreams only she can see...
Now her muzzle is more white than black and she's quite stout and can't jump up on the table anymore...she sheds vast amounts of hair and loves to snuggle with Himself in the evening...wriggling about on his lap until she's comfy...her nose in his armpit.
Bit odd to recall that tiny scrap who shook and shivered in my hands all those years ago.
You might not know...Eilis is pro. Eye leash.