A little insulted...

[Willow7733]

So, finally have a few days off for vacation, and had on a tv show last night to keep me company while I was making my lunch. It was The Big Bang Theory. I never noticed before, but they make Lenard’s asthma a punchline for a joke all the time. He sees a cute girl (inhaler and laugh track), he is stressed out (inhaler and laugh track), his mother is stressing him out (inhaler and laugh track). I don’t know. It is 2020! I don’t know about anyone here, but yes, I have stressful times with my mother...but I don’t grab my inhaler after talking to her. I see a cute guy, I don’t go for my inhaler. Never. What is it with portraying asthma as such a weakness, and the symptom of a person who lacks any kind of confidence at all?? Why is everyone laughing?

[lakelover]

Maybe it's my age, but I feel there is nearly nothing funny about comedy shows anymore. I've not lost my sense of humour because I find dvds we've got funny. I once read that comedy is usually because of someone's misfortune & I think that is true to a large extent. If someone slips on a banana skin that is supposed to be funny, unless you have slipped on one in the past. If people tell Irish jokes they are considered to be racist, but Frank Carson could tell them because he was Irish. I think it's a matter of perspective.

[ChrissieMons]

I agree - it is infantile and very wearing, especially as many children with asthma are bullied- ‘faking it’ ‘can do it if s/he wants’ and so on. But then I think of the abuse some BAME people get, and I can let it wash over me.

[Poobah]

Ah, the psychology of comedy. My theory is, that those who have an empathetic nature will not see anything funny in banana skin type comedy.

I've had to leave the room as a TV comedic character is facing hurt or embarrassment - all the while my family are rocking with laughter. My excuse is that I'm putting the kettle on.

Comedy is very personal. But I also think that some of it can be lazy or formulaic.

American sit coms can be both lazy and formulaic.

So I'm with you, some comedy is rubbish and can, at times, be unkind. Thank goodness for DVDs.

[Lysistrata Administrator Community Ambassador]

This also frustrates me, and I feel it's on a different level from 'they made a horrible adaptation of my favourite book' or 'I don't like this show, it's badly written/the main character is annoying'. It's not just about 'I don't like how everyone thinks I'm just weak because I have asthma', though that's a problem in itself that an illness is shown for laughs and misrepresented.

To me it's also that it's likely to colour how the general public sees asthma, as something that you don't take seriously, everyone has it, it's just stress, breathe into a paper bag, relax. Not that you should mock anxiety either or suggest people with it are weak, but asthma can be serious and this whole 'inhaler as emotional crutch' thing really minimises that.

One in 6 people in the UK doesn't know asthma can kill you, and we have pretty terrible stats for asthma attacks and deaths here; globally it's also responsible for a lot of disability, illness, and time off work and school.

Of course there are many reasons for our rubbish figures, but I suspect it doesn't help when people have a very skewed idea of asthma in their head as a bit of a comedy illness that's just basically stress/people breathing dramatically and then being fine when someone tells them to relax. I've also seen someone having what's suggested to be a really bad attack, but one neb and half an hour later they're fine and back to their work as a nurse. Not helpful to give people the idea that it's always that easily sorted and recovered from - especially on a medical drama!

There are other problems with representation/misrepresentation in the media of course, of many groups, and in how BAME people and disabled people are both treated and represented. But I think this one is a valid concern too. Not sure what I can do about it mind you!

[Jaylien]

I’ve noticed it’s how ‘nerd’ characters are portrayed in comedies. I can’t think of any specifics off the top of my head but I’ve seen it before. Exactly what you said. A lil stress, inhaler, cute person, inhaler.

It’s annoying! And it hurts! I’ve heard all the jokes with my asthma too. And I’ve had people not take me seriously or wonder why I’m reaching for an inhaler when there’s nothing they can see wrong.

Growing up it was always the unfit, the nerds or the overweight people on shows portrayed as asthmatic. There were kids in my school who were on the cross country team who were asthmatic, and I’m tired of the stereotype. You’re asthma is either diminished as comedy, because you fit into the stereotype somehow, or it is diminished because you just managed to run a long distance, so how bad can it really be.

They don’t even bother to consider that you can have good days and bad days. “But you did it last time, you must be lying now to get out of it”

The stereotypes and use in comedy just encourage people not to take it seriously no matter how they look at it. But it can be deadly. Would it really be that much trouble to have it portrayed seriously somewhere? Either just a character taking inhalers with no ‘funny’ trigger So it’s not shown as a weakness or even showing how much of an impact it can have so people can see it’s actually serious.

[EvieJo]

Yeah, they also make fun of his lactose intolerance aswell! I don’t really get offended by things like that as I personally think political correctness has gone a bit to far. When I was younger, I was asthmatic (still am), had to wear a patch over one eye (not anymore) and had bright red hair! (It’s not as red anymore and I actually love it now and get many compliments). This show also used to make fun of the Indian and the Jewish guy in the cast ensemble, and the girl as the ‘dumb uneducated one’. I don’t think it was particularly offensive though. Anything that insults or offends you, you have the option not to watch I guess.

[Hamscoul]

My asthma has been severe for a long time and my quality of life up to March this year was poor to say the least. I had a lot of time off work and my boss asked why I couldn't just push through. The jokes in the big bang theory don't help. I am in your gang, it's not funny. But it's the same for many medical conditions. I also have type two diabetes. Years of steroids, being miserable, chronic sinus pain long periods of inactivity because I couldn't breathe, people just see a fat person with no self discipline. That's why I like this forum because you all know what it's like. We know it's no joke.

[Willow7733 in reply to Hamscoul]

I work in a hospital. My co workers don’t know I have asthma. I have seen them deal with patients who come in having asthma attacks and I have seen how they react when they are not near the patient. The rolling of the eyes. They don’t believe that it is as bad as they are saying. I think these tv shows (and movies) help add to the stigma...even those who should know better - don’t. Unless they have had it happen to them. I have heard them even comment “can’t breathe? They are talking aren’t they??”. (And then the eye roll). It is awful. My parents were not very sympathetic either growing up. “It’s not cancer so stop coughing. You are going to make it worse!” I learned to just shut up about it and not tell anyone.

I guess I could just not watch the shows, but I like them. I have a stressful job and it helps me relax. It just frustrates me when I see people laughing and misrepresenting what a serious medical condition asthma can be. I am not a “nerd” per se. I don’t think I am. I don’t grab my rescue just because I see a cute guy, talk to my mother, or watch the news (saw the movie Signs last night and it was the same thing with the kid with asthma. News showed something stressful...and he reaches for his inhaler.). I don’t see it as a weakness but as a struggle to find some kind of normalcy even through it’s unpredictability at times. I am an adult! Why am I ashamed to admit I have this? It shouldn’t be this way. Just frustrating.

[EvieJo]

I work in a hospital too, and have experienced what you’ve described. A few years ago I had a bad asthma attack at work (think I had a viral bug as well as developed a v.high temp.) I was treated with what I will describe as ‘disdain’ from other nurses. I saw one roll her eyes and say pffhhh, she’s just got a case of Mondayitis!

I remember thinking hmmmm so much for the caring profession! (I ended up being admitted by the consultant). As you say, you even get it from people who ‘should know better’.

I also recently took my car to a garage as I had a problem with its air conditioning and was trying to explain to the guy what was happening with it and he said, does it sound like ‘a raging asthmatic’ and laughed. I just looked at him 😐. I don’t think I sound like a leaky broken air conditioning unit but Hey-ho.

Sadly people do have a lot of pre conceived ideas of what it’s like to have a certain condition, as another poster mentioned, it’s not just asthma. Yes, I think we are often thought of as weak, I certainly don’t have any of the triggers Leonard has either!

[Willow7733 in reply to EvieJo]

It is awful isn’t it? And that is exactly why I don’t go for help. I have had the asthma nurse tell me “why didn’t you go to the hospital??” Ummm, because I work in that department, and unless I was dying...no way!

[EvieJo]

I feel the same 🤣. It’s not funny really, in fact it’s pretty sad and really a shame. Since I’ve been back at work from shielding I’ve had quite negative reactions from some colleagues, like “I didn’t even know you had asthma” - as if to say so it can’t be that bad, along with the standard “well my cousin has asthma and she didn’t shield”. Good for her! Her cousin doesn’t even work - let alone in a high risk environment so she’s been somewhat protected anyway! These kind of stupid thoughtless comments are unfortunately inevitable and it’s just plain ignorance really so I just shrug it off, but it does get annoying as they obviously see me as some kind of ‘shirker’. My workplace are trying to skirt round the occupational health recommendations and put me where Im not supposed to be but I’m digging my heels in as I’ve realised there really is only ME who gives a damn about my health - to them Im just another ‘body’. So it’s up to me to advocate for myself. Makes you more unpopular though!

[Willow7733 in reply to EvieJo]

I am sorry people are treating you that way. It isn’t right. And that is awesome you are standing your ground. I worked through the whole pandemic (even did over time and came in on vacation days), but I am no more ahead. I have noticed that maybe I have been hurting myself in doing that - nobody knows about my chest pain/tightness, breathing trouble during this time. I nearly fainted twice at work. The first time I said I wasn’t taking breaks to eat properly ( which was true), but the second time my vision started to fade, they put me on a sat monitor and my oxygen sat was 85%. Then I had to tell a few I have asthma and I have been having trouble getting control for weeks now. I was lucky that night I was working with some people who have children with it and they sent me home ASAP (since I didn’t want to stay). I promised I would call my doctor. I did. But just to renew prescriptions. He asked me how my asthma is, and I said fine. It is just a knee jerk reaction- my go to answer because I don’t have the patience for the eye rolls or brush offs when I am not feeling well. I think he is on to me though, because lately, he only gives me the bare minimum of refills and gets me to call him more often. And when I say I am fine, he sounds like he doesn’t believe me at all. Just so frustrating having this, having a phobia about admitting there is something wrong, and working with people who judge you.

[EvieJo in reply to Willow7733]

Thanks Willow, it sounds to me like you really need to start putting yourself first. I’m not usually good at doing that either but we have to, now more than ever. Do you have asthma reviews with anyone at your gp practice? I’ve had asthma since I was a child and there’s been times when I’ve been a bit complacent and not taken it as seriously as I should and paid the price. If you’re not feeling it’s under very good control, maybe schedule a review. I’ve had a message from my gp today saying they won’t give me anymore inhalers till I contact them! They do seem to be a lot stricter renewing scripts lately.

[Willow7733 in reply to EvieJo]

I was a little surprised when I saw only three refills on my Ventolin and only 6 on the Zenhale (Dulera). But I think my GP knows I am having a hard time lately ( he mentioned he could hear me over the phone and I didn’t sound well). He even had my pharmacy to call me to make sure I come in for my prescriptions (that they were ready ASAP). I should ask them next time what exactly my GP said to them because they never call em. I call them. And you are SO right. I think I should start putting myself first. I won’t call in sick at work because I feel bad they are so short staffed...and stay for doubles because the co worker I am working with wants to go home. 🙄 I need to do something because obviously what I am doing now isn’t working. And I keep telling myself it could be something simple, and no more struggling! I don’t know why I don’t just get it done.