This one may pushe over the edge ....

Hiya!

I've hit rock bottom and really need some advice ...

I've been suffering with my breathing and constant cough since October 2011. They attempted steroid reduction twice already but it's always kicked it off again when I got down to 10mg. This time Ive managed to get down to 15mg for 6 days and now I've got a viral chest infection that they cant give me antibiotics for and have upped my steroids back up to 30mg .... Argh!!!

I'm so depressed all the time and feel so useless & lazy as I'm unable to do anything around the house and struggle to walk unaided and even then it's not very far without me getting breathless and dizzy and getting chest pains.

On top of all that I lost my job Christmas week run up with them stating my illness as the reason and as I had only been there for 6 months it seems I don't have many rights. I'm due to speak to ACAS soon to find out for sure if what they've done is legal or not.

Then to top it all off this morning my fella tells me that he's struggling to deal with it all, me loosing my job, being so sick and with no prospect of getting better anytime soon it's getting to him. He's said that he loves me and wants to stay but he's fighting thoughts that he's making the wrong decision. We've had a talk about it but I'm feeling awful about it all. Think I need to tell you that my ex husband stated that he couldn't handle my illnesses (different ones) when we called it a day on our marriage, so I'm currently freaking out!

I don't know what to do

Xxx

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Hi. Don't need me to tell you stress doesn't help with any illness. Can be a trigger with asthma.

Good luck with ACAS, at least they should listen.

Can understand where your other half is coming from. When I'm not 100%, OH goes from one extreme to the other saying 'Take your time up this road and don't rush' then in the next breath, saying 'Look. Gap in the traffic. Come on!'

Its a hard one to deal with for those who don't fully understand what we call invisible illnesses. Like asthma. Until diagnosed myself, presumed the little blue inhaler solved all and that sufferers seemed to make a fuss about nothing. Now, due mostly to the good information on this site, I understand a lot more but have left most of my friends and relatives far behind in that no-man's land, I used to inhabit. Hang on in there together if you can. This chap is not your ex. Don't look for similarities, doesn't help in the least. Remember if you can, why you got together in the first place. Now go from there.

Keep us posted.

GM

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Hi MooMoo,

Afraid I have very little of use to offer but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug as things are obviously very tough for you right now.

I seem to remember you saying that you were waiting to see a 'difficult' asthma specialist? How long have you got to go? I guess he must have a long list of desperate people but is it worth trying to see if there is any way you can get in sooner, maybe ringing his secretary? Might not work but as my grandmother used to say, 'the no you already have it' (bad English lol but she actually said it in Spanish). So perhaps worth at least trying?

Anyway good luck with it all. You are definitely not useless but this is a lot to cope with; I really hope you get somewhere soon and something works out for you for a change! xx

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Dear Moomoo,

*sends lots of warm hugs* I am terribly sorry to hear of your series of unfortunate events Please do remember none of it is your fault and you have been doing great getting through it all and not giving up, you re a very courageous and strong person and I m sure you will get through the many obstacles in your path. I m so sorry asthma is rubbish at the moment and that your other half isnt as supportive as we d like him to be, hopefully after your chat things have settled, although I suppose it is difficult for anyone without asthma to truly understand what its like, that being said, he chose you and to support you through sickness and in health, and right now I know it must seem quite over-whelming with it being more sickness than good health but it will get better and your situation will improve dear. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. Have a pleasant night dear *hugs*

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Aww MooMoo, The steroids will make you feel low also.Try 1mg reductions if you can.Hope your partner stays with you and work together to help him realise your love is worth it and will get through it.Dont worry about work ,things have a way of working out for the best .Lots of love and hugs xxx

[Asthma-girl]

Aww MooMoo.

I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time of it at the moment *hugs* to you

I do hope things start to improve for you soon

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I know you have good qualites that your partner loves about you. Focus on whats good and handle the rest step by step. What can you change? U can find the right balance. I pray that u both work it out. Your health improves and you find a job you can do. Everything happening at once can overwelm anyone but break them down and handle them one at a time ok.

gill

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Bless you MooMoo,

cant offer much help,

but big hugss xxxxx

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so sorry you having such a rough time, remember no matter what u have people to chat to here,

it is difficult with partners if they dont have it then its difficult to explain why you so ill and we cant help it if we cough etc, as for work you need to be fully better and ok before working so your health comes first, i wish i could say more but im struggling at the moment and seeing various people for my asthma so i know how you feel, so havent any answers for you, i just got diagnosed sept 2011, alll i can say is there seems to be nice folk on here just to chat or if you need a bit of tlc, we all stuggling day by day, any time u need a chat just post on here , (hugs)

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I feel so sorry for you. About your job, have you thought of also contacting the citizens advice and anyone is entitled to free 30 minute session with a solicitor - one who specializes in employment law. You did right to contact ACAS. Also is there a way of speaking to your doctor and getting him to write to your employer to see whether that would make amends.

As far as your relationship you cannot help it if you are ill through asthma or anything else, i have had previous heart problems now i have asthma recently diagnosed out of the blue. 3 years ago i was good until i had 4 viruses in 11 months and one landed me in hospital so as far as illness goes i know how you feel. how long have you been together and perhaps you both need to talk things through. Is there anyway you could get - not necessarily councelling but just talking to somone might help and are your family supportive. I am just giving you ideas. if you want to chat, shout at me and get it ""off your chest"" thats fine too -lol mail me.

take care and good luck

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hi hunni

really sorry to hear your having a rough time, been in a similiar situation myself , i was sacked from my job because of ill health, just try and get the best help and advice with that, but dont stress your self out if thiers nothing you can do about it, its really not worth it.

Partners and people in general dont understand what you feel like when you have this horrible disease, i do now, i have it, it makes you feel crap, i have felt like that for the last 5 months with out knowing what was wrong with me, now i know i can deal with it.PLEASE dont call your self useless you sound a great person, you just need a break girl in life, things will get better, well they cant get any worse can they sweetheart, you have shown great courage by telling people how you feel, that takes guts,we have all felt this low at sometime in our lifes but youve had the strenght to share it with us.

Hope things improve , am here if you want to talk, just read all these messages and just see you are not alone ok, xxx