Santa has been admitted to a psychiatric ward tonight.......he is suffering from low elf esteem !!
North Pole News: Santa has been... - Asthma Community ...
North Pole News
Santa on Trial
You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Saint Nick,
alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode,
with the following charges:
Failing to apply for landed immigrant status from
Finland to the North Pole;
Crossing the Canadian-USA border illegally on
December 25 of each year as far back as records go;
Failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying
your elves and dwarfs the minimum wage, provide
paid vacations and wages at time and a half for
more than 40 hour work weeks, or meeting the
standards of the Worker's Compensation Boards
Failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments,
income tax deductions and Canada Pension payments
to the proper authorities on behalf of your employees;
You are accused of the illegal entry of millions of
Canadian and American homes on December 25 of
each year;
Violating the Federal Anti-Combines Investigation
Act by operating a tight monopoly;
Failing to file a flight plan for your travels;
Failing to equip your vehicle with seat belts or
properly fitting your reindeer with emission control
devises;
Not declaring as taxable income the cookies and
milk left for you by millions each year;
Illegally competing with the Canadian Post Office
and USPS, and possible breaking drug laws by
administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph
to make his nose light up;
And finally, parking in a no parking zone, namely
rooftops, and having no record of either a driver's
or pilot's licence ever being issued to a Mister
Claus in any of the ten provinces and two territories
or 50 US States.
Faced with all these accusations and understanding
their severity, have you any statement to make
before I . . .
wish you a . . Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year
and dismiss these charges?
(only in America ? )