Hello Everybody!!!

Never done this before so I'm just going to use it as an excuse for a bit of a rant. I AM happy and have every reason to be. I have the best fiance in the world and we are getting married in a few months Our perfect little angel of a daughter will be our flower girl and we're all very excited. The wedding is all very low key so that is not causing me any stress other than money which is a major issue at the moment. So you're probably thinking what the hell do you have to complain about? The truth is I don't have anything to complain about. I ask myself this every day and haven't come up with anything. Apart from the burning up, the sweaty palms, the irritability, the self doubt, the headaches,the nausea, the feelings of dread etc that I get simply because I have to make a doctors appointment or speak to someone at the bank or because I haven't managed to complete all the chores I wanted to. Even taking my daughter to classes can be a struggle. I have been feeling like this for over 2 years now and have never spoken to a doctor because I had no idea what to say. "Right Dr I am not sick I have a wonderful life and have nothing to be stressed or anxious about I have no idea whats wrong with me can you give me something for that?" It was only because I was looking for imformation on lacking motivation that I stumbled on a page describing anxiety and its symptoms. When I realised I understood every word to the point where it could have been my autobiography I was reading I thought I'd give Anxiety Uk a go so Hello all an I hope your all having good days xxxxx

[Trip]

Hello R3d106 and welcome to the site, it's great that you have posted

well first time to say is anxiety can hit you even if you have everything you have ever wanted

it is just one of them things.

Going to your GP will be a great start for you to have a better understanding and also for you to help with it, I too left it a long time before i would go to the doctors as I looked it in the same way as you but its the best start for you to gain control of it.

you are not alone with the way you are feeling and theirs lots and lots of nice people on this site to talk to.

All the best keep happy.

T

[donaf]

Hello uve come to the rite place from the sounds of it. It doesn't matter how well and happy u r with ur life as anxiety can just hit u out of the blue. Like u I was happy and things was finally going gud for me wen anxiety made its appearance. It wasn't till I actually sat down n thought of the all the things in the past that I had finally found my reasons for it. It will pass for u uve just got to take the rough with the smooth. Seeing my gp was the best thing I cud of done, and like u by chance finding this site as its been so helpfull and I neva feel alone anymore with it. I hope u have a lovely wedding day and take one day at a time xxx

[fadedlizard]

Hi R3,

Welcome. You've found the right place. Everyone here is really supportive and reassuring. Don't be afraid to make an apt to see yr GP, you need some help at the moment and they won't think you're silly for asking.

Best Wishes

Lizard.

[Hidden]

Hi R3

Welcome

Cant say any more than everyone has already said , just because you have everything it doesnt stop anxiety , so dont feel you shouldnt be suffering if you are

Relate to how you feel & agree go & see your GP

If you feel you dont no what to say copy what you have written on your blog as it says it all , just pass it over to them , many of us have done this when we struggle with words & they are used to it

Good luck

Let us no how you go on & keep posting

Love

whywhy xxx

[marcusvanbreugel]

Dear R3d106,

Welcome to this site. It is so nice to have you join us.

Kindest regards,

Marcus

[ellabella]

Hi R3d, You started of your blog so positive it was a pleasure to read . There is no shame in suffering with Anxiety. We all do and that's why we are here. I'm so glad you have recognised what your symptoms are and no there doesn't have to be a reason. Take all the help you can get my love, and use it. Everything sounds to be going well but everyone knows this is a very stressful time even if you are coping well. If this has gone on for 2 years I would advise seeing your GP and having a chat about it, all of it. I hope you get on alright and look forward to hearing from you soon Lots of Love x Ella x

[Rosylilac]

Hi and welcome. My situation is almost identical to yours. I have a wonderful husband and two amazing children, i don't even have any money worries. For me i think I have become more anxious since my life has become so good because in the back of my head i feel like i've got more to lose than everb before, ii worry about getting sick or something happening to one of my family. Its like i've got something so prescious that the responsibility of looking after it all is too much and i constantly worry. Well done for acknowledging it, as they say its good to talk ! Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Rosylilac]

I think its a loss of control thing that has caused my anxiety due to the things that can set off panic attacks i.e work - I went back part time after having my daughter and feel out of the loop and finding it difficult to carry out my senior role when I have no idea whats happening for half the week; Getting ready for a night out - I piled on the weight in pregnancy and afterwards and really struggling to lose any of it so trying to look good is a real chore; Driving in heavy traffic or diversions - I started getting really nervous driving during pregnancy and thats just got worse; Plans changing last minute outside of my conrtrol - I planned to go shopping with a friend last monday then ended up having to go on a course with work and almost totally lost it (ridiculous I know) and a big one is MONEY - Money is unbelievably tight and my partner and I are saving for a wedding. Every time I think we're doing ok and might have enough something happens with the car or the boiler or the latest one (this morning, so not at my best right now at all) found a leak in the living room ceiling so now I have visions of the whole bathroom being ripped out and our wedding funds dissappearing!!!. I think hormonal changes during pregnancy and obviously my entire life changing after having my baby as well as mortgage and bills (we got the house 1 month before I got pregnant), Lack of social life or 'me' time due to cost and not having babysitters and part time work have just mest with my head. I've lost control of several aspect of my life and not sure how to get it back on track. It makes me very sad that you're worried about losing your perfect family. I'm sure you deserve to be happy just as much as the next person. I totally understand the intensity of what you feel for them though and I think those intense emotions sometimes make me feel a bit out of control too because this is a woman who only a few years ago never wanted to be married or have children and was quite happy never being responsible for anybody else. How things can change! and so fast too!

[Rosylilac in reply to Hidden]

Everything you have said makes so much sense to me. I struggled giving up my career and going from someone that people respected and praised to being a tired, irritable, very isolated individual. Its the hardest thing in the world. Worrying about money must be all consuming because the cost of everything is so high. Although we are not rolling in it by any means we have just about enough to cover things and i still manage to worry so i can completley understand why that it a huge source of anxiety for you. You sound like you are really being hard on yourself for feeling anxious, like it is weak or something, it really isn't at all (by the way i don't always practice what i preach, i am constantly beating myself up about it). You also sound resigned, like its not resolvable, i'm sure that now you have taken this first step you are on the way to regaining control of the things you feel have run away from you. You sound like a very sensible, lovely person who is being a bit hard on themselves. Planning for a wedding when things are tight must so soooo stressful, is there anywhere you could shave the costs or cut back to bring down the overall cost?

You are so right about pregnancy, everything changes and nothing is ever the same after you've become a mother, you lose control of absolutely everything don't you and if you've been used to being in control this can be impossible to get your head around.

I really hope your ceiling is ok and doesn't cost too much to fix, keeping my fingers crossed for you

I've just been to a job interview and was so nervous i sweated like hell so i'm sure i won 't get the job because of my awful sweat patches!!!!

[Hidden in reply to Rosylilac]

OMG I hate interviews! You're so brave. I need to psyche up for that I think I so need a new job. All my fingers are crossed for you. They expect nerves at interviews it shows you really want it so you're still totally in with a chance!! Let me know how that turns out for you. Yeh I think motherhood has knocked me off balance. Even though I am at my happiest when I'm with My little angel and her Daddy it has still been the hugest change I have ever experienced and completely consuming. I've had to change my whole way of life and way of thinking. She is so amazing though and makes me happier than I've ever been as well as the most stressed lol. I do beat myself up about it and do feel weak you are absolutely right. This site is my first step toward outwardly admitting that I am struggling because I do find that difficult. I consider myself to be a great mummy but in my senior role at work I lack confidence badly. I never used to but my frame of mind means I doubt myself all the time and its pretty hard to be assertive when you dont trust your own judgement.

The wedding doesn't make me too nervous. It is the most down to earth budget wedding of the century and its just going to be loads of fun. The whole thing, including suit, dress, venue, food, entertainment even invites is costing about 3 and half thousand and family are putting money towards it. We need to save about 1 and half thousand but as I say life keeps happening and stopping us in our tracks lol. We just don't have anything to save. Oh on the plus side neither the living room ceiling or bathroom need ripping out and rebuilding. We just need something doing with the toilet that I don't understand but my grandad knows someone who can do it on the cheap phew!!!

I laughed at your 'I don't practise what I preach' line. I'm the same. I've got all the best advice in the world for everyone else ha ha ha ha.

Anyway let me know about the job and hope you're feeling chilled now the interviews over and done with.

[Rosylilac]

I can really relate to everythng you say, I've never been happier and never been so stressed either. I feel like when i do the morning school run I don't breath from 7am until I finally drop one at nursery and one at school and then I walk through the gate and take my first breath in two hours, its a wonder I don't pass out lol. I find out about the job on Monday but to be honest I'm having second thoughts because the hours are too much.

My anxiety is really focused on my health, I worry constantly that I am ill or going to get ill. But thats just a symptom of GAD which I have kind of been diagnosed with, basically I worry too much!! Its so tough though when you are like that because your body works on overdrive constantly and that is absolutely exhausting. My problem is that the more stressed i get the more ill i feel and then that worries me and I think there is something wrong and there we are back at the beginning ! The trick for all of us is to relax, but not just every now and again, regularly, easier said than done. I'll let you know if I get the job, take care over the weekend, if you're feeling anxious ....post x

[Hidden]

well appointment made at doctors. Lets see if she can work miracles lol. Really struggling. My mind is like cogs trying to turn in treacle. Feel so out of control of my own normal day to day functions which just magnifies the feeling of dread and panic about everything ever. On the plus side someone on here (thankyou tintin) gave me a fabulous tip and I am now living off lists. Writing down on an evening exactly what I need for the next day and ticking it off as I gather it and set it out for the morning then check the list again as I set off. It makes me feel more organised and in control and saves me having panic attacks when I can't find things. THANK YOU SO MUCH for the tip. xx