Im back to square 1

[Nellie_z]

During the whole festive season I've been having this feeling of impending doom. Im always feeling like my time is up. More especially since we are in the new year. I'm always feeling like everyday is my last day. Getting in the car is a nightmare, coz i feel like it will crash or something. Leaving the house feels awful as well because i feel like something will happen to me during my destination. I have a very rotten tooth, but I'm afraid to go and get it extracted incase the doctor injects me with the wrong injection and I die during the process or maybe I die from pain. Even falling asleep I feel like I won't wake up in the morning. I feel horrible, I so wish things were normal for me as well. I'm afraid even of having ambitions incase I don't get to fulfill them. I'm so out of place like my life has no meaning. I don't even think what I'm saying makes sense...

[SCC1]

Hi Nellie_z. That makes sense to me. I had those types of fears at one time, too. I had believed I was doomed and thought, what's the point of trying anything, it won't happen in a positive way.

Those are very anxious thoughts to have, especially if they involve a lot of things or important things. I had felt that I was "almost there" with things I really wanted/needed to do. Like the only thing left to happen was the actual event. But I felt like I shouldn't go through w/ it. The frustration of not being able to do what I wanted, was an issue too.

For me personally, I had put all this pressure on myself that I should not be feeling this way. I had thought, how can other people do the same things I wanted to and not question it?

I somehow got past this anxiety after a while, and I sympathize w/ you so much. But it is anxiety causing your fears, nothing more. When I was experiencing this, I felt the same way you do, about "today" being my last day. But I'm still here and the fears I had, never happened. That was a big relief for me, to find out that they were caused by anxiety.

No matter how strong the belief is that something will happen, it won't just because you think it will. I don't know what causes that type of anxiety but it will pass even if it takes some time.

Please try to be kind to yourself. When you have these thoughts, try to relax...take deep breaths and relax your body and take a step back from the thoughts. Then hopefully, you will be able to see that the fear is anxiety and nothing more.

Feel better xx

[rafsgt1238641 in reply to SCC1]

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[Nellie_z in reply to SCC1]

You wont even believe this. I somehow challenged myself to try and answer this response in February, since what i posted was in the beginning of January, just to have something to hold on to till I get to the next month, coz well as you know in my head I'm always thinking that the present day is my last. I kind of felt a bit better yesterday seeing that I've made it past another month. I know that sounds stupid, but yeah. You know the funny thing is that I've been through these exact same thoughts 6 years ago, but somehow they feel so different yet the same this time around. I know i sound crazy sometimes, but that's how i feel. There will be days where ill wake up feeling so normal like everything is oky again, then maybe after 3hoirs or so I'll feel myself sinking again slowly, till by the time noon comes I'll be feeling hopeless again and back to where I started. I try to absorb those tiny moments of normality as much as I can coz deep down I'd know that it won't be long. Gosh I feel like I'm losing my mind. Just wish I'd wake up the next day and feel normal and whole again...

[Babe1213]

Hi Nellie Happy New Year to you. Sad to hear you are experiencing some 'down times', with feelings of impending doom. Did you know that January is the month most people have these experiences more than any other? It has something to do with the festive season of goodwill coming to an end. Try to not let it get you down - I know that is hard, but try.

You also say you get the feeling your 'time is up', if I had an English pound for every time I felt like that I would be monetary rich by now. Again because we are in January you will feel negative more than positive. You say also that 'every day is your last day!' There really is nothing wrong in that thought, try treating every day a if it were your last day. Truth is, it may be, we just don't know. Far better - I think - to go out on a day when you can feel positive, like you're in charge, than have negative thoughts wondering 'when it is going to happen.'

As far as the car goes, is it mechanically fit? Do the brakes work? Is it serviced and fit for purpose? If you have done everything possible to ensure its safety, there is nothing else you can do - apart from watching out for idiots on the road, being an aware and sensible driver.

The tooth, what is worse having a really bad tooth ache that will continue to last until you have it extracted or the fear of the pain which might not happen. The dentist will NOT inject you with the wrong stuff, that more than his job is worth, he could lose his licence, plus he could be sued for big Rands!

I don't want to belittle your feeling about not waking up in the morning - believe me, I have been in that place, and although I don't know how you - yourself, I do understand. Simple truth is if you don't wake up in the morning, you won't know about it.

You don't say how old you are, but I am guessing not too old (I am 4 days short of 75) as you are mentioning ambitions. May I urge you to take back control over your life. Every negative can be turned into a positive - if you want it too. Try making two lists, the first of all the good things in your life, the second, list all the bad things, then weigh them up one against the other. You can get through this. If you choose to go ahead with the tooth extraction let me know when I will hold you in prayer - which to me is always a good way of helping oneself.

Finally, you have made perfect sense to me. You just need to take some time to build up your self confidence and learn how to love yourself in a positive way. xx