Do I have Social Anxiety?

[LookingForRoots]

I can play my bass in front of 100s of people without a shred of nerves. I am a manager in my job and can dictate and delegate effectively, fairly and in a considerate way without fuss. When I have a function and there is a definate reason to converse I have no trouble. But talking to a stranger or being in a group in a social setting for socialising's sake is exhausting and emotionally painful. I can't bring myself to believe that anyone has, or should have, any interest in me on any level so I never know what to say. It is to the point now where I avoid all social scenarios because there is no value in it anymore. It just makes me feel like an alien that just happens to look like a human. I have no idea how to be myself around people because I barely know who I am anymore. Even praise after a good gig is not welcome, I pack up and go home asap. I'm always aloof and I know sometimes I am plain rude just so I can get away. I don't like it. I have no idea how to just be normal. Do I speak to my doctor or am I wasting his precious time?

[KaHa79]

Sounds just like me... I work as a Cabin Manager for an airline and have no problems speaking to 200+ passengers sitting and staring at me. I am fine with a 1-2-1 meetings with my friends, with 2 slightly less comfortable but still doable. Any bigger group, I just feel that nobody is interested in me, I have nothing meaningful to add to a conversation.

Please speak to your doctor, I was given Pregabalin + Wellbutrin (not avail in UK atm) and that has helped a bit. I have also just started CBT to deal with my issues (GAD, depression, I guess social anxiety as well)

Sending hugs, KaHa79

[LookingForRoots in reply to KaHa79]

Thank you for replying. One of the side effects of my current issues is feeling totally isolated. I appreciate you taking the time.

[Superzob in reply to KaHa79]

Me too. I could hold down a job where I was required to meet different people everyday for business purposes, or speak authoritatively about professional issues to audiences in excess of 100. But I dried up at my son’s engagement party and had a panic attack at someone’s 70th, because they were social occasions where I felt uncomfortable.

But that’s how we are and I deal with it by turning social occasions into business ones. I can’t make idle conversation, so I don’t; but you are both probably like me and good listeners, so there may be some point in the conversation where we can join in. The point is that we do have a purpose and can contribute to society on our own terms - and probably more productively than people who talk incessantly!

[KaHa79]

Would you consider any type of therapy / counselling at all? I think we can get rid of the negative beliefs we have about ourselves deep down, probably we don't even realise how they shape our view of the world. So I am told anyway... Fingers crossed, amazing thing about you plying music! Wow, wow, wow 😍