New to this community -

[AlexisKY]

Hi everyone. It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve been on/written here, but unfortunately I’m finding myself back to this app (which isn’t a bad thing, since all of you are so supportive) a couple years ago, I was going through very heavy, and hard OCD/anxiety episodes. With intrusive thoughts, and my anxiety was just terrible to manage. I’ve done pretty well the last couple of years, and I wasn’t even taking anxiety meds. For whatever reason, about a week or 2 ago, my OCD/anxiety just came back, in full force, for no reason it seems. I’ve been dealing with ROCD mostly, (I’m with my current boyfriend, who I’ve been with about 2 years) and I’ve just been, beating myself up over past mistakes, such as flirting with other guys, etc - even when we weren’t necessarily dating, more so talking. I’ve had to basically sit and “confess” everything I’ve ever done in my life to him, which he’s been super supportive about. He realizes that it’s all in the past, I would NEVER cheat on him, but you guys know how anxiety is, it makes you believe that you’ve done something wrong to someone, so you have to sit and ponder over every little thing you’ve ever done to pretty much anyone. I’ve been having a really time coping with my anxiety and OCD these past 2 weeks. I started taking my anxiety medicine again (half dose) a few days ago, I’ve been taking it everyday. It’s escitalopram) it’s just been very hard to shake these uneasy anxiety feelings, and I’m trying my best to stop thinking of mistakes I’ve made, because I know in my heart i’d never make them again, nor would I purposely hurt him/anyone for that matter. I guess I could just use some encouragement, or reassurance, that this is just a relapse in my anxiety or something, because it’s killing me this time around. I just want to go back to being happy and fine again.. it really sucks. Will I ever truly get better?

[Veteran250]

Hello AlexisKY…… I’m not medically qualified to advise you, just give you my thoughts in no particular order.

You seen to have confessed all to your boyfriend, and he understands I’m sure because he continues to support you…. That’s good!

I can’t say you will get better, because we are all different in our medical problems,

Flirting with other boys is not a big deal, I still flirt with other ladies, even though I’ve been married 30 years, and my wife says men will always be men, that’s what they do…. I guess it’s the same with ladies….. flirting is always fun, so long as you don’t overstep the mark…. Enjoy!

Don’t beat yourself up about what has gone before, your boyfriend knows, forget what has gone before, and look only to the future

Just the thoughts of an old man aged 77.

Take care and stay safe, have a nice day.

Don❤️

[AlexisKY in reply to Veteran250]

Thanks for the reply! I’m mostly beating myself up, over even the thought of that I’ve fantasized about other guys, like coworkers, etc. or have found them/other guys attractive. I know in my heart I’d never do anything with anyone, especially not with my boyfriend, but I’m just obsessing over it, and feeling guilty as if these thoughts are making me feel as if I’ve cheated on my boyfriend. I just don’t understand it