I'm so sorry to be making this kind of desperate-sounding post. I just feel so helpless and hopeless and I don't know what to do.
I've suffered with anxiety in the past but it's flared up again really badly just recently, due to a combination of things. I'm taking Sertraline 50mg, my GP recommended today on a telephone appointment that I should up it to 100mg, but I'm nervous about doing it because I know you can feel worse to begin with following an increase... and I already feel so, so bad.
I'm waiting for a counselling referral (UK NHS) but nothing has happened yet and I know that even after my assessment appointment it will likely be a few more months to wait.
The trouble is that I am just feeling so overwhelmed that I'm struggling to function. I feel tearful and panicky at random points in the day, I'm scared to go outside, I haven't been able to sleep properly for a couple of weeks... I know it sounds overdramatic, but I just feel like I don't even want to be alive any more (although I have no intention to act on that feeling).
Just don't know what to do
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November90
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I wrote near enough the same a couple of months ago. I was so bad I was taking myself up a&e a few times a week and eventually struggled to talk myself out of ending things even though I didn’t want to die (I was actually petrified of panic and anxiety) but I didn’t want to be living how I was I just wanted it to stop. My gp started me on sertraline And I called up the nhs mental health to be put on the list for cbt and was advised to up to 100 mg which sent me even worse and I ended up at a different a&e that have better mental health team and I explained how bad I felt and I had bad thoughts as was so desperate to make it stop.
I was seen straight away by the mental health crisis team who came out to my house the next day and prescribed me with quetiapine night and day and I stopped the sertraline, and things changed for the better immediately. I slept a full night and I hadn’t slept more than 2/3 hours a night for 5 weeks. I was throwing up 10-20 times a day unable to eat etc. That stopped immediately too. I carried on with the medication as prescribed and was brilliant no anxiety symptoms at all and I felt able to live again. Sadly a few weeks later I had a random panic attack and felt like I was going back to square one. I had a few days of constantly palpitations/ nausea and panic but eventually that stopped and I was ok again. I do get them average once a week but I’ve learnt to deal with it much better. They also sped up my cbt waiting time and i started them last week. I take the quetiapine religiously and have 2mg diazepam every now and then for extreme situations. I find if I don’t fall asleep during the drowsy phase then I don’t sleep for hours as I lie in bed racing thoughts and palpitations (tonight is an example) but it no longer controls me. I acknowledge it happens and instead of fighting against it. I let it ride itself out and just shrug and think well I’ll sleep eventually, I’m not in any major discomfort and the next day I wake up ok rather than riddled with anxiety.
Sorry for the long post but honestly I couldn’t see a way out in the summer, I spent my days googling for help, calling up Samaritans at 3 am just to distract me. I lost 2 stone in 6 weeks but there is light at the end of the tunnel I promise.
I’m registered with the crisis team still although I’ve been discharged due to how well I responded to the treatment and my medication is on repeat prescription. Honestly I went to a&e about 15 times because I was sure it was more than anxiety for how bad I felt
I was admitted twice and had to have drips of fluid as so dehydrated and also anti sickness fluids to try and help me eat.
I’m not 100% by any means but I am a lot closer to the old me and I didn’t ever think I could feel normal again but 95% of my week I am happy, fun again and able to work effectively. X
Thank u for the informative post.....I’m feeling much the same as u have explained at the moment, I am struggling to cope, I’m trying hard to get back on track. I’m on mirtazapine and have had my dose increased recently. This forum helps so much x
sertraline generally works well for anxiety, however & unfortunately it does take some time, different for everyone..been taking it for 8 months, didn't notice until about the 6th month that anxiety was better, but depression looms...I hope it works the same, even better for yourself..thx for sharing...
Thank you for the replies, it gives me some help that things might improve. I was better for a little while this afternoon but all evening I've been in panic meltdown mode. I just feel like everything is out of control and dangerous (even if in my logical mind I know that isn't the case) and I feel like I can't keep going like this. I called 111 and got an OOH appointment for tomorrow, I can't see that they'll be able to do anything but I feel like I must try something...
Let us know how the appointment goes. Things will get better, they HAVE to. I know It sounds daft but distraction does help a little when an episode comes. Cos otherwise you will sit and think about the symptoms and they will grow the more you think about them. I downloaded a few games and eventually they help. Also chase up the IAPT waiting times (if that’s what you’ve mentioned about the waiting list) x
I know I can't really add much to what others have written about this... but who knows! Maybe what I say here will really help.
The problem lies in the part that thinks about what will happen. I've been to hell and back, like many, many people. The biggest lesson I've bloody learnt is that it bloody gets OK. No, really. I really HAVE been to hell and back, three or four times. Thinking back, I go... "Man that was weird!" ...and that's all there is to it.
So here goes:
"The trouble is that I am just feeling so overwhelmed that I'm struggling to function."
>>> So I look at the message on my phone that says I need to pay a bill, and well, it's not "normal" like it used to be. I sit down and tell myself I need to pay a bill. Then I ask myself, "OK, what do I need to do?" And I answer myself: "Don't worry. Just log on..." blah blah blah. One thing at a time. And before each thing: "Don't worry. Just do this one thing. Just lift up this from the stove... Problem? No, right? Turn the stove off now... problem? No, right?"
"I'm scared to go outside, ..."
>>> Don't. You're thinking about the non-normality of it. "I'm weird." Sure you are. The guy writing this is, too. Millions of people are. Don't go outside if you don't feel like it.
The guy writing this has had, for two days, a paranoia of eating leftovers. So I'm just staying hungry until the paranoia goes. I'm not buying new food and throwing away the leftovers just so I can feel better—because I won't.
Learn what your weirdness features, and act in the smoothest possible way.
"I haven't been able to sleep properly for a couple of weeks..."
>>>> I'm so sad, yet I'm laughing internally at the same time. Welcome to the world of the awake! I haven't been able to sleep properly for a couple of DECADES. And this is true of millions of people the world round. Just don't worry about it. And yeah, maybe you could try herbal sleep aids.
"I know it sounds overdramatic, but I just feel like I don't even want to be alive any more."
>>>> No it doesn't—and not wanting to be alive any more IS NOT AS RARE AS YOU THINK. You're probably thinking you're one in a hundred or one in a thousand, and that most people love living. That's not true. I can't say exactly how many in a hundred wish their life would end painlessly right now, but the number is definitely more than one.
...And the time you don't feel like being alive might change to a time you love to be alive, or it might alternate, or it might.... blah blah. The point is to realise you're not alone, you're not unique, all you've said is being experienced by hundreds of thousands of people, that it's not "all right" at all but... that it will change.
I am glad that so many have shared their experiences here. Know that you are not alone. I would encourage you to make sure that your GP knows the decision that you make on the Sertraline. If you feel that you don't want to take that dosage, please contact them immediately. They may be able to expedite the help that you can get. Also, as mentioned above, please let us know when your first appointment is.
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Why can't I just be grateful !
can't cope with this 24/7 anxiety.
Can't cope with health anxiety anymore
Why can't i just get rid of this stuff?
