Anxiety about my relationship

[hitbyasegway]

My first boyfriend and I had a very toxic relationship. He was very manipulative and lied to me a lot. He would send me into panic attacks just so he could "be nice" again so he could make himself look like a good guy. My current boyfriend is the opposite. Very honest, loyal, kind and patient with my anxiety. For the past year with him, I haven't had any anxiety regarding him or our relationship. Recently though, I can't stop thinking about his past relationships and if he still has feelings for those girls. He does nothing to make me question his feelings for me, it's all just my anxiety creating things in my head and over thinking. Even though I know this, I can't snap myself out of it. My anxiety over this is becoming crippling. I try to tell myself that what happened before me is the past, me and him are the present and future. Even though I can tell myself that, I can't make myself believe it. Another issue I have, is I know his family absolutely loved one of the ex girlfriends. The one I think about the most. She went to my high school and she is so pretty and had my boyfriend wrapped around her finger up until a few months before he met me. But I can't help but also worry about if his family constantly compares me to her. Do they want him with her instead? Do they actually like me? My anxiety tells me no. He is the best thing to have happened to me and I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin the relationship by sabotaging it to get out, just to get rid of this anxiety. But I don't want to do that because I love him and see a future with him. I just can't shake the over thinking and making things up in my head. This was really long, I'm sorry. If you managed to get through it all, and you have similar issues, please share. It's helpful to know I'm not the only one. Also advice for helping calm my anxiety would help. I am looking for a therapist already and I'm on lexapro. Has been helping up until recently. Thanks in advance

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I'm not a relationship expert, but I'll try to tell you what I think. I really think you should be open and honest how you are feeling in side to him, You said he is a great guy so he would totally understand how you are feeling and reassure you that he only wants and cares about you,not past ex-girlfriends, and I've seen first hand how families can be to much involved in a relationship. But this relationship is about you and him. And if he accepts you then it doesn't matter what others think, I know it's hard trying not to care what others think about you. But like I said This is about you and him. Don't let anybody ruin that,not even families.