Can't shake this feeling

[Canadachic]

I have been dealing with anxiety/panic for at least 10 years now.

Every once in awhile I get these really bad episodes where I can't shake the panic attack and I get multiple because i'm just stuck in the moment of it.

Just like most people that have this I google things and look up things and my panic seems to kick into high gear because now i'm scared to die or that its something more serious then a panic attack. So I rush to the hospital just to be moved along quickly and told its just your anxiety. some how this doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel worse.

I have been on Paxil for pretty much the whole time I been dealing with this, and after my ER visit i requested to be put on Aditvan, so when i'm really stuck in that moment I can take one.

This time im sitting here crying, shaking, numbness, feeling distant, throwing up,racing heart,clammy hands . Why can't I shake this feeling? .. i know what it is but why can't I get myself to understand that.

also my appetite is gone and having a hard time sleeping, when i do drift off i jump up sweaty and confused and start to panic again .. please someone tell me this is all normal!

[Kkimm]

Hi

I really feel for you because at my worst around 2 years ago I was feeling just as you describe. How tough to have had to go through it for 10 years.

Is it worth asking your doctor if you should either add another or change your antidepressant if Paxil is not working well enough for you. Perhaps it is working well alot of the time.

How often do you have these difficult episodes?

Have you ever tried CBT as this is meant to be very effective for anxiety as it helps you to reframe your thoughts and not worry so much?

You may well have done and perhaps it was not helpful for you so apologies if this is the case.

I found that exercise is very helpful, particularly fast walking, dog walking, running short distances, and wild or cold water swimming. I am not particularly fit just try to be active. I also found setting myself challenges everyday and doing it whatever symptoms I had, then relaxing and resting and telling myself I am doing well to even attempt my little goals. Being patient and never letting symptoms or bad days get me down was also very important. All of it easier said than done ofcourse. I tried not to be afraid of the symptoms and tried to believe doctors when they told me it was anxiety.

Anxiety seems to be able to produce every symptom you can think of except perhaps severe pain, unless I am mistaken and it can cause that also. I had to make myself stop googling symptoms and in my case not even read about anxiety or illness in others as my mind seemed to be able to create the symptoms. Then the more scared I got the more symptoms I had and the worse I got. I have certainly been where you are now and I really believe you can beat it even after 10 years.

Do you take any sleep aids if sleeping is difficult?

Again I had just about a carbon copy of what you described and I used over the counter Nytol which is an antihistamine, which we have in the UK, at first. When that was no longer effective I used zopiclone for a few months, which is a sleeping tablet that is on prescription. I was very sparing with it only taking half a tablet a night, because falling asleep was very difficult also, unless I woke in the night for more than half an hour, then took the other half, but never any more as these are also very addictive. I stopped after a few months as the sleep problems went as the anxiety went and I did not find it at all difficult to stop.

In my case after starting antidepressants I was almost myself again after 4 months and feel like I am more or less recovered now.

I am on Velafaxine which I think you call Effexor. People either seem to love or hate it. I have read on accounts from people who have had long standing anxiety issues, that it the only antidepressant that worked for them after trying many. It is extremely difficult to come off for some people apparently so that has to be considered. It seems pretty strong and alot of people feel really bad for the first few weeks or even months on it. I felt much more anxious for a few weeks then started to get the odd good day and eventually started to feel good or even great with regards to mood and anxiety most of the time. I have a few lingering symptoms, mostly slight breathlessness which is worse in the mornings and is eased after doing excercise and often goes completely in the afternoons and evenings. It can also disappear for a few days at a time.

It is an SNRI rather than a SSRI as you may know.

I have read that Ativan and other benzodiazapines can be very addictive and can also be very hard to come off as you probably know but thought I would mention it incase you don't. Being addictive means that some people have to keep upping the dose to get any effect and your body can react with extreme anxiety and other symptoms when you try to cut the dose and this can go on for years.

Although antidepressants are not meant to be addictive they can be very hard to come off and can also cause bad anxiety and other symptoms for years after they come off for some people and Venlafaxine is apparently one of the worst for this. Everything has a cost and in my case I am not planning to try to come off ever unless I have to for health reasons.

I really hope some of this information is helpful to you and anyone else who wishes to read it. I am not a clinician but have learned alot through my own illness which is GAD with some tendency towards health anxiety.

I really hope you are feeling better soon and can find a way to live your life free from anxiety.

Kim