Breaking down my anxiety today.

[Richy626]

Hey all hope u all had a wonderful Christmas!!

So thanks to somebody's help on here. Showing me a letter to do with acceptance and listening to Claire Weekes, I've been trying to do my best to live my life normally.

Today I was going round my nans for boxing day, I had a roughish start woke up feeling very odd but soon calmed down and this feeling left me.

Today I actually observed me getting myself anxious on the way to my nans and I'm very upset with myself right now so I'll explain what actually happens in the hope an outside perspective can help me out.

I was in the car relatively calm, got to a crossroads in the car where I've felt highly anxious at times in the past and I thought to "ah thank goodness I'm not all wound up this time." then a thought came up "oh but what if u do still get wound up now!" started to get anxious, I calmed down again "don't be so stupid ull be fine." then the thought came to mind "but what about if u do get u to a state before u get to nan's?!" more physical anxiety, I calmed down again but then the thought "whenever u do this constantly go up and down inside u always end up getting bad in the end" - bam that one got to me and I started to believe this absolute nonsense again! So easily believed it as well!

I got to my nans and while I was outside I told myself what a load of bullocks it is, I walked inside and said hello and sat down and thought right I'm settled now, then I got a handful of physical symptoms and I lost belief in myself again and vua la the self fulfilling prophecy started to come true yet again.

At. One point when I went out for a cig I missed my sister her husband and nephew leaving to say bye to them and I was like right that's it! I'm not gonna let this nonsense ruin anymore of today! And for a while I calmed down again.

But then it only took a few thoughts of oh this is only temporary determination etc and it got to me again! Now I lost all self belief again where it got to me so quickly!

By the time we were deep into being there I was so anxious about my mind by now that I was frightened as I was talking to my nan that at any point I was gonna say I'm really sorry but I'm freaking out right now while talking about my job to her, that's when my physical anxiety peaked while I was there u think, bad gut full of wind, massive head tension, feelings of not being in reality, not getting involved in the conversations and whenever I tried to put my mind on it felt like I was forcing myself to be myself which made me put even more pressure on myself!

I just can't believe I believe the lies so easily and I give into it so easily! But I always dread feeling absolutely terrible - the end result of it basically!

Why can't I stop being scared of my thoughts even though I know they are a lie?!

Why can't I stop being scared of being scared even though I know it's harmless?!

I'm very down right now with myself, and also how easily I stress myself out over what I know to be ultimately nothing.

Thanks as always for any and all advice and hope u enjoy your boxing days!

[Humankind-BE_BOTH]

Do you have a meditative or breathing exercise to help ground you again?

they can be very effective and even if you don't locking yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes just to journal or as you did here, post is effective as well.

I hope you are feeling better now!!

[Agora1]

Richy, Anxiety is a determined piece of our mind that will always try to scare us

and keep you on alert with the "what if" thoughts. Those thoughts are like punches

to our physical state. Upper right jab, upper left but you keep fighting. You're here

to win. But you can't win while these negative thoughts are not allowing you to think

clearly. Just as you think you might be clear of a thought, another one comes by until

eventually you are defeated and fall down and give up.

The answer is to reverse that defeated mentality. It must start before you even leave

your house. When negativity first starts to surface. You take a slow deep breathe in,

hold and exhale long and slow. Do this several times. You will feel an instant calm physically but your mind will test you again. Rather than getting agitated, yell out loud

"I am going out" "This is my life, you do not control me". And then proceed to leave.

There's something about saying this out loud that can jar your brain to back off.

You get to the car and continue to do deep breathing while you are driving. It's the

long slow exhales that are going to put you back in control. You will actually feel more

at peace as your shoulders will respond by dropping away from your ears. The muscles

will relax. When you get to your destination, anytime a "what if" thought appears, breathe

it away. Slow and Calm. As you are talking with people, do the same.

After much practice Richy, this will become an automatic response to your stress and anxiety. And in it's own way will be a win win situation to Acceptance. x

[Cjonesabq]

You kept going, one step at a time and i think that was very positive. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, i emphasize with your struggle. When i can observe, it is amazing to me how our thinking can lead us down a path of catastrophic thinking and physical symptoms. It happens to me and i am prey to what i call “magical thinking” in that i can just will myself to not be anxious by not ruminating on my thoughts that lead me to be scared. The truth is, i need to keep moving forward, even if i am anxious, one small step at a time, without judging myself. Journaling is something that helps me, even if all i am doing is copying down words from a book or writing “i am safe and ok” a hundred times. It is a distraction that helps to ground me again. CBT therapy and decatastrophizing my thoughts are another technique I employ.

I am writing this in the middle of the night as i have awakened with anxiety, yet this time to write has taken me out of thoughts and helped me. Keep moving forward, one step at a time.

[Richy626]

Thanks for all the advice guys it has helped me hugely to confirm that the way I'm dealing with it works, I've had a few good days and yesterday was a bit rocky as is this morning but I know I'll get back to where I was and learn even more through this "set back".