Klonopin.

[jaderbug]

Hey guys, i haven’t made a post on here in a while but I’d really appreciate some advice right now as i can’t really see the light at the end of my tunnel.

I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant, and my mental health has gone to absolute shreds. I have such awful, debilitating anxiety, which is something i haven’t had in months. I don’t sleep at night for i constantly have fears running through my head, which leads to become sleep deprived and then because of that I think somethings wrong with me. It’s a constant battle back and forth about trying to replace the irrational thoughts in my head with rational ones but i just can’t seem to. I’m completely lost, I thought about going to a behavioral health hospital but I’m afraid that it’ll look really bad if i do because i am pregnant. i know it’s the best option for me, but i also want it to be the best option for my baby.

My OBGYN switched me from cymbalta to exeffor, and i miss the cymbalta, honestly. It didn’t really take away my anxiety but I noticed i was able to rationalize better and be able to convince myself everything is fine and most of the time i would believe it. Being on exeffor has not done one single thing for me, i feel like i’m not even on meds anymore.

Also, because of my severe anxiety and panic attacks, my OBGYN and an OBGYN specialist wants me to stay on klonopin which gives me a lot of fears.

I just feel completely awful because I know that Klonopin really is the only thing that provides me relief and makes me feel like a normal person. I’m not constantly checking to see if i’m having a stroke or paying attention to the right chest and thinking it’s a heart attack. i feel like i’m myself again. and i absolutely hate that i’m like that. i haven’t taken any in weeks (luckily i can’t take it for months at a time and stop immediately with no withdrawals) and i really wanna hold off as long as possible until it becomes unbearable. but the fear of going on vacation terrifies me, which my family does a lot around the holidays, because i’m afraid i won’t be able to sleep if i’m not in my bed and i will have to take klonopin.

i’ve read self help books such as hope and help for you nerves by dr. claire weeks and dare. i also have read a lot of mental health through will-training by dr. abraham low, and it used to really help. now all the sudden i’m so afraid of their tactics because i’m worried that if i don’t worry about the physical sensations in my body something really bad is gonna happen to me and it’s gonna be so bad that i’ll be unlovable and my boyfriend won’t be able to handle me, or it’ll affect the way i’m able to parent my child.

I guess my biggest fear is — what if i have to stay on klonopin forever? what if it becomes so bad that i can’t function without it? am i the only one that feels this way?

[Christory77]

It’s dedinitely okay to ask questions, and have concerns. The thing about what if’s is they will constantly evolve. The more you focus on them the more they manifest. Step 1 is being ok with the what if. For instance. What if you’re on Klonopin forever? Answer, oh well be content with the relief it brings you and the fact that it is doing what it’s intended to do. I’ve found the only way to get through anxiety is to be ok with the What if’s. Just tweak your thought process a little when it comes to those and you will see growth.

[Bluebaja in reply to Christory77]

That was good advice and it addressed my current state too. Thanks 77.

[b1b1b1]

I don't think going to a behavioral health class would make you look bad, even though you are pregnant. Further, if you are pregnant and so anxious, don't go on vacation with your family.