Anxiety/depression/ptsd?

[Cd350]

Hi. New to this, but thought I'd give it a shot. I'm an anxiety and sufferer for years now. Here recently, I am out of a bad relationship. Mental and emotional abuse. Sometimes physical. I knew something was wrong when anger took a toll on me. I literally couldn't stand being around the person anymore. Anything he said ticked me off and the anger just kept gettin to me. It got to the point where I'd have dreams of violence and I could feel the anger in the dream. I'd wake up instantly(usually very early in the morning ) and the anger would just sit on me for hours it seemed. After the anger subsided, I'd just go numb. Throughout the days, my anger, sadness, and numbness would fluctuate and I'd get extremely low moods in between. Some mornings I'd just wake up early and feel nothing in my head. Not even the sensation to sleep, knowing I hadn't got proper rest. My thoughts are racing when I get up and I'm usually in a state of panic. This has gone on since July that I can recall and now I just feel empty and panicky. I constantly worry that I've lost my mind or it'll never function the same. I have this obsession to diagnose myself, and I've conclude ptsd, bipolar depression, generalized anxiety.... I fear having something as schizophrenia or psychosis, but my mind has convinced me that I've gone insane. Yet, my actions are logical. No one notice that I'm suffering. I can smile some days and feel terrible in my head. I feel like a walking dead man at times. My thoughts scare me time to time and I know I need help. Every mental health issue I read upon, I find a symptom thst I have a relate that diagnosis to myself. Lol. I basically think I have everything in the DSM-5. I'm obsessed with the idea of seeing something that might be there. Not that I'm seeing things, but how am I prepping myself to just up and see something that don't exist. I guess Hypervigilant? I also have weird sensations in my head. Usually numbness to where I can't feel sensation in my scalp or forehead or just prickly feelings running across my head. Sometimes my body will itch accompanied by heat. It's really weird. Give me feedback, please!

[erica2017]

I thknk you should go seek medical advice from a doctor and a therapist, before you assume the worse good luck i will be praying for you....

[Cd350 in reply to erica2017]

Yea, I agree. I'm arranging thst and hopefully I can see someone soon. Thank you!

[erica2017 in reply to Cd350]

Great do it soon and keep in touch praying that you find peace

[Hidden]

Hi Cd350 and welcome to the group!

As you said, you are experiencing a full range of symptoms. I'm certainly not a doctor but a few of the symptoms that you describe scream rapid cycling moods.

I can certainly relate to smiling but feeling like crap inside. The anxiety and anger are familiar as well. The mind has the power to take us places that no one should go.

Reading articles on the Internet and reading my beloved DSM-5 can cause anyone to fear the worst. I have done it too many times. It is much better to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist so that you can have a complete evaluation. If you are like me, your anxiety kicks in at the very thought of seeing a professional.

I struggled with bipolar, anxiety, and ptsd for most of my life. I finally made the decision to see a doctor a few months ago, and I'm very glad I did. It changed my life. I know you want the same for yourself.

Blessings my friend!

[Cd350 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the advice and understanding. And yes, the more I learn about a particular disorder, I find a way to relate it to myself. Creating a new anxiety within myself.