Advice

[Living17]

So I’ve had strong words with my partner the man who don’t support me when he’s the only one a need to we have to terms that he’s guna do counselling for me as he’s admitted he’s stressed with work and coming home to me who’s always down

[Claire1992]

Hi, I would like to start off by saying I am definitely no expert on this subject...

The situation you are in would be very hard, I definitely feel for you.

That is wonderful that he had agreed to undergo counseling! That’s a huge step in the right direction and it goes to show he really wants to make it work, instead of just giving up.

Again I am no expert on this subject and this may be tough to take but if you have decided to stay with him and give it everything you have, you have to see the good in him, again the fact he is willing to go to counseling is a great first step.

Also I’d like to point out that I’m definitely not picking sides in this. I would like to help as much as I can.

Some people say a relationship involves give and take, I actually disagree with this. It’s ALL about giving to each other. We all know men and women think differently. A women needs to feel loved and safe. A man needs to feel love and is the protector. Even if the man isn’t currently a protector, he definitely has it in him and sometimes it takes a women to bring out the best in him. The man needs encouragement and support, that’s how they grow. It’s all about team.

You must be patient with each other and never take it for granted. And definitely both learn to appreciate each other.

It might be a good idea to ask him out on a date, even if you cannot find a babysitter or cannot afford much, have a date at home. Dinner and a movie once your child has gone to bed. A good relationship is built on a strong sure friendship. You need to spend time with each other, away from household or family chat. Be friends first, the partners second.

From personal experience, when I am down and stressed out it really helps me to find someone to help. Even if it’s purely for selfish reasons, to just distract me from my own problems it really helps and can be very rewarding. This could be a way you can do the same. If you are both able to work on it and appreciate each other for what you each do you are going to look back and see how far you have come!

Believe me when I say you have already come along way by seeing there’s a problem and both willing to fix it!

Again, I’m not expert and this is just my opinion on the matter purely based from my past experiences. You definitely don’t have to heed my advice. I do wish you all the best though! 💐

[Living17 in reply to Claire1992]

Thanks for your support I do appreciate everything you say. And yes before I fell pregnant with our son we had a fantastic realationship we were always going out having cosy nights in. Going to friends together. But now it’s like there’s no interest it’s as though my son has come in the way of us 2. Wich I wouldn’t change for the world he’s amazing he’ makes me smile I love him to bits. And Andrew my partner is great with him we don’t have much sexual contact wich ain’t normal for someone who is ment to love one bother I’ve tried my hardest to do everything possible to understand what his problem really is. He has different mood changes wich I understand is normal but there just is no connection from him to me no more. I don’t know a just wish he would open up to me it’s like he keeps everything to his self xx