So today for the most part was fine except for a couple hours ago where the glooming thought that I'm dying came up in my mind.
I am planning to go support some of my friends at a local talent show November 11th, ten there's Christmas (which most years I'm absolutely pumped for, but getting excited this year has been a real struggle), then there's new years and I have a theater performance to do in April 2018 and every time I get excited and go to plan to do these things, Its like there is an echo repeating over and over again that I'm dying and wont live to see these days.
And the most difficult part about this whole things is that I'm literally so healthy.
.
.
One minute I'm great and living life, then the next I'm absolutely convinced dying.
Like I dont think you get it. I legit feel like this time its not anxiety, im actually dying for real.
I also feel like I need to cry, but I honestly don't know how.
My mind is also a mess, I feel like I can't focus on one thing.
Sigh.
Its just a lot.