take a listen.

[errivbr4678778]

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this songs basically how i feel everyday. if i never make it out of this horrible circle that im in that makes me want to end things every day, then im grateful for everything everyones done on here for me, all them nights i didnt see myself making. you're all the reason why im still here. and a big shout out to agora1 on this forum, shes amazing...shes stuck with me throughout most days! if there were more people like her in the world the world would definitely be a better place.

[Agora1]

errivbr, quite a song. I see how this can fit how you feel but it is a downer song. Not a good idea in your state of mind. It's realistically sad for someone going through depression and fear of fear. Try finding a more positive, uplifting song to alternate with. "Paralyzed" is like adding more negative thoughts to the ones that already are there in your mind.

I will say, it was a power song brought tears of sadness to my eyes that anyone could feel that way.

[Jeff1943]

Yes, Elliot, Agora1 is a very special person. I want to say to you that you will recover from these bad feelings, the sun will shine again. The problem is that your nervous system has become over-sensitised and it exaggerates all your little worries into big worries and produces symptoms that are likephysical illness but aren't physical they are your nerves playing tricks on you.

You've probably read me saying this to dozens of other people but I've never said it to you, I don't know whether you read much and are into books, I know a lot of younger people aren't, but I know you're as clever asanybody else and I honestly believe that you would hugely benefit from reading that book I keep droning on about 'Self help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes, reading that book really will bring you understanding, reassurance and a plan for recovery. Don"t just think that books can't helpyou, this one can. You can order a second hand copy from Amazon for a couple of quid and if you're a bit light on spare change I've got a spare copy you can have and I'll send it to you if you personal message an address for me to send it to.

Why not do it, what's to lose, anything is worth trying to shift the bad feelings and those missed heartbeats. If you don't want to read it that's o.k. but don't say no just because you think books aren't for you, your brain is as good as anybidy else's and maybe better than most so think about it please.