Found out my dad is not my biological father.

[Need-hope]

I'm 30. At 28 I found out my dad is not my biological father. About 4 months after finding this out all these physical symptoms started.

The man who I thought was my dad does not know he is not my dad. (Did dna test with other man) The worry I carry about with me about him finding out kills me and the guilt I feel about not telling him kills me. But I don't feel it is my responsibility. My mother told me if he ever found out he would kill her.

This is ruining my life. I have children and cannot be a good mother to them anymore because of my physical symptoms.

I don't know what to do.

My "dad" left me when I was a baby. We are not close but he has been in and out my life. Deep down I love him and I'm heartbroken.

[Hidden]

Hello, and I am going to shoot straight from the hip. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. You say you feel guilty no matter if you tell or if you do not. That's your luxury. But by focusing on it, you are causing yourself emotional problems and that prevents you from being a good mother. So I feel it's a luxury you can't afford...let go of it.

I agree that it is not your responsibility and maybe not your right to do so.

If you were the one to have the DNA done, I think you DO have a responsibility to step back and be quiet. There's nothing to gain by spilling the beans, and lot to lose if you do....like your mother's life or well being. Look what guilt you'd be carrying if that happened.

And not all DNA tests are totally reliable.....

You're old enough to keep a family together by not saying anything.

Most families know things that are never discussed because the damage would undoable. Elephants in the room often fade with time.

Live your life to its fullest. Look forward. Tend to your children, you lucky woman. That's where your responsibility lies.