I just want to feel like me again

[gemp54]

hi all,

there isn't much point to this post to be honest but I'm having a really tough time of it at the moment and I just wanted to speak to someone that understands. I've had health anxiety a bit as long as I can remember but its been really bad these last few years since I had my kids. Over the last few years I've had genuine health problems but nothing horrendous. the problem is that as soon as I have symptoms of something I manage to convince myself I'm dying. At the moment I've been having an on and off sore throat and hoarse voice for a few months. This last month I'm also getting and irritating kind of burning feeling in my upper chest that comes and goes. I'm also really tired although some days I feel fine. I've seen a doctor who has put me on omeprazole tablets for acid reflux (both my dad.and brother have this do maybe it runs in the family?) but after 3weeks I still haven't had much improvement. The doctor wanted me to do a 2month course and see if it helped so I know I'm not yet half way through but I was really hoping to see a big improvement by now. As always my mind keeps going back to thinking this is something horrendous. I was starting to feel a little better (both with the symptoms and mentally) then made the mistake of posting on another website on an acid reflux board. I was only asking about anything else I could do to help (diet etc) and someone very well meaning said if I haven't been to a doctors already I should speak to a doctor because although unlikely my symptoms could be 'something more ominous'. I know I'm only 31 and I've already seen a doctor but now I'm completely panicking. I've just been on a weeks holiday with my family and it should.have been wonderful but I spent the whole time worrying and withdrawn. I feel like I cant be a good mother or wife when I'm like this and I don't seem to get joy out of anything in my life right now. I'm also exhausted most of the time. I don't have insomnia or anything like that but having started to use a fitbit to track my sleep it does look like on average I'm restless or awake (even though I'm not always aware of it) at least 20 or so times a night so it looks like my quality of sleep I pretty rubbish.

sorry for rant but no-one else I know gets what I'm going through and just treats me like I'm deliberately being miserable which makes me feel even worse.

xx

[Alun001]

Hi Gemp54,

It's good to vent so no apology needed.

The thing is, your vulnerable at the moment, and you may well be hyper sensitive. Unless anyone says they are a medical health professional don't take their views to heart. They don't know you, or examined you or know your history, so generally view whatever opinion they have as just that, an opinion. It's good to ask for help and advice, but remember, asking for it does not mean you have to accept it!.

Your right you've not had enough time on the meds yet. Stress will slow your emotional progress as will impatience, and so will giving to much power to your negative thoughts. You've seen the doc, got the meds, and now its time to be patient, and to be kind to yourself. in heightened awareness the mind runs riot, remember you have not always been like this, you have learned to be this way, some how and for some reason, and the great thing is if you have learned one way of thinking you can learn another, but it will take some time.

In the meantime, let the meds do their work, you take part in your own healing by being gentle to yourself, and resting as much as you can, getting plenty of rest and eating real food. Taking part in your own healing is a great feeling, and encourages us to do more of the same.

Peace!