So, I could use a place for support and a place to run through everything. I guess I'll start with a few years back I moved to a new state and developed bad allergies. I mean sneezing twenty times in a row multiple times a day. Some weeks were worse than others but generally it was just annoying and not too bad. Sometime in the last year those allergies flew off the charts and got exceedingly worse. I have one kitty (a short-haired orange tabby) I've had for two years. Back in October of 2015 I decided my kitty needed a new companion. So, I got a long-haired beautiful calico. About the same time the weather changed and my allergies tanked. I ended up going to the doctor with my boyfriend who got sick. The doctor noticed I had the sniffles and sneezing and assumed I was sick as well.
I told her that it was just bad allergies and she recommended I get an allergy shot. I thought that was cool and when I got paid again or when I thought it was serious I would go back and get one since I don't have insurance. Well, all of a sudden in February this year, my throat got tight. I assumed it was bad allergies and something was making it difficult to breathe. It was annoying but not life threatening, so I ignored it. One day at work, I showed up for my shift with my throat feeling tight and having a little trouble breathing. I asked if the staff had bendryl and told them what my issue was but they didn't have any. So I just stuck the day out. A few hours later I was standing around (not exerting myself) when my throat all of a sudden closed and I couldn't breathe. I saw spots in my vision and I went into a coughing fit and ended up vomiting because of how hard I was coughing. Luckily a coworker recognized the symptoms and assumed I was having an asthma attack. She ran to get her inhaler and it worked! My throat loosened and I was able to breathe again. She asked me how long I had been asthmatic and I told her activity induced since middle school but I hadn't had any attacks since 7 years ago, maybe.
My boyfriend took my to Urgent Care and the doctor didn't run any tests. She gave me an allergy shot and prescribed a rescue inhaler. I continued to have trouble breathing for the next 24 hours I also had a sevre reaction to the shot. My feet felt like they were on fire and itched so bad that they felt raw the next day. I was dragging them on the carpet for relief. Taking showers constantly and rubbing lotion on them to get it to go away. Nothing helped. I had another attack that night even after taking 3 benadryls. Nothing worked. I tried my inhaler 3 times in a few hours and that didn't seem to really help either. My boyfriend rushed me to the ER when I got light headed. I even collapsed on teh kitchen floor unable to walk to the car. The ER was a joke. I went in they asked me tons of questions and took my vitals while I wheezed the entire time. They told me my lungs were fine and I sounded great. I was wheezing from my throat not my lungs. I told them I felt lightheaded and collapsed on the bed, but the doctor just kept talking to me and telling me that the doctor did the right thing giving me an inhaler and allergy hot. He told me he didn't know what else to do for me and told me to go home and drink water and take two more benadryl on top of the 4 I had already taken.
Somehow I got through the night and after a few days the itching and burning sensations went away. I went back to my doctor after having another attack a week later at work. She ran some blood work tests and took an xray and told me my lungs were perfect and fine. Nothing out of the ordinary in my blood work so she didn't think it was an allergy. After ruling out allergy, she narrowed my symtptoms to panic attacks or asthma. She really believed it was asthma, so she prescribed me QVAR and another rescue inhaler to have an extra inhaler. I told her I didn't believe it was asthma because I didn't have chest pain or issues breathing in my bronchial tubes or lungs. I kept telling her that for weeks I had had swollenness in my throat. I didn't use the right terminology because what IReally meant to say was tightness but couldn't decribe the feeling of it closing up. Asthma is more in the chest and lungs and bronchial tubes, not in the throat which explains why the inhaler works sometimes and not all the time. I've been on QVAR for 3 months now and I'm not sure if it's helping because I'm not sure I have asthma. I also lost my job last month so I don't have the money to go back to the hospital for a second opinion yet. But I have had "almost" attacks. Like I feel them coming and rush to my inhaler when I know I'm having issues. Sometimes the inhaler works, and sometimes (like today) it doesn't open my throat back up.
I've been thinking that it's anxiety. I don't know why I've all of a sudden developed anxiety or panic disorder, but I do know that I've suffered from panic attacks when I Was younger they were just different back then. I did notice that whenever I stress out my throat gets tight. I hate it. I wish it would stop and I would go back to normal. Like the days when I stressed out without throat tightness. It sucks and it frustrates me. Whenever I think about it the tightness comes back. And it's not in my head like my doctor thinks. She thinks it's just a throat sensation and will go away and is in my head. But it's actually tightness that causes it to close up and I can't breathe. That's a physcial symptom. It's so frustrating. I know that when I force myself to relax or quit thinking about it it eventually goes away. When I was on prednisone it also went away and it was glorious! I need a second opinion from a different doctor or to go back to my other doctor and explain what's going on. I don't think I have asthma. I think it's panic attacks. I juts don't know how to cope with the anxiety and stress and make the throat tightness go away. The attacks leave me wrung out, tired, and sick feeling. The tightness in my throat makes me feel like I have to constantly burp or cough. Sometimes it induces nausea and leads to vomiting which makes me feel even worse.
I've had two occassions where I felt like I had an acid reflux issue, because right after I ate, my throat got tight and then made me feel extremely bloated, like sick bloated but I couldn't burp or fart or anything to make it go away. So I thought that maybe if I induce vomiting, the issue will resolve itself and I'll feel better. The first time I did that it seemed to have more or less worked. I felt better, if not a little sick to my stomach from the wretching. The second time was a few days ago. I induced vomiting again, but it didn't help. I just felt nauseous for the rest of the day until I got food back into my stomach and fluids back in my system. The tightness in my throat went away the first time but not the second.
So what's going on with me?? I've been having issues for months, and I just want to be normal again. 
It's wreaking havoc on my confidence and making me feel like I can't do certain activities or maing me confused because I don't know how to treat it because I don't know what it is, but I'm still taking the QVAR everyday and rescue inhaler as needed. I'm almost out of QVAR. I just want to be normal again. How can I treat anxiety when I don't have the money to go to a doctor for medicine?? If you don't think it's anxiety, what else could it be?
Anxiety or something else?
Just want to feel normal again
Is my anxiety back or is it something else?
I never want to feel that bad again!
I just want to be myself again
