All over

[Shell04]

Hi I'm back on here my old name was shell help me , well I am 38 weeks pregnant and I really don't know how I'm feeling I'm feeling very lost alone no more I'm not feeling joyous and excited haven't for quite a long time enjoy this pregnancy at all not with babies father and doing so much on my own not sure if it's depression baby thyroid starting or what it could be anxious about the labour but I don't feel like I should feel I've been very much a loan for the pregnancy have had no want to talk to support me very sad got no friends and no not had any joyous times going baby shopping and having anybody here for me so I'm not sure just very scared and worried I want bond with baby when he is born feel alone and left no love

[Hidden]

Hello

All what we see on the TV , facebook pages etc gives the impression that when we are having a baby we should be just resemble all these perfect images and it is not always the case and because we don't it does not mean anything is wrong neither does it mean that you will not bond with the baby when he/she arrives , how you feel can be perfectly normal for some yet once the baby comes it can be totally different

Remember you hormones will be all over the place this really does affect us , also sounds like you have been having a tough time with your partner again this will have had a big impact on how you are feeling all adds to our emotions

Have you spoken to your midwife about how you feel , I know we can sometimes think people will think we are not very nice to think this way or at least we worry that is what they will think but they don't as this is something they hear often and they can support you which you really do need

Again I know you OH does not seem to be giving you the support you need and I understand as I can do this myself shut of to everyone just because one person is upsetting me but it is the worse thing you can do , those that you know want to be there for you talk to them , let them care and give you the support you deserve even if you don't feel like it

Be kind to yourself you deserve it

Take Care x

[Shell04 in reply to Hidden]

Yes thank you so much it's just this is baby number four for me and I'm 35 years old I've got three wonderful children and I've always felt amazing in all my pretences I just feel that the way things have turned out life relationships have done a lot of damage to my emotions and I have cried every single day of this pregnancy and I have had but I am a mother that looks after my children I don't smoke drink go out socialising with friends I don't do anything like that my pleasure is cleaning the house into my children putting them first likely always have I just wish I had someone here to put me 1st to make me feel good and just put a smile on my face and be very supportive mentally emotionally physically that what I need right now

[Hidden in reply to Shell04]

I totally understand

I now have 3 grown up Children who when they are small you give so much to them but you do look round and wonder and crave some emotionally support back which is normal

I was also like you dedicated everything to the kids and the house but looking back I realized now and again I should have treated myself even if it was just putting a few hours once a week to socialize pamper myself anything because I just gave my all to them and when I looked round no one was there for me but putting aside partners I had neglected my friends people that did care but as much as they cared they had their life's and me saying no all the time to any suggestions they eventually and understandably moved on

I suppose you have told your OH how you feel ?

Maybe in the future if things don't improve you will have to ask yourself is this relationship benefiting you or dragging you down more , I would wait till after the baby arrives and you hormones have settled down but once you have had this baby and everything has settled I think it might be time to have a good look at your life and start to put yourself first

Start now by even if it is just 30 mins a day do something for you , even if it is shutting yourself away and having a nice relaxing bath , it actually can help the little things like that in making you feel worthy because you are x

[Shell04 in reply to Hidden]

Yes thank you I totally agree and understand I don't have any friends I just have my mum and sister and my children I have friends I can't like to see you sometimes which are from nursery with my little boy goes this is one lady that I speak to and she brings her little boy here and we have a coffee and a chat but I know a lot of it emotions are yeah completely all over the place at the moment and to be in 38 weeks plus pregnant it's you know very touch and go when they will come which I've never gone into labour spontaneously I've always been induced so that's a little anxiety emotion and yeah just mean I like to put my feet up with a cuppa tea I like to write little notes in my diary I like to read a good magazine or a book I like a nice long hot soak in the bath which I've been doing every day Just feel very much cut-off from everything else really likes I don't have friends and a lot of mine who are used to know that and I don't know anymore like to drink maybe do drugs and live their life their way which I understand if that's all they want to live their life Brown not one for getting drunk I'm not one for making a show of myself just feel i'm so hoping that when baby comes my hormones will settle and go back to normal and nice again and get me thinking normal again so fingers crossed thank you for all your kind words

[denvajade]

You are having a hard time coping at the moment and it sad not having the support of your other half, but this can be quite common for men, they too can have anxiety about being responsible for another person. Can I encourage you to try and find pleasure in these last few weeks of your pregnancy, talk to your little baby, listen to some lovely soothing music and if you can start to put things together ready for his/her arrival, make small plans and have lots of rest. All of us on here will wait with baited breath to hear about the arrival of your baby, how big it is, what you call it etc we all wish you well. Xx

[Shell04 in reply to denvajade]

Thank you yes I am no not been with the baby's father for quite a long time we got together in March April last year again tried relationship once again dreadful baby and then we split up and got back together all the six week holidays we wasn't together and then we got back together for two weeks and it is completely cut off he's changed his phone number it doesn't come and see use of the little boy didn't come and see him on his birthday or come and see him on Christmas is just completely cut off from me and his two little baby boys as I'm having a boy so it's very very sad that he's done this and all the praying and wishing I do doesn't make you come to the door and for me it would show that he had caring loving his body for me his children I can't runaround after him I am the one with the children but yes I will keep everybody posted not long now there is only a week to go to hospital this week for final check up on Skype I want to enjoy it more than anything and I hope I can bond with the baby and have all the feelings I have from my of the children I just feel because I'm not with babies father any more that the love and everything has just it's just completely cut me off a little bit it's made me very I feel anger and pain more than anything and upset and emotions I've done nothing but cry every day because all I want is in here to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay

[Tanya16]

I was the same as u with my last it was my fifth all I kept thinking of was dying during labour is it going to hurt etc and let me tell u something it was so straight forward I loved it it's hard to tell a pregnant woman who is anxious to relax I no as I've just had my fifth son xx

[Shell04 in reply to Tanya16]

Thank you yeh I so hope for a nice delivery and to have my body back and obviously to see my feet would be nice also just been really tough the last six months little boy is not well at the moment he's got hand foot and mouth had to get my daughter picked up today from school as she got something in Orion science so I'm just feeling very much alone and that everything is going wrong cooker I had before Christmas was letting of carbon monoxide poisoning which would be claps and the all my children had to go to hospital I'm just really feeling badly done to at the moment and very much alone and then when I'm shouting my mum is very understanding and realising that you know I'm anxious hormonal worried stressed feeling very much alone nesting cleaning scrubbing and what I do for someone else is just babysitting my head and do it all for me right nowhad to go to hospital so I'm just really

[Tanya16 in reply to Shell04]

Or bless you everything will come to an end and be back to normal for you. That's awful I really feel for you lovely were u from ? Xx

[Shell04 in reply to Tanya16]

Doncaster, my ex partner Joey as completely cut of from us no phone calls no help no nothing

[Tanya16 in reply to Shell04]

That's so sad he's not a man Hun by the sounds of him that's horrible for u what a shame xx

[Shell04 in reply to Tanya16]

We been together since 2006 has a little boy in 2011 , but very up down then got back in August last year after been apart for 18 months he very up down moods etc was always accusing me of men witch am so not like that so split Xmas 2014 after having a miscarriage he didn't understand how hard that was for me then we got back in late feb last year I was so happy the happiest I've ever been we n he said wanted a another baby so we tryed and bang it happens from the moment I found out I was just not the same at all my moods low upset felt low n never felt well n always tired again just not understanding at all and very tough for me Then we split up in the six week holidays I went to stay with him with my children and our little boy And was looking forward too moving in all together as a proper family but he seemed to be not wirh me and something else on his mind we split and then I was so alone ten got back in Sep / oct then only two weeks it was over

[wentworth67]

Hi don't give him anymore chances if he makes you feel like that what man ignores there own children that makes my blood boil as the saying goes it takes two do take care and I'm not far from Doncaster love Paula xx

[Tanya16]

Your so true Paula hit the nail on the head men eh why o why are some men like that makes me sick x

[Shell04]

Yeh he as other kids and not bothered with his baby boys at all Joey Bradley so there you go

[Tanya16 in reply to Shell04]

He's an arse hole simple as that's me swearing u deserve better and will get better how old is he xx

[Shell04 in reply to Tanya16]

53 X Joey Bradley from Doncaster

[Tanya16]

Sounds to me as if he needs to grow some balls lol x

[Shell04 in reply to Tanya16]

And a Heart ! Am 35

[wentworth67]

Cherish your children don't bad mouth there so called dad and if when they are older they will see him for what he really is then he will be sorry stay strong and enjoy every minute you have with your family it will get better take it from me I've been at rock bottom love Paula xxx

[Shell04 in reply to wentworth67]

Thanks but am so angry and he helps his other exs ! They have new cars he paid for there homes n all they have I cant even get him to see his kids n spend time or biy them clothes n shoes but that's ja for kind works X emotional # baby due # tired # kids ill ,

[Tanya16]

Ye and heart must be so hard for u and how old are u lol you will get better u deserve it you've been through a lot by the sounds I'm from Middlesbrough my pet we h e been with 12 year he's a waste of time he's a gambler he gets me down but j love him it's hard I want him to leave me so j can have a life x

[Tanya16]

Ever need to text she'll for talk 07498647844 x

[Shell04 in reply to Tanya16]

Thanks

[wentworth67]

Let him buy his ex stuff you can't put a price on love and hopefully when you hold your new baby son in your arms all this pain you are feeling will be gone I no you will be feeling all emotional but channel it into your children and you will soon be happy again and show him you don't need him I'd sooner have a happy life with out him and his money xxx

[Shell04 in reply to wentworth67]

Yeh I do love me kids so much and we can't take money wirh us wen we part from Earth just don't like selfish men !!!

[wentworth67]

exactly just take it easy you need all you energy for that new baby it's hard work I no I've raised six children and now I'm onto my grandchildren I love it message me anytime you like I will get back to you love Paula xxx

[Shell04 in reply to wentworth67]

Yeh thanks so much for kindness, just had a nice bath with lush bath bomb and now time for a cuppa n bit of choc , n unwind or try !