inner child

[Blackout4]

hello, I am new to groups like this. I am 48 and have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was really young. Had a rough childhood( not like some , but hard). I can not seem to let go of the feelings and thoughts that my family instilled in me. Things I have a hard time feeling maybe are true.

[AnxiousSilver]

Welcome to this site.

For what it's worth, I'm 48 too, and I was bullied hard as a kid.

I suffer from anxiety and depression as well.

.

But this is a good and supportive website, filled with good people here.

Take some time, and read though some of the posts, it's a good and supportive community.

[Bekindtoyou]

Hi, holding on to feelings from the past is not healthy, especially for you.If you're not able to talk to your family about how you feel then maybe a first step would be to write a letter - you don't have to send it but writing it down will help you to acknowledge exactly what you want to say and will help you keep to the point. Limit yourself to just 2 sides of paper otherwise you run the risk of just ranting and people tend to just switch off if they feel that's happening.

Acknowledging the feelings yourself is a good start.

When you have written your letter put it somewhere safe and leave it for a day or two.

When you feel ready to address the letter again re-read it. Make adjustments but don't make it any longer. Clarifying your feelings helps others to understand your perspective better. When you have done this put it away again for a few days.

The next step (a few days later) would be to get the letter out again and this time when you re-read it try to identify exactly what it is you want to achieve - perhaps its their acknowledgement or apology that you are after. Maybe it's something else.

When you have identified what you want to achieve write it down.

Now you could write another letter, one that identifies the issues and what you want to achieve from addressing it. This letter could be 3 pages long but no longer. People like to read what can be done about an issue rather than just being made to feel they have done wrong.

I'm not suggesting this will solve your problems but merely helping you to be specific about what it is you want and in doing it this way you are offering them the chance to make it right. Things may not even turn out the way you want them to but at least you will have tried.

[Ryanlion]

I very much doubt what your family instilled in you was true, many parents were dysfunctional back then and many are still. I had a tough childhood & I've engaged with a therapist who is helping me see the truth. Could you see a therapist who could help you. Most of our hurt comes from the inner child. Bring her out into the light and set her free. This will take time and bring up long held feelings. Good luck one step at a time.

[Blackout4 in reply to Ryanlion]

I am looking into it, and thank you! best wishes on your mental health journey.