First time user of this group, I’ve suffered with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder since my early teens and now as a 30 year old adult I am better managing, but wondering how to feel totally normal… My mental health history started abruptly one day out of the blue with an all encompassing panic attack to which I took as that I was dying… After that, the anxiety has stayed, at pretty significant levels 7/10 most days with bought’s of panic attacks leaving me feeling surreal and that I was orbiting on a whole different planet, or just not real at all. Shortly after the first panic attack came a deep depression and it’s been back and forth with combinations of both for over 16 years.
I took Effexor for a short time and stopped when I was 16 due to side effects. After I had my first child at age 23 I started on pristiq and found I was barely surviving, my MD switched me to Prozac which I am on now, and have found good effects but still suffering with symptoms at times. I am definitely much happier, but then my anxiety kicks in and says “Hey, what if this is mania or psychosis setting in”? I also received a psych consult shortly after my switch to Prozac where they had felt I had atypical depression, complex PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder and emotional eating disorder.
So, here I am today.. wondering if I’ll be dragged back into the dark depths and not be able to swim out … instead of enjoying my better mental health, I worry it’s a hoax or maybe a cruel joke , and that I’ll never truly be “normal”.
Also to add, I am a successful working professional who is married to with children, I struggle with imposter syndrome too, some days I’m fine … other days feel like the end of the world.
Thanks for reading this far and offering any insight or experiences.