Leaving home in 2 hours to move out

[Against_the_current]

I'm scared. I will be leaving in like 2 hours to go to my accomodation and i'm having a training for my volunteering Tommorrow there. And i'm scared of traveling. Scared of how sis will cope. Scared of how i will cope - on top of all the other bs my roommates are making a party tonight (it's not for me, they just make parties i hate, That's why i came back to my stressful home, i'm scared of so much people there and i'm really inadequate there. I'm more of a houseplant than a guest. I think i better stay in my room. Nobody wants to see me anyway. I don't think anyone there likes me. I don't fit it. Even the plants fit better than me. I will just stay in my room because i'm tired of traveling and will have education the morning. I'm just torn between "should i be a good cohost and see the guess or should i stay in my cave like the orc i am and because nobody there cares about me and nobody likes me and i'm socially anxious). I'm scared of the traveling and whether dad removed the baby chair. I'm worried whether sis will travel with us, she's tired. I'm gonna miss her so much. I'm scared she would change until i Come back (last time she got a septum piersing) and i'm scared she will grow, get more independent and won't like to play with me anymore and need me anymore. I'm scared of how mom will Treat her. My head hurts. I'm sure i will get a panic attack in the road but i don't show it, i just sit there, dying from anxiety, hoping to get to my messy little full of my unorganised garbage room fast. This cave of mine is somehow depression, it would be nice If i could go to the living room where there's a tv and more space and air but i can't If they're there. Also i'm agoraphobic of the city. Walks won't calm me like they do here. And just going to the supermarket terrifies me, just imagining going to the supermarket terrifies me.

[Creo]

hi,we have a lot in common.

now that I moved out i am the same person living on my own. As years go by, I've accepted that this is me. I started being honest with important people about what to expect from me. Important people are those who are not trying to change me.

[Against_the_current in reply to Creo]

Hi. Thanks for reaching out, i'm really scared rn. I hope i'm a better person there otherwise it would be pointless