Returned to counselling for the first time in over a year. Didn’t think I would be back, but I’ve been struggling heavily with the loss of someone important to me.
Someone I loved and cared for deeply no longer wants to be in my life and the thought of being without them gives me such horrible anxiety. They’ve always been there for me so it feels like a bereavement. She won’t speak to me, she’s blocked my numbers and every social media and I feel so alone without her.
Counsellor said that there is basically nothing I can do and I need to ride it out and wait it out. Eventually the fear and anxiety will disappear and I can try to adjust to a life without her. I don’t want to have to do this, but I don’t think I’ve any other choice.
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Saki-Amamiya
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“Out of sight out of mind” is a cliché concept but it truly helps. The less you see of a person, the easier it’ll get. It’s so tough losing someone you care about, especially when they choose to leave you. This situation will be a blessing in disguise. You’ll build character and learn how to thrive in ways you never knew you could without her. Sometimes we have to be stripped of things we’ve grown comfortable with in order to unleash the best version of ourselves. It will be tough and it’ll get worse before it gets better, but when you’re finally out of the darkness, you’ll look back and see how strong you are and how much you’ve grown. Every situation we face seems like “the worst situation ever” at the time when we’re in it because we can’t see the silver lining right then but once you’re out of it you’ll add it to the list of things you never thought you could make it through and realize that that list continues to grow because you continue to keep making it through things! That’s the beauty of the hardships.
Thank you so much for that. I've been in a similar situation before but this one has hit me so much harder. It was someone that I trusted with my life and she promised me a future together, but cheated on me and left to go be with him instead, so I am just really struggling to come to terms with what happened, but I'm also mourning the loss of someone that was once so close to me.
It’s totally okay to feel those emotions. I always allow myself a time to be in my funk because I think too often everyone wants us to just “get over it.” The more you feel, the more you can heal! And You don’t want to be with a cheater anyway... I’m telling you once you’re out of it you’re going to be so thankful that things turned out the way they did. As long as you know in your heart that you were a good person and did the right things, that’s enough to stand on so you can feel good about yourself. Good things are on the horizon once you get past this hurtful phase.
Old cliches do ring true. My mother always said to me, Time heals all wounds. I have found that true for me. I would add to that one, yes, the wound will heal, it might leave a scar as a reminder, but it will heal. ❤️🏄♀️
I'm sorry that you are walking through this experience. And while you don't have a choice about her decision to impact your life in this way, you do have a choice about how you move on from here and into healing. Getting back to the counselor was a wise step IMO. I hope the counselor might work with you through the grieving process. Too often we think of grieving only related to the death of someone we loved/cared for but it applies to all kinds of endings which are forced upon us. Are you familiar with the steps in grieving? It is something you can work on even without the counselor.
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