I have a long term psychiatrist that I’ve been seeing for about two years. She’s great. Very understanding and listens to my input as the patient. But, I’ve been looking to start more intense treatment, and was looking into starting ECT. Both my psychiatrist and therapist thought it would be a good treatment for me, with successful results. However, due to laws, my psychiatrist isn’t specialized in ECT treatment, and Had to refer me to second opinion on the treatment for authorization.
He ended up deciding I wasn’t a good candidate, and I absolutely respect his professional opinion in that, and based on what he told me I could possibly agree. However, by the end of the session I was in tears. I have only cried in therapy one other time, and that was this year with my therapist that I have seen for 2 years. It’s not like I avoid difficult or upsetting topics, it’s just that in a professional setting I usually don’t cry. But this man, was so incredibly invalidating to my experiences. He asked if I had borderline personality disorder, and i told him that my therapist and I looked at the DSM-5 and I didn’t meet the criteria. Later in the session he persisted his borderline personality disorder diagnosis, based on a 30 minute first time session. He brushed over my hypomanic episodes, and psychotic symptoms. One of the first things he asked me was if I was dating someone. I have never had a therapist or psychiatrist ask me this question, and I found him asking That question insulting. I talked about how my ex had a factor in the relationship, but only based on his questionings, the reality of the situation wasn’t just « he broke up with me and I was sad » but much more complex than that. I asked him his opinion on my treatment options, and his response was « a healthy boyfriend, church, and AA » and assumed my depression was connected with drinking and family difficulties. The healthy boyfriend thing was very insulting to me. I don’t think that’s an appropriate treatment plan, because a large aspect of that is out of my control. A healthy support system is so important, but a church setting does not fit my personality. In the end, i feel distrusting of myself, and my history. I feel invalidated. I’m not the only one, i looked at his reviews and out of the 14 people that reviewed him 11 of them gave him zero stars. And shared my experience of not being heard or understood. Many described him as apathetic and dismissive towards them. One of his continous clients mentioned he didn’t even learn their name.
I’m struggling with fighting this, and a part of me is believing him even though I know I shouldn’t.
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Elle_Luv
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Hi Elle you have every right to feel the way you do after a 30 min consult.
The reviews kind of said it all. I'm wondering if they were all women? His questions
were demeaning in that he already seemed to have it in his mind what his answer would be.
We need to become our own Advocates when we feel undermined. Not all doctors are the same and since ECT is a serious consideration, you would want someone with some empathy doing the procedure. (having nothing to do with a boyfriend, the church or AA) xx
Yes i thought so too. It seemed like he was only asking me questions to fill in his diagnosis he set up. This is known as confirmation bias, and it’s a basic psychology. He asked me what my triggers to my episodes were, and in my last episode I had a lot of triggers, and I felt like I had to give him an answer. Looking back on my response, I don’t think it was accurate. I assumed it was because of the failing of my relationship, but i had a lot of emotional and irritable responses before things went south, that seemed abnormal. I didn’t get a good idea of what gender the patients were, but it seemed like he is a bit sexist, and I don’t think that has any place in a psychiatric position. I might consult with my psychiatrist and see her opinion on the situation. The reality is, there are not a lot of psychiatrists in the area that are allowed to approve this procedure. ECT might not be the best treatment for me at this point, and I am open to that reality, but I’ve had a lot of reactions to medications, and I’m looking for other options.
Hi Elle, since you have a good relationship with your own psychiatrist, I think
that would be best in talking with her regarding other avenues you can take.
She's known you for a while and knows your past history. I wish you well in
finding the right answer for you. xx
hi elle. im sorry to hear you’ve been struggling and encountered a shitty doctor, please dont take what he said to heart. from what you’ve described, he gas lighted you and was disrespectful (if you wanted a second outside opinion on this). doctors are supposed to work ‘with’ you and help you, if they wont they do more harm than good so you replace them. I recently encountered a shitty doctor myself who also gas lighted me and im going to replace him because I deserve good health care and respect from my doctors just like you do. I hope you find the care you need and a better doctor.
Thank you so much! I think he did use some element of gaslighting as well. I know the experience of gaslighting and it always leaves me with feelings of self doubt. This experience was a big setback for me. I’m still in the process of recovering from abuse from partners, family, and even teachers. And after this experience i had those feelings of self doubt again, it was hard for me to remain stable. I felt like I had to go to extreme lengths to be taken seriously. And talking about my somewhat recent attempt in that light was really damaging to my healing and experience of that. Luckily, I only needed to see him one time. I have no plans of ever seeing that guy again or anything remotely related to him. I’m sorry about your experience! Ugh I hate when doctors are like this, it’s like why are you even allowed to do this?
Yuck he sounds like a sexist twat. Ignore him. My sister once had a male consultant treat her hip pain as greatly exaggerated and just told she needed a little job for pin money. She had severe osteoarthritis. I doubt he would have treated a male like that!Don't waste any time thinking he was right, just chalk it up to experience and sexism. This is the main reason why I try and see female doctors/consultants. Not saying all males ones are like this but I and my female relatives between us have seen enough who are.
Yuck again. Dry your tears and tell your nice psychiatrist what happened, and I bet you s/he will be angry at him.
Yah, I tend to agree on the female practitioner things. I’ve had bad female therapists, and good male therapists. However, the male therapist adopted a lot of feminine qualities. He is very validating and understanding. He shows empathy. Yah he definitely gave me sexist vibes. Especially with the stress of my dating life. I just thought that was a lot of stress on a first session. Especially when it really doesn’t relate to his purpose of my treatment, which was really just to approve or reject ECT. And his dismissal of the variety of my symptoms was degrading, and made me feel less valid. He just seemed like his official diagnosis was « sensitive female ». And also, I have a bad dating history and he insinuated blame on me for that. But I didn’t know the guy I was living with was really like that until way later. Also I talked about the abuse of my dad, and again dismissive. I will definitely talk about this with my regular care team. My therapist and psychiatrist are both females, and have always made me feel heard and validated. My psychiatrist was really respectful of my wishes to stop medication treatment for awhile. Every time I see a good therapist I leave feeling better, not in tears. He claimed he « understood my frustration » but I based on this mans language and behavior I don’t think he understood the reality of these experiences and the frustration with it.
Unbelievable!!! I'm stunned at his behavior. I've had this experience before with 2 or 3 specialist I've seen. It's traumatizing. I'm so sorry he did this to you! We definitely have to advocate for ourselves. It's not uncommon to get a 2nd or even 3rd opinion, so go that route if you can...
I will definitely look into that! I might call the clinic that performs it and see if they have any other recommendations. Thank you so much for your kindness. It’s definitely not helpful to my treatment. It was honestly more harmful. I haven’t been treated poorly by a therapist in awhile, and it was startling for sure.
I’ve thought about it. But I feel like I can’t. A lot of times, I dial back my emotions so people don’t think I’m crazy, or radical or whatever bullshit. So I’m afraid to voice my experiences with him in fear of being judged for being sensitive and too radical. One of his good reviews said he doesn’t « sugar coat ». But my therapist doesn’t either. She absolutely calls me out, but she does it in a way where I actually listen and accept the information and she doesn’t insinuate blame on me. She’ll use phrases like “i understand why you you’re making this choice.” If she thinks I’m making a decision that isn’t healthy, she’ll just talk through the consequences of that decision and respect my choice. As long as it doesn’t put me in physical harm of course.
I read this post yesterday, but didn't know what to say. I'm so sorry! I actually did what FearIsALiar did and wrote an online review about my psychiatrist back home. I wasn't her only bad review, so I can tell you with certainty that there are others out there who feel the same way. I had written another review (I don't remember what for), but I do remember Google emailing me about how it was helpful to someone. I don't know how they knew that, but that's not the point. The point is that reviews help!
Sometimes it is necessary to fire a doctor. A psychiatrist misdiagnosed me, and prescribed medication which made me suicidal. I fired her and my next psychiatrist said he would never have prescribed that medication for me. It sounds to me like your psychiatrist should be a medical examiner. I know it sounds like I'm trying to be funny but that doesn't sound like this doctor has any business dealing with living people.
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xx
New psychiatrist so cold
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How difficult have you found it trying to access psychiatrist?
