I suffer from extreme health anxiety, gad and depression to list a few. Insomnia. Ibs. And panic disorder. I'm like a crap version of the yellow pages of issues.
I just feel so down in the dumps all of the time. I constantly feel panicky. Constantly overthink and think the worst of everything. Spend most of my days upsetml. Cry myself to sleep most nights well when I say sleep I have a fitful nap before I just give in and get up. Always on the verge of tears. Make myself physically ill because I can't stop food and don't look after myself very well. I have tried so much from medication to meditation, watching/listening to videos on YouTube about relaxing mindfulness anxiety etc, going for walks, reading, colouring in, exercise. It just doesn't work and makes me feel worse that I cant seem to kick this feelings.
I keep everything bottled up because I feel like I bore people with my worries and that noone really cares. I don't have any friends really I always push people away because I just absolutely hate myself. Have started to distance myself from my partner because he just doesn't understand and he has no patience with 'people like me.' He expects to tell someone to not worry and be happy and that's all it takes to get better apparently. He doesn't belive anxiety is a condition and half the time I think he thinks I'm just making it all up as he doesn't see anything physically wrong with me.
Cant explain to him that you can't live in the moment when you are paralysed with fear that something is going to happen or your in the middle of a panic attack you can't just snap out of it and crack on.
I'm really struggle to cope with my own thoughts with no break. I just can't live this anymore. Every minute of every day is a struggle.
Sorry for moaning on. If anybody feels the same way please remember you aren't the only one suffering and I hope you find the gold at the end of your rainbow one day soon.
Written by
Secret4706
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I am the same way. I suffer from health anxiety, gad, depression, ocd and some other things and it seems to make things a lot harder for me. I constantly compare my life to others who don’t struggle with the mental things I do and I think to myself they are so lucky..
Don’t keep everything bottled up! It helps venting on here. I don’t have many friends either. It is hard to make friends especially with covid still going on.
I broke up with my ex bf because he wasn’t understanding and overall he was just toxic / not good for me. He was a positive person in a lot of ways which I admired about him because I always wish it was that easy and he made it seem so easy. I feel lost without him but I know I need to move on and work on myself ...
I also compare myself to others (even to the stage where if I'm watching say the news on TV I think oh I bet Bob reading the news doesn't do this etc - ridiculous i know)
I have one friend and poor cow has no choice but to put up with me since it's my sister ha.
We have bene together 15 years and have 3 amazing kids but recently for the past year I wonder why we are together as we have nothing in common bar our kids really.
Just feel like I exist but don't live if that makes sense.
I admire you for doing what's best for you. That's so brave and strong of you.
Thanks its something I have considered but never followed through with. I just can't see myself opening up or feeling any better if I do. But thanks again for your reply x
Tell your boyfriend that if he doesn't compliment your life, your anxiety is going to make you run. Also, stop stopping yourself from medication for panic. Also, call the suicide hotline to show your boyfriend your serious and talk about your relationship in front of him on the phone and all your feelings. If he responds by saying"don't talk to them" he is controlling you and he is giving you anxiety. Work on your relationship. Watch videos for counselors that narrate relationship attitudes and litterally talk about other people's relationships so you can learn more about relationships in particular. Pray to open your mouth. Jesus open her mouth. That way you can say, I am stuck. I am stuck in a dead end life. I am stuck I am over my threshold of pain... Use that to open up to every person and make them care for crying out load!
I don't feel suicidal in any way shape or form. He is not controlling we are two separate people and drifting apart. The medication does not help. I am not religious and don't belive in God or jesus or praying. Don't want people to care because I've asked or attention seemed which to me is what I'm doing if I open up about my feelings
Have you heard of the author Andrew Solomon? He once said in his TedTalks that (maybe not exact words ): "we can endure great pain if we believe it is purposeful."
Those words give me strength whenever I get anxious and depressed. I may not know it yet but I'm hopeful that my pain will teach me something someday. I pray that you do too. All I can say to you my friend is to hang in there; be kind and be forgiving to yourself. You have everything that you need in you to get through this don't give up.
I could have written you post, everyday is a struggle. My partner doesn’t understand and I do t want to worry my daughter so I hide a lot of how I’m feeling which is exhausting. Please take care of yourself
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
don't give up.
I want to give up today ugh
How to stop from wanting to give up
I so desperately want to give up
Just want to cry but cant 
Just fed up and want to die.
