A Story of Hope

[Elle_Luv]

Hey I’m new here. I joined this weekend, but what led me here was pretty severe. A week ago i started planning my suicide. I tried rationalizing it (it’s not rational) and I really thought I was ready to just give up. I wrote a will and a funeral arrangements . I gave out personal belongings. I gained resources. For a week i convinced myself I was going to die. And than? I got to the very last minute. My will laid out and signed. I went to the woods. At the very last second i wanted to make sure i was doing it right. I realized it was going to be so severely physically painful. So for that reason alone I stopped. I looked for another method. At this point a friend of mine called the police. I ran. But as i was driving hours away, the hotline had called me, my friend had called me. They were concerned. I finally admitted it. I needed help. Part of the reason that led me to that was because i have tried intense treatment for 2 years. A year of DBT and four different meds and I still wasn’t better? I realized, i didn’t want to die. Someone on the hotline told me I could write or be a therapist. I decided i wanted to be writer. Writing gave my mental illness a purpose. It allows me to share my experience and help others in hopeless times when they feel alone, or at the very least it gives another perspective. I came on here to find people who experienced mental health (as most people in my support group haven’t and don’t fully comprehend it) and you guys have been so helpful! I know a lot of you are hurting and you might be in a different situation than me, but if you’re feeling this way. Get help. Call someone, consider hospitalization, get help. Now my life is great. No it’s not like all my problems went away. I’m still sleeping an air mattress on the floor of my friends apartment, and my dad is still abusive, but I’ve seen him radically improve after a couple therapy sessions. Growing takes time, be patient. It gets better.

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome! Wow, what a story. I am so glad that you're still with us!

[StillSeeking]

Bless you for sharing! Stay strong and know you are not alone.

[BluePeppermint]

Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you are in a better place. I've been suicidal in the past, but my uncle committed suicide when I was 3, and I have nieces of my own. They are young adults now, but never in their lives did I want them to wonder what hurt Auntie so bad she took her own life. Welcome to the group.

[kv3011]

Thank you for sharing this very personal story. So many of us are struggling just like this. I hope you find hope and help on here, if you if you ever need someone to talk to you can always message me or anyone else on here