My depression is just constant. I just feel I need to tell what I'm feeling because its all bottle up. I'me changing from Trintellix back to Lexapro, but the meds just doesn't do anything. How you deal with the terrible endless days of living? I keep thinking others are in some much worse situation than I am, but the feeling just won't go away. I've been depressed for 30 + years and it doesn't get any better. Its now worse because I have lost all interest in the world. and no medication can help you with that. I wish i wasn't such a coward and could just stop the endless repeat cycle of living & doing nothing.
I wake up - work - watch YouTube and go to bed. That's it everyday. I just can't imagine doing this anymore. Go walking is the advice, but then all I do is think how lonely I am in my walk.
I get the constant message of go out and meet people. where?? how do I make friends if they're not interested?? You can't make someone like you and no normal person wants a friend whose mentally ill (been there!).
I just can't find the blessing in living this life. I feel that I've done enough-- there's nothing else left to do.