I Made the Poor Decision to Google My Biological Dad...

[SilentSinger55]

So, this didn't go well...

I don't know what I was expecting to find. He's a drug addict and alcoholic but my mom won't tell me much about him so today I used my friends phone to Google him. First thing that comes up is an arrest report from December 31,2019 for drunk driving. It was on the news and everything. I click on it and it says the man was 42 years old (which is how old my dad would be) and it has a picture. I last saw this man when I was 7 and he was drunk so my mom kept me away from him so I don't remember what he really looks like but from old photos, I was about 70% sure was him. Next thing I do is click on the criminal record button which then brings me to a screen where I press one more button and POOF! There's all of his personal information. At this point, I'm kinda praying that it's not him because no less than two years ago I was told he was getting clean for a job and he was buying a house and putting his life back together. But low and behold, I scroll down to the list of relatives to find my mother's name......

It kind of broke my heart. What's even worse is I told my older brother who shares the same father about it and he said he already knew. Our mom told him about it when it happened. I get that my mom might have been trying to protect me but I'm old enough to know about this stuff. He's still a part of me and I'd like to know what kind of person he is before I'm 18 and get to decide whether to go find him or not.

[Hidden]

I get it but that's a big Ole can of worms to open up. Could change your life for the worst. I would trust moms instincts and stay away if it were me.

[sunandbutterfly]

You have a lot going on with your friend Chris and in your own life. Know that you are not your father and you can make different choices than he has. Also, sorry that this makes you feel badly about brother and mom. Maybe some of the resources that I pointed out for Chris and her situation would be helpful for you too?

[kenster1]

hi at the end of the day he is still your dad criminal record or not.the choice to reconnect is entirely up to you.not making excuses but new years eve he probably and more than likely had a few to many and shouldn't have been driving being an alcoholic is a disease I doubt its what he wished for himself but its just the way it turned out for him and most of his convictions probably happened when drunk again not an excuse in any way.if you haven't seen him wouldn't you like to meet and get his version alcoholic or not he is still your dad.

[SilentSinger55 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you for your response! I really liked your insight and point of view on the situation and thank you for that. I will keep all of your thoughts on mind!