I'm new here

[crazycatlady92]

I have been battling my depression and anxiety for years now, and I was doing really well for a long time. but recently my depression came back and I'm not really sure how do deal. I can't talk to people because it will worry them, and I don't want that. I am trying to act normal like nothing is wrong, but it is becoming really exhausting to keep up.

[JumpingFrog]

Hang on in there. You noticed what's wrong so your on the path to fixing it. Help is out there and your not alone. Hope you find a path that leads to feeling better.

[Hidden]

I can understand you not being able to talk to loved ones out of fear of worrying them. Have you ever thought about therapy? It would give you a safe space to talk without fear of opening up.

[crazycatlady92]

Yes, I have been in therapy since I was a kid. It’s just hard to see one since I’m in school full time. And I have very little energy to leave my house. One of the main reasons I am doing online school instead of going to a campus.

[Hidden in reply to crazycatlady92]

It is hard to see a therapist when you are in school full time but I really think it is important to try to make time for that. Your mental health is so important. You sound like you are unhappy right now and maybe talking things through can help.

[crazycatlady92 in reply to Hidden]

I agree it’s important. I guess the main thing is finding the energy to go. Which I find hard when my depression takes over. I will try to find one.

[Hidden in reply to crazycatlady92]

Depression really wipes a persons energy. I understand it can be really hard to find the motivation to go. I hope you can find it. In the meantime we are all here for you.

[crazycatlady92 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I’ve tried other Anonymous websites to talk about some of my issues and they weren’t very safe. A lot of people used them to bully and it take all I had to try another one.

[Hidden in reply to crazycatlady92]

How horrible! I am glad you are no longer on such sites. Well done for reaching out on here. It must have been so difficult for you. You are stronger then you realise.

[DottieLucy]

Hello, crazycatlady92, First off let me say that I love your screen name! Do you own cats? I just got a senior kitty who's owner had to go into a nursing home. I haven't had a cat in probably 20 years (because of owning big dogs instead) and I had forgotten how much joy I get from a kitty purr! Especially at night! They offer such warmth and comfort (when they're not biting or scratching you!! HaHa). Okay, so you are depressed and I have seen that you attend school online - congrats for that, by the way! I received both my bachelors and my masters online! The big problem with online schooling is that, although there is some interaction, there is no touching, no laughing late into the night, no shoulders to cry on! Do you get out at all? I know you said that between school and being depressed you have zero energy, but I think you will begin to come up out of the depression if you a) find a great therapist and b) start forcing yourself to go out. Go to the zoo, go to a park or a lake, take a walk in the woods, go hang out at the mall, anything that will get you around people. Once you have done so, start inviting friends/relatives to spend time with you - even an hour every other day will make a HUGE difference in your attitude. exercise is another great way to get the "feel good" endorphins kicking in and kicking depression out. I am praying for you!

[crazycatlady92 in reply to DottieLucy]

Yes I do own cats I have 3 of them, I do get out sometimes. My fiancé talks me into going out. But sometimes not even he can get me to go out. He wants me to hang out with his family who are in town. And I want to say no just because I don’t have the energy to talk to them. And I’m also a little hurt by them for something that happened recently. I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to hang out with them just yet cause it is too soon and I don’t want to get overwhelmed. His family is really important to him and I don’t want to get in the way of that. But at the same time I want to get better so they don’t think I can’t be around them. I hope that makes sense.