I haven't been on here in a while but nothing has changed. I was trying to think positively but I feel the same as most people on here. Unlovable, sad, depressed and thinking of ending my life on a daily basis. I was told that some people are born to suffer with no end in sight. I thought that if I suffered all this time there had to be something positive in the end. That God must need me to change the world, or maybe just make a positive difference in someone's life. I tried not not to think negatively. I forgave everyone that hurt me. I prayed to God, I asked for forgiveness for any wrong I had done. I prayed, cried and yet I still felt angry at these people. I thought that if I was sincere in my pleas that I would feel enlighten and free. Unfortunately that didn't happen. My mother said I had to have faith which I felt I did when I asked God to heal my broken heart. I don't mean to depress or upset anyone but I'm beginning to think this person was correct. No matter how hard I try I always seem to get hurt or used. I'm tired of crying and feeling hopeless. I know some people that do not deserve the men in their lives or their good paying job or their wealth. There are so many good deserving people out there that get shafted everyday. Why isn't God giving us the same riches as these people. I'm a good person. I give to the homeless and I'm the first to offer my help when needed. It's hard to be positive when all I'm getting is heartbreak.
Tired: I haven't been on here in a... - Anxiety and Depre...
Tired
We are not born to suffer. That's absurd. We are born to love and have joy and help others. Try to think of some positives in your life. Do you have a spouse, children, a job you love? Just waking up every morning is a blessing and an opportunity to experience joy. Is there any joy in your life?? What can you change to bring joy, new hobbies, volunteering, spending time with someone that needs company? There is always something we can do to bring joy. Go visit nursing homes. I do and it brings joy to others. Volunteer at an animal shelter, a school. Try crafts and be artistic. Write poetry. Take a walk. There are so many things to do. I k ow it's hard. I struggle too but I know I am blessed with a talent for poetry, a gift to help people as nurse and a gift to love my Daughter with all that I have. There are many negatives, so tragic in my life so far but I can't dwell on them because there is no point in that. I learned my lesson in that. I dwelled in that before and ended up in the psych ward for two months. I have to grow from my pain and keep going and count my blessings. You are blessed to be here and can turn this around.
I am separated from my husband going on 19 years. He was a drunk cheating abusive man. I have 3 grown son who don't speak to me because I speak my mind. I have 17 grandchildren. I see them maybe 6 months at a time and only ify children are speaking to me. If they are angry with me they don't bring them around. I never know where they live, my grandchildren never reach out to me. My son's only come around if they need something, they'll stay around a few month then stop coming by. I live with a man who I love more than myself. I found out last year that he was in love with his friend for as long as I've known him. He was telling people I was his friend with benefits. Now who do you know will support a man, cook, clean and pay bills to be a friend with benefits let alone for 18 years. When I found out I ousted him to her, she was upset that he "lied" to her. I got mentally abused by this man. I left him in Sep 2017 on Monday by Wednesday she had moved her stuff in. I was completely devastated and moved back in because after doing everything for him including doing some remodeling on his home I could not let them be happy. I am miserable and hate him with a passion sad to say that I still love him but we are just roommates.
I am so sorry you have to go through all that. It sounds difficult.
Some of those people with so many riches end up leading very empty lives. From the outside it might look good to have nice things and be wealthy, but their struggles just end up being different than ours. A friend of mine in college was very wealthy but once we knew each other better we still both had depression and anxiety but for different reasons. once told me I was the only person that was ever truly his friend everyone else was just there for his wealth.. that sounds pretty sad to me, he never really knew who to trust and always felt alone(just like me, but I was never wealthy).. I’m not sure if that helps any, I just thought I’d share that story with you. To give a different perspective.
I'm sorry I didn't explain it correctly. I don't begrudge anyone for what they have. I'm speaking of the people who cheat the government by claiming children they don't have or are receiving housing, food stamps, AFDC because they are lazy. I don't have any benefits hell I do not even have a job. But I'm not out here with my hand out trying to get paid for nothing. I guess I'm just bitter because I want do much more but lack the education required to get a better paying job. I'm bitter because instead of going to school I had to stay home and take care of my siblings while my mom left town with her boyfriend to " look for a work". I'm just bitter period. I'm sorry.
Hi. Some people have tough lives and it is unfair. I am however sure you already know that hate, bitterness and guilt, to name just a few, are really unhelpful feelings or emotions. They all take so much energy. I have found life difficult which is not to say I have had a difficult life as in some ways I have been lucky. I think self respect is a good place to start and if you can think that the people who have hurt you have done their best, and I am not saying that their best was good enough, it may become easier for you to move forward more positively. I hope you can let go of your past and I wish you peace and happiness.
It’s okay to be a little bitter sometimes, especially when you have had a tough go of things. Just don’t let it change who you are deep down. It sounds like you have perfectly good reasons to be angry. But at the same time you’re here searching for support and answers, I don’t really know what to say, but I know you’re not alone with these feelings I see people in the world take advantage of so much or take things for granted and it’s truly unfair.. do you have a happy relationship with any of your siblings? Or was it to difficult with the balance of sibling/ parent?
Hi Heartbroken, is the need to feel faith and forgiveness the only things you feel? What about anger rage frustration and betrayal???
Sometimes you have to feel the ugly stuff to really appreciate the benefits of faith and forgiveness...Try it and see... Love-
Traci
Being honest with yourself helps to look at things objectively. Faith is important but it is a process. You don't open doors that say abuse me because I'm a Christian. People do it sometimes because we let them. Learning how to live this life takes time and we can't waste our time on bitterness and other such feelings because it spills over into other relationships. There's no quick fix for this because the patterns are established but stop and take a hard look at your life, people who have angered you and talk to God about. Tell Him you're angry why just how you feel. Pray about it and ask Him to help you release them to Him and move on. I would also set boundaries for my children so they won't dump on you. Over time you will see things from a new perspective. I have but I had to learn to face my feelings honestly and give them to the Lord.
I'm still sorting through it but I'm not where I was. He took the bitterness, pride and arrogance from me now I can see my own faults which is where we find healing.
Sister, you are singing my song. I too have been a people pleaser to the extent that I do without and when these people I am trying to please don't love me enough, or reciprocate I become hurt and angry. I wonder what is wrong with them. Then when they come around I do more, give more and again they disappoint me. I play this game with God too. I am a good person, I give, don't hurt anyone, why aren't you giving me what I think I deserve ? The answer is ...we are responsible for ourselves and the choices we make. Nothing will change until we do. I mean you must do and not just say. Staying with a man you hate....think about who you are hurting here. As to God , who knows the secrets of your soul, you can never fool Him. Pam
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