Punished for trying to improve my life - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

92,589 members86,434 posts

Punished for trying to improve my life

Missnoname profile image
29 Replies

Well, as is par for the course, I found a nicer house that wasn't completely falling apart 2 blocks away, went there to drop off a few things and my perfectly good car just wouldn't start when I tried to leave. I'm broke since I just put $2,000 down on a new house. Every time I try to get ahead I'm punished, and quite frankly I'm done trying.

Written by
Missnoname profile image
Missnoname
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
29 Replies

Never give up!! You will figure something out. Something tells me you always do. ☺️

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply to

I be home $1450/wk and literally live like I'm on ******* welfare bc it's nonstop bull****. Yeah....I'm done

in reply toMissnoname

If that's what you really make per week and still can't make it there's something wrong. Maybe you are living well beyond your means.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply to

Yeah, I don't even have a pair of pants without holes in them. That must be it. It has nothing to do with the fact that literally every ******* thing I buy breaks or every time I have more that $500 in my acct someone has to go to the urgent Care or ER. Nothing to do with the $800/month *****hole I live in that's required me to call a plumber 3 times in the last 8 months, an HVAc compant, the electric company, and an exterminator that cost $2000 when I got new neighbors with bedbugs. It's obviously just poor life choices.

in reply toMissnoname

Why not pay more than four days income on a bug infested place? I make a third of that with a family of three. I don't get the struggle.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply to

No you don't, which is exactly the point of this post. Horrible **** literally happens to me nonstop and I'm sick of hearing "bad things happen to everyone" bc it way beyond the ******* point of being normal. If you read the post, I'm moving. You can't just take bedbugs with you to a new house and you can't just pack your stuff and move the moment you see a bug.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply to

And after I washed and treated every article of clothing we owned and put them in garbage bags to make sure my kids weren't wearing bug infestedclothes, the leak that my landlord denies exists turned into a whole broken pipe that flooded that room with toilet water, about 6 hrs before the storm we had backed up my sewer drain and flooded the room with OTHER PEOPLES TOILET WATER. and my washer, that I bought brand new 14 months ago stopped working so most of our clothes ended up in the garbage. This was one week of my **** life.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply to

Btw, I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm really a nice person. All I want is a simple life, I don't drink or do any drugs, don't buy $500 purses or $60,000 cars, because as long as there are kids with no shoes in this world I would never spend money like that. But it's one horrible thing after another, every week, every payday. I couldn't do enough **** to deserve this kind of karma in 10 lifetimes, let alone the fact that I keep to myself and do nothing wrong to anyone ever. I really don't know wtf the problem is but I'm on the verge of having a breakdown. What is the point of working my ass off when I'm obviously never going to get one step ahead. I've said "well it can only get better" a hundred times but it doesn't. It just gets worse.

No1wthayla profile image
No1wthayla in reply toMissnoname

I feel your pain, Missnoname. I've had many years of similar problems. Car repairs, house repairs, moving expenses, rent is too high, and my paycheck hasn't grown in two years. The worst is that I have had 6 people die on me. Five of them in the last two years: grandmother, father, uncle, grandfather and mother-in-law (Jan 4, 2019). My mom died 10 years ago and her boyfriend, Poppa to me, died six years ago. I just keep holding on, fighting to get my head above water. But someone keeps pulling me under again.

I know saying "it will get better" doesn't help. Neither does "sorry for your loss" or "my condolences." I believe that having some sort of direction in my life helps keep me on track. My direction is to be kind to others, help with things I can help with (a smile, joke, making meatloaf for someone, washing their hair or trimming toe nails). Even taking out the recycling and sweeping the garage when my father-in-law is at church on Sunday. I sometimes give cash to folks on the street, usually military vets or older folks. The younger ones here are mostly con artists. Or I pay for someone's dinner. (I really loved that one and think I need to do it again soon.) Be kind, keep fighting, find ways to make it through. You can do it. Don't let the obstacles get in the way and knock you over. But if they do, get back up and fight some more.

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961

Lucky for you that you only had to travel two blocks. Get those walking shoes on. Hope your car is an easy fix!

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply toChicagoGirl1961

Yeah, it was really fun with a 2 and 5 year old who weren't dressed for 25 degree weather since they were supposed to be going from one garage to another. And my car will literally sit there until Thursday because even though I do everything anyone ever asks me, there's not one person who could give a **** less if I die tomorrow. Not one. I'm done.

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961 in reply toMissnoname

I'm sorry, I did not know the circumstances and apologize for making light of them. This crisis will pass, and I hope it does not turn out to be a great hardship for you.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply toChicagoGirl1961

I'm not trying to be a jerk, I know you didn't, I'm just beyond frustrated.

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961 in reply toMissnoname

I understand how frustrating this must be for you. The car being down and money troubles has got to be rough, but this problem will pass soon. Go hug those kids, I know when I'm with my young grandchildren there is no greater joy in my life. Hope you can relax and have a good night. Be well.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply toChicagoGirl1961

My kids are the only thing I care about and I feel like I can't even give them anything because it's nonstop bull****. I seriously don't know what the problem is, and I'm not a pessimist, and I'm not a complainer. But there's only so long you can ignore **** or let it roll off your shoulders.

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961 in reply toMissnoname

Life happens. Sometimes it's filled with strife, sometimes not. Life can beat us all down if we let it, I've been in dark places in my life many times, got really down, but never gave up. Even though there were times when I didn't see a way to overcome my situation, I somehow always eventually found a way. I know from personal experience that always thinking why me when things went wrong just made things worse for me and delayed me from overcoming my problems.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply toChicagoGirl1961

Yeah, I know all about that and I used to be a firm believer that our thoughts create our reality, but not anymore. Because I'm NOT the kind of person who thinks like that, and it's been a constant **** storm of "every single thing that can possibly go wrong will" for the last 2 years and it never lets up. Never. My son and my ex have both commented on the ridiculous amount of **** that happens to me, my ex actually suggested that I've been cursed by someone (I have another post about that). There is only so much one person can take and I'm telling you that many people wouldn't have made it this far. There is NEVER, at least in the last few years, one single week that goes by that something ****** happens and creates a huge expense. I don't buy things, and I've brought home $36k in the last 6 months. There's $75 in my bank account right now. I'm going to start here and document everything, because it's literally so ridiculous that people don't believe me or think I'm exaggerating.

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970

You are not being punished. I promise. It is a bummer that you had this happen. How very frustrating! Congrats on the new house.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Oh this is tough but try and concentrate on the positive rather than the negative. At least you have found a better place to live. it might be something trivial with the car which won't cost much. x

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply tohypercat54

I hope so but it's also hard to move stuff with no car. I'm just so sick of the never ending bad luck!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply toMissnoname

It was good luck finding a nicer home so it's not all bad news. Have you had your car checked to find out what is wrong yet?

Sometimes life is a bummer and I do understand how you feel. They do say things happen in 3's and I must admit I worry when things are going smoothly wondering what the next crisis will be. x

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply tohypercat54

Yeah ...just got a text that the hospital I work at is closing.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply toMissnoname

Oh dear not good. Sorry to hear that. Can you be re-deployed? x

I can’t imagine how exhausted and frustrated you must feel, especially with kids in the mix. so many people think you’ll be fine if you just “stay positive” and “work hard” but it’s not that simple. I’m amazed how you’ve managed to keep yourself together so far and keep doing your best with what you have; I admire you for that.

Missnoname profile image
Missnoname in reply to

OMG, seriously thank you for that. You have no idea how much it helps just to be acknowledged. I've worked with many schizophrenic patients and I know what it sounds like, but I honestly feel like someone is trying to drive me mad!

DenverHappy profile image
DenverHappy in reply toMissnoname

I Totally Understand what you’re going through!!! I’m probably twice your age, and I’ve literally had Years when it seemed like One step forward, Two steps backward... not days, weeks, months, but freakin YEARS!! PM me if you want, and I’ll tell you about it.. DO NOT GIVE UP.. NO WAY, NO HOW!!! Life will bring you great pleasure, I assure you! It gets better! :)

in reply toMissnoname

no problem. you’re not crazy for feeling like the world is out to get you when you feel the struggle. all you can do is your best.

Arniestal profile image
Arniestal

I've had times when I've felt like you I used to say have I got victim written on my forehead. Ready your post I just wished I lived near you I would come and help. I would love to. Hope you are going to start a totally different road at new house, you and your two lovely little boys.

Samson1953 profile image
Samson1953

Hi I hope things r going ok for you. My car didn't start yesterday n thank goodness it was just the battery. Hope yrs is something easy n not expensive

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Religion does nothing to improve life

i have one or more chance for disrespect and the one who has to hide his identity as i have no...

Longing for my old life

Until 6 months ago I had a pretty good life even though I suffered from daily anxiety I thought I...
CazO46 profile image

Trying to gauge my baseline anxiety

Hi everyone, I'm based in the US (I know many of you are in the UK) and it feels like between the...
Ramon123 profile image

Anxiety controlling my life

I'm 18 years old and im suffering from severe anxiety. I don't sleep and I'm not eating properly. I...
hannah_hope2 profile image

What happened to my life?

Hey all, I've been feeling this way for a really long time now and it's still eating away at me,...

Moderation team

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.