I’m tired of suffering : Hi everyone... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I’m tired of suffering

Shutterbug65 profile image
22 Replies

Hi everyone. First off I’m sorry if I don’t reply back right away. Every morning I wake very early with horrible anxiety, I’m unable to get back to sleep and I toss and turn and talk to myself, my mind just won’t allow me to be at peace. My heart is pounding and I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack.

I need help but I can’t afford $50.00 a session to see a therapist every week. That’s how much my co pay is. What should I do? I can’t go on like this. I’m tired everyday and I’m not doing well at work. The mornings are the worst and I can’t cope anymore.

I’d appreciate any advice, anything at all. I’ll respond back as soon as I can.

Thank you.

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Shutterbug65
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22 Replies
lorianxiety profile image
lorianxiety

hi first of all id like to say that although much older I can identify with those feelings of extreme anxiety and fearful of every second,and of all things that accompany Anxiety-such as palpitations and heart thumping loudly(im in a far better placejust now though still understand the amount of fear and stress athat accompanies those horrible feelings---and I expect you think that I feel hopeless so you feel undervalued as a person ,ect.You can find understanding of nervous fatigue/stress/anxiety in reading Dr Claire Weeks Essential help for your nerves--------she was around in the late 50s but she has left a legacy of her work and total understanding of how the nervous system responds to Fear/stress she is online too,and Amazon would stock her bks.Meanwhile I m still here as well as others on this site-your never alone.

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply tolorianxiety

Thank you so much for the recommendation of Dr Weeks books. It would be helpful if I can understand what is wrong with me, why I feel consumed by anxiety? Everyday I wake up and almost immediately my anxiety and fear start in. I can’t remember the last time I had a good nights sleep. I’m tired physically and emotionally of living this way. How much more of this can I take?

lorianxiety profile image
lorianxiety in reply toShutterbug65

hi again,did you say you worked and are you okay there?sometimes as I felt for months that feeling of another day brought on more anxiety,though ive been retired for years now,I think its the expectation of the anxiety being there every single day and the thought of another day to endure that makes it more scary our nerves become sensitised to the dreaded anxiety,Dr WEekes suggests Acceptance of those feelings rather than fight,and to allow them to float and pay no attention to the little voice that keeps plying us with more information ,usually negative and to accept all the horrible feelings that go with fear......try and visualise a nice event/whatever and allow the good feelings to replace awful ones -the more you practise the better and easier it flows.

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply tolorianxiety

I’m anxious even at work. But slowly during the afternoon it slowly lifts. And at about 4:00 or 5:00 I’m feeling much better, Im sure the Xanax has something to do with it. But I know the cycle will repeat itself at around 3:00 am. Everyday is the same, intense overwhelming anxiety that prevents a good nights sleep.

In fact I actually look forward to the work week, Im around people I like, well most anyway , and I have something to distract me from my problems. The weekends are empty and all I do all morning is pace around the house, pleading for help and unable to concentrate on anything. And the belief everything will go terrible in my life, catastrophic thinking.

I’m tired of it.

Thank you so much for the info on Dr Weeks I looked her up and she has a number of books and cd’s that seem to be written to people like me.

lorianxiety profile image
lorianxiety in reply toShutterbug65

yes ,DrWeeks,is to the point and you can listen to her interview online which is a good way of soaking up information on how to help yourself when Anxiety takes over as you have described(Itoohave had may days like that and IMgradually getting back to where I was)not easy but possible .do keep in touch as im sure keeping up the banter/talking is important,and let Claire weeks assist----its essential for understandinghope that helps ,

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply tolorianxiety

Thank you again for recommending her. I read about her work on anxiety and it’s like she describing me. I definitely have to look into it. I tend to procrastinate though but I really have to push myself. Morning anxiety and insomnia is taken its toll on me. It’s horrible.

lorianxiety profile image
lorianxiety in reply toShutterbug65

so glad you found DrClaire Weekes helpful,please try and persevere things will not be easy when like myself you lack motivation ,and worn out CWks.describes this nervous fatigue so well,and you need to keep going back to what she says as ive done,and its a step in the right direction.Never thought id feel so incapacitated myself,and though im over the worse its still perseverance.and pretty much tough going use your faith to help you to overcome your symptoms of helplessness,and believe in this persons understanding of our nervous system....all the best.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1

my take on it is paying therapists is wrong.i find that they drag it on just to squeeze more money out of people.i think the more you do for yourself will really help and if so book a therapist maybe once per month.

car103 profile image
car103

Good (?) Morning,

Shutterbug 65 I have the same thing going on every morning and I actually have a therapy appt later this morning. I've been seeing this therapist for over a year. I've learned a lot about myself but I can't say it has helped with the anxiety. Do I need a different therapist? Probably. But a therapist isn't necessarily the answer. I also have a psychiatrist and meds haven't done much either. I don't know what the answer is. I'm glad you shared. It reminds me that I am not the only one going through this. I hope people respond with ideas.

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply tocar103

Thank you. I don’t know what the answer is either. All I know is I can’t keep going on like this. I have many problems that I keep dwelling on over and over again, it’s driving me crazy. I’m really a mess. This year I think everything is gonna come crashing down. I’m also seeing a phychiatrist and I take meds too. To be honest I’m just so lazy when it comes to helping myself. I’m just waiting for a magic wand to cure me. Someday I’m afraid I’ll end up in a hospital.

No your not alone car103. And thank you for your insight.

Orangesocks33- profile image
Orangesocks33- in reply toShutterbug65

Feel the same sometimes hopeless and have a young daughter

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply toOrangesocks33-

Yeah I don’t know where to turn. This has really taken a toll on my life. I feel broken down.

Hope you are doing better.

kateba profile image
kateba

Mornings can be the worst times. You see that first sliver of light and your mind starts thinking about having to get through a day with all those racing thoughts. Therapy and medicine helps. I did the same thing years ago, put off therapy because of the cost. Is there any way you can borrow money from family or friends? If not call a therapist and explain your cash flow situation. They may be willing to work things out. I'm in the same boat right now. I get insurance through the exchange and my old insurance the copay was $20, with my new insurance which is supposed to be a gold policy my copay is now $45. My advice to you is don't avoid the therapy because of the money because it really does help. See what you can work out, best of luck to you.

May I suggest a good book to read: amazon.com/gp/product/04511...

I read this year ago and am currently re-reading it. Some great tips and examples in this book.

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply tokateba

Thanks for the book tip I’ll be sure to look it up. You know it’s not even the first light of day. I wake way before that, sometimes three or four am. heart pounding, mind racing from one issue to the next. Mostly it’s financial, my furnace went two weeks ago so I had to get a new one $$. I owe the IRS for the past two years. I have to pay back my tax credit which helps pay for my health insurance, because I made to much income. Medical bill for 24 hour clinic visit in December for a piece of steak caught in my esophagus. The part insurance won’t pay. And on and on it goes. I just can’t take it anymore, I’m at the point where I’ll either have a heart attack or have a breakdown, it’s that bad. As my day wears on I feel calmer, more at ease. And at night I’m fine, it’s only the dreaded mornings.

I’m also on the exchange. I have the same plan as last year but my deductibles went up and I pay more. Even with the tax credit it’s expensive.

Thanks for the reply. Sorry this is so long.

Wow that is so expensive 😔 I’m sorry x

Try this app called Calm it helps me during the anxious times especially mornings.

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply to

It is expensive. My deductible went up as well as my premium even though I have the same insurance plan. I’m on the government health exchange (Obamacare) because my company is to cheap to provide insurance. It just adds to my worries. My phychiatrist thinks I need to see a therapist. I told her how much it will cost and she didn’t have a answer. Oh well.

Thank you for listening.

in reply toShutterbug65

Im sorry 😔 sometimes I forget that not everyone had free health care like we do in the UK

I hope someone from your country has a better answer for you on here .

Hi shutterbug - I had a period of intense anxiety - it was stress. I knew the cause of the waking insomnia and anxiety. I was finally diagnosed with a sleep disorder and take a sleeping pill every night. I wind down so don't watch social media or use computer an hour before going to sleep as this can make you hyperactive. I make sure there is not too much light in the room as a dark room encourages sleep producing hormone melatonin.

I go to bed late at least 11.30pm or I will be awake at 5am. I expect you are trying to cope without tablets, but when stress affects you it upsets every system including the parasympathetic nervous system. I have found taking an occasional Valium and having a good night's rest does help your anxiety. You may be helped by a prescription from your doctor and help with your body rhythms which are out of sync. Take care.

CaptainCrunch profile image
CaptainCrunch

Hey Shutterbug. Sorry for your challenges. Life "IS" the challenge. Every week I still fight off the depression and anxiety. The bouts are getting shorter and I am becoming more and more aware of the triggers as well as the the frame of mind that is bringing me to such miserable places and thoughts. I believe I have to keep forcing myself to be a bit uncomfortable everyday and wait for my brain to get used to it.

It takes along time for the brain to pick up a new pattern and give you relief from the nagging fear. So I would always encourage to just do something so small and so almost insignificant that it seems ridiculous.

Recently we got some hand soap that has eucalyptus and spearmint in it. Now, when I wash my hands I cup them over my mouth and nose to smell it and breath it in. Going for walks and Journaling, even just a sentence or two, is helpful to organize thoughts and get junk out. Another positive practice, I have been trying, is in the mornings I started doing just two types of stretches while making coffee. But it has gradually increased and evolved into more. Still, I can't tell you how much I disdain any form of exercise, besides walking. Every morning I am fighting to not do my, 2-minute workout, but I have succeed pushing myself through them. I do feel super proud of myself after I am done. I have also started making a list of friends I have lost touch with and am working at being intentional about texting, messaging, or emailing them. One guy has had similar struggles and now we text every other day.

I would love to hear other ideas from anyone out there. Simple things that help us slow down and bring a little joy to our lives.

The cost of healthcare... Maybe you can find a less expensive therapist if you really search them out. Talk to your therapist, explain your financial situation and see if they can recommend a different therapist for you. I recently found a job with very good benefits; I am happy there. The place is small, less folks to deal with. It is ideal. Maybe a change in employment that is better for you financially and with the company culture. Finally, you do as much as you can preventively, take care of your health, eat right, see your doctor, etc. Then you give it to God. You do not have a crystal ball, pray for the strength to handle everything you encounter on your journey in life and then let it go. If something happens, why worry before hand, deal with whatever occurs. The Bible says, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Do not borrow from tomorrow. Simply saying things will sometimes happen, deal with today, let tomorrow take care of itself. God’s blessings.

Shutterbug65 profile image
Shutterbug65 in reply to

Thank you so much for your wonderful words. I’m trying not to worry so much, every morning I pray that god gives me a little bit of courage and strength to lessen my anxiety to find a way out of this cycle I’m in. I’m just so alone. The fear of knowing I’m going to wake up at 3:00 am and not get back to sleep worries me. I’m afraid I’ll lose my mind if this keeps up. As far as another therapist goes it will still cost me $50.00, that’s my co pay to see a specialist. I have Obamacare and pay a lot each month in premiums.

Thank you again and I hope you have a great day.

MsJazzy profile image
MsJazzy

I'm so sorry that you are struggling, but I am encouraged knowing that the anxiety improves during the day and at night. I'm wondering how long you have been dealing with this anxiety in the morning. It's seems like your financial situation is causing a lot of the problems and I can understand why you would not want to add a bill for a therapist to your plate. Have you considered an on-line therapist? I'm not sure if the cost of online is less expensive, but it I'm so sorry that you are struggling, but I am encouraged knowing that the anxiety is not present during might be worth investigating. Also, some churches offer counseling sessions for free. Perhaps that would be another option. Someone previously suggested an app called "Calm". There another app that I use called "Abide". It cost $30 a year, but you can do a 14 day trial for free and see if it works. There is also a place where you can journal. I pray for peace and comfort each morning.

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