Engaged and anxiety

[tiffany1979]

I am engaged to what I feel is wonderful man sometimes other times he makes me question myself and him. Sometimes I feel the things he says and does are strange or not the truth but I'm not sure if it's from my previously bad marriage or not or if it's all in my head but I know I'm not crazy some things that he does just don't add up. Another thing is he finally got visitation with his daughter after fighting for a year so for the last month and a half every weekend he spends with her. Now at this time he pretty much goes MIA. Once in a while I will get a text but he refuses he answer the phone and the visitation is suppose to be 9-2 and supposedly the mom shows up whenever she wants hours late or not at all which means our plans get messed up and I get ignored the whole time. We are engaged in. I'm not just some random girl he's sleeping with. I feel as if either something is going on with the ex or something else is going on to totally disguard me during his visits knowing I'm at my house waiting for visit to get over so we can do what we planned and now every weekend for the last month I sat here by myself crying and hurt and feeling like my feelings don't matter and the ex gets more control then I do. I feel like saying I give up she wins because this is what she wants to happen. How many times am I suppose to be on the back burner and let down until it's to much

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, Do not blame yourself, you have had a bad experience in the past now this one stinks to me, I would disengage myself if it were me. I would go and find a good therapist to help you, and do not wait. I wish you well, sending love & peace. Sprinkle 1

[Justswimming]

Umm .,.he just got visitation back with his daughter after 1 year...1st red flag..

His daughter needs to see her father how would you like it when you where a child and daddy left to see another woman?

Divorce is hard enough..hopefully you where not involved with him when he was married because why would he respect you?

Assuming you live together and are actually engaged why wouldn't you eventually be involved with visitation?

Talk to a therapist and don't be jealous of someone's child. That is no way to be. Maybe because he hasn't been able to see her for a year he wants to spend as much time as possible to bond with her....you only get a short time as child.

Why didn't he get visitation for a year? Something is up with that..something stinks...you have to do something really bad not even to get visitation...

How long is he divorced? Your not married yet so you can still get out before its really complicated. I'm sorry you feel bad but its not the child's fault or her mothers. Is he using you at all financially?

Make plans with friends or family and don't wait around for him. If he's a good guy it will get better if not better off knowing before you tie the knot.Enjoy your life either way.

.

[Pacobusta1970]

Hello Tiffany.

I can give you my point of view as a man that I am, you should think about it very well before taking your next step

I think you should have learned from your last relationship I think that if he behaves like that with you now when you marry him your life will be even worse. I think that you should also go to the meetings he has with his daughter because you are already part of his life.I also have a daughter who lives with me and I have custody and I know how those visits are but in your situation it seems to me that something is not right.

Take care and good luck