Feeling Frustrated

[4myMomAVB]

I hate sharing my feelings as i have always felt like they have been invalidated. Right now I need to vent though and I know bottling only leads to a blow up for me. I had to undergo an IME for disability and the psychiatrist told me i dont need meds because my problems are my fault. Basically told me I am a failure, which confirms my feelings about myself. She told me I need to get married to feel better about myself because that was part of my insecurities. My illness is my fault according to her and going back to work will fix it all. I just need to quit caring for my mother and son. My mother has dementia and my son has autism. My bad.

[Hidden]

That's ridiculous. What kind of heath care professional does that? A Psychiatrist that tells you that should be terminated.

[4myMomAVB in reply to Hidden]

Thats how I feel right now. I know its not all about what the mental health industry can do for me but i know i am struggling. I wish i could just tell myself to quit thinking or feeling things but thus far have not been successful in willing it away. Counselling and meds are not working so therefore it must be me.

[Hidden in reply to 4myMomAVB]

Is there an option for you to do some cognitive behavioural therapy?

[fretless in reply to Hidden]

exactly, Cognitive will really help.

[TruthSi72]

Wow. That is one of the worst things I’ve heard. These people are meant to care!?!?

I guess we all have our bad days! People only deal with things in the best way they know how at the time.

@4myMomAVB you’re a heroine in my eyes. You are an inspiration.

I think it sounds like the challenge you’re having is that you have put your life on hold to look after these two people that you love so much and don’t want to see suffer and in turn the energy that you’re putting into caring is taking its toll on your overall health and is making you suffer? (Please tell me if I have it wrong)

I have never been in this position so I don’t want to assume I know the answer because that would be condescending except for what I think you already know: you must find a way to look after your own life and health as much as you care for your mother and son. You have so much strength but if you do not give some of that strength to yourself you may end up unable to give the care that your mother and son needs.

I have read some of your other posts and I can see you have been through a lot recently and I’m sorry for this.

I know you’ve heard it before but you must look after yourself, I don’t mean eating well etc but I mean you need to have a functioning personal life outside of your mother and son. Do whatever it takes, you must or surely you and your family will suffer?!

You’re strong enough to do this.

What do you think you could do to start this process for yourself?

S

[Markyt in reply to TruthSi72]

I agree with everything in your reply. Take heart 4myMom, you are not at fault from what you've posted. Getting married made my life worse not better because I thought it was the answer to all my problems. The job I took because it was what I thought everyone expected me to do made me seriously unwell. You have all that other stuff on top of dealing with your own issues, I don't know how you manage, I would've fallen apart long ago (and did actually). I can't anything more insightful than Truth has done except for to say I wish you the strength and courage to be able to tackle the things you need to for YOuRSELF

Bless you. Mark

[shrs3]

Omg im sorry she is saying those things! Definitly stop seeing her and find someone else. This isnt your fault!

[20Voices]

These things do happen. I would ask for a second opinion and report the person you saw.

I had a psychiatrist tell me to just smile and that would help. The psychiatrist I saw was not native to the UK so I guess what she was trying to tell me was lost in translation, but I have also experienced similar issues with UK born professionals. They really should spend more time making sure that medical staff are aware of how important communication is and getting their phrasing right so that they don't upset people and make their conditions worse.

Please ask to see someone else.

Take care.

[4myMomAVB in reply to 20Voices]

That is very helpful. Thank you.

[fretless in reply to 20Voices]

Please see a psychologist and not a psychatric , i think you need to give behavioural therapy a try

[4myMomAVB]

Its really hard to reply on the mobile app if you have anything very long to say. Please look at this problem admin. Thanks

[Sprinkle1]

I think that is a poor psychiatrist, and would be looking for another one. She had no business talking to you in that manner. I would report her to the medical board. Please, please find someone who is caring and trustworthy. I send you Love, and Peace and strength to battle on.Sprinkle 1

[4myMomAVB in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you. I have made a complaint.

[gogogirl in reply to 4myMomAVB]

Good for you- also I hope you find some time to take care of yourself. You are amazing. Perhaps you triggered some feelings of inadequacy in that shrink She/he does not deserve to have that job. I also hope you can find a supportive group of friends or even a women's group just so you have some time to yourself. I am sure this is easier said than done. You have feelings also.

[gogogirl]

I recently fired a "shrink" for having a temper tantrum. I hope you report this person to the med board. This is unacceptable.