Feeling lost

[Hazzy81]

I'm matt and I'm 36 I have suffered on and off with depression since I lost my amazing loving caring nan 10 years ago but it was manageable now I have lost control over the black dog and it has taken full hold of me it never goes away I cry almost daily and have no motivation the only things that keep me here are my partner and our 3 amazing boys who I live my life for I'm on 30 mg venlafaxine per day and it doesn't change how sad I feel and how lost I feel in any way my anxiety is through the roof it has to get easier soon cos I'm not so strong any more

[Hazzy81]

325mg sorry not 30 typo

[Hidden]

Hello matt and welcome to our supportive and friendly Community.

I am sorry to hear that you are really struggling with depression and anxiety. Your nan was clearly very important to you and her passing ten years ago continues to affect you.

Please make an urgent appointment to see your GP to talk about how you are feeling. Your GP will be able to help you and arrange any extra support you may need.

Keep focusing on your partner and your three boys. Do keep in touch matt and let us know how your appointment with your GP goes. We are here to 'listen' and support you in any way we can. Take care,

Lottie

[-smrt-]

Hi Matt. I'd also encourage you to make an appointment with your doctor. Some medicines and therapies just don't seem to work so well for certain people, but there is quite a range available so don't lose hope!

I was on one drug for a long time before I saw a doctor again to prescribe me something else which works a lot better. It doesn't fix everything but it allows you to think without such a cloud of negativity around you, so I hope you can find some treatment that makes things better.

[Maxi2012]

Hi, Matt

Ah, those black dog days that Churchill also suffered from. Everyone on this forum knows that particular breed of dog all too well.

First off, I am not medically trained in any ways. BUT I have suffered from depression, on and off, all of my life since the age of 11.

I had what can only be described as a full breakdown in work on Tuesday 22/07/2014 at about 8 in the AM (yep, I remember the exact date, and nearly the exact time, so horrible was it!) after months of trying (yet again over the last 40 odd years!) to get that black dog to stop biting. But that final time, he wouldn't let go, and he was hungry!

I was put on medication which, within 48 hours, I knew were wrong for me. Made me feel EVEN worse. I think it was called Sertraline. Went straight back to the doctor and was put on Citalopram 40mg, which I am still on to this day. It changed my life, although it was not overnight, no anti depressant works that quickly. For me it took about two months before it gradually dawned on me that those terrible feelings had lifted. Sure, for me they never go away entirely, always on the periphery, but now I can usually ignore them. And even on bad days, I know that such days are not going to join hands, but rather they remain blips in a normal life.

Sorry to waffle on, but two things to note here. You must ensure that you get the right meds for you, and what suits one person may not suit another. As an example, I'm sure that Sertraline has helped many people; they just weren't right for me. And vice versa with Citalopram.

And the second thing? If you know your meds don't work for you, then you go back to your doctor and bang on the door, if necessary, but don't let them fob you off. When I went back to the doctor, actually a very bored looking locum and not my own doctor, he tried to tell me to just keep taking the Sertaline and give it a chance. But I knew it was wrong, and didnt take no for an answer. And if you don't, at the moment, feel up to telling the doctor the same thing, ask your partner, or somebody else in your life, to go along with you. Or, if that's not possible for any reason, then feel free to print out my message to your and show that to your doctor!

But, and this is by far most likely, you may well speak to your doctor and find that he/she is entirely supportive of you and will work with you to find an alternative med. I really do think my expereince with the locum I saw was just a one off; most doctors are now EXTREMELY clued up about depression and are very happy to help.

Cheers, Matt!

Max