i need help

[i-am-so-alone]

my name is Ross, im 16 and i suffer from depression, anxiety and showing systems of bipolar. my mum has what i have and its making her worse seeing me like this. i don't know if i can continue this fight to survive anymore. i hear voices in my head telling me to give up and to stop trying, im starting to listen to them

[Hidden]

I just wanted you to know that I care, and that I'm sending you love and light (probably from halfway across the world). Although I'm not a doctor, I'd like to share my personal experience with you. First of all know that I've been in a similar place - depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Half the time it felt as though I was dying. In my case, what helped me more than anything else was love and compassion (which can take many forms - good friends, family, self-love...). The way you see your mum, and not wanting to see her suffer, is an expression of your love. The way she sees you, and reacts to that is also an expression of love. Neither of you want to see the other suffer. What would it be like if you could help each other by sharing? What would it be like to express caring love instead of "worry-based love"?

Another thing I came to realise is that the voices in my head were often parts of me that were feeling hurt, and that they were expressing themselves from a place of hurt & pain, often in a way those parts of me thought were helpful (by drawing our attention inward and giving us the chance to love ourselves more fully). And so I learned to accept them, send them love (even when it sometimes felt like it wasn't sincere), and feel compassion for their suffering. I started to embrace all of me, not just the parts I "liked", but everything. This helped me tremendously, not only improving the relationship I have with myself, but also with others. The same principles apply in our relationship with our inner-self as they do for relationships with other people. Connect and build on one, and the other also improves. Love one, and your capacity to love the other grows too.

I hope this makes sense or that you can connect with these words in a way that's helpful to you.

Sending you (all of you) love, light, and a tremendous hug.