This is me I've accepted it why can't... - Above & Beyond - ...

Above & Beyond - Mental Health

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This is me I've accepted it why can't you.

Itssofluffy profile image
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I have suffered depression since i was about 8 years old after i was sexually abused as a child. I spent the rest of my school years having councelling and now at 28 have finally learnt to deal with what happened to me and the horrible childhood i had.

I spent my teen years locked in my room crying and wishing i was dead. Believing the world would be better off with out me.

I take anti-depressants now after years of refusing them. My depression is mostly under control but everyonce in a while i get really down and do find myself thinking of ways to "get rid of myself"

I become very low and angry and my partner who i have been with for 12 years finds it hard to understand why i go through this. He knows all about my past but still doesn't understand why sometimes i lay on the bed and cry myself to sleep, why i sit in silence and hide away from the world not wanting to see or speak to anyone including him.

I have tried to explain myself but he doesn't understand and when ever i talk to others they seem to switch it onto their problems.

I have accepted my life as it is but looks like I'm the only one who can!

Does anyone else have this problem? If so how do you get through to them?

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Itssofluffy
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elaineanne1 profile image
elaineanne1

Hello

I am a carer for a suffer of depression so I know some of what you are going though, no one can totally understand your depression so have patience with them. My husband has suffered for at least the last ten years but he just gives up which is the worse thing you can do. Do you have an understanding friend who you could talk to and maybe see things from another perspective.

Gambit62 profile image
Gambit62

I think there is a huge difference between accepting and understanding.

There are a lot of people I don't feel I can talk to about what being depressed is like - they see the pain and want to take it away and that just makes it worse. My boyfriend really doesn't understand and that can cause huge tensions at time. Most of my family - especially my mother - it really is a no-go area.

I've tried telling my boyfriend that it isn't a question of understanding - and I don't want him to understand because that would mean he was experiencing it and I really don't wish that on any one - but I just want him to accept it (and not try to take away the pain) but it just doesn't happen and I think I've got to the point where I can accept that now.

I have a brilliant colleague at work who has a depressive husband and knows she doesn't understand but she does listen and she does accept so there are people out there that can do it.

I have other friends who accept and they are the ones that really help - not the ones that want to understand.

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