I always dreamed of being a mom and now I c... - Women's Health

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I always dreamed of being a mom and now I can't

maedalineharbor profile image

I always knew in life that I wanted to be a mother even from a young age I dreamed about meeting the man of my dreams and having a beautiful daughter but sadly this past week I have learned that dream will never come true. I won't go into reasons why I am infertile as that is very personal. I now feel so lost and hopeless. I am not sure what to do I guess I am just out here asking for advice and support.

4 Replies

I’m really sorry to hear that, it must be an awful shock for you. Perhaps when the shock recedes you may be able to think about becoming a mum in some other way.As hard as it is to come to terms with not being able to carry a baby of your own, there are other ways of fulfilling your dream to become a mother, surrogacy, adoption etc, carrying a baby is just one tiny part of it, being a mother to a child lasts a lifetime, no matter how you became a mother.

Best wishes xxx

Please dont let everything get you down. There may be options for you yet. If you cant have a biological child you can still be a mum by adopting a chosen child. Theres always compromises in life. However you feel now you will find a way through it all. Best wishes to you.

Hi, I am currently working through the possibility of never being a mother. I think you need to grieve for what you might have had.

I recommend talking to NHS Talking Therapies. They really helped me. I also read a book called 'Living a Life Unexpected' by Jody Day which really helped me. Its a book specifically written for people who wanted / expected to have children but for whatever reason are unable to have them.

Do you have people you can confide in? You will need support in the coming months as its tough, but there is a life out there without children and I am slowly realising that xx

I'm so very sorry that this has happened to you and it very important that you take the time to grieve and get the right support to come to terms with the situation. I hope you have the right people in your life who will help you move forward and find new purpose for your future.

Adoption or using a suragate are options open to you. From my admittedly limited experience this doesn't make a child any less yours. I have 2 boys born to me and a girl who came in to my life as a teenager when I met my husband and she's as much mine as my boys. It genuinely feels exactly the same way. I worried it wouldn't but it does. Also my sister-in-law used a suragate and she says her baby feels hers.

Carrying a child doesn't make it yours, loving it does and I get the feeling you have the strength and the heart to do that. X

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