Women's Health
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Pain during/after sexual intercourse

I am a 17 year old female and I have been experiencing pain during intercourse for a little over a year now with my partner. I have had swabs and physical examinations and everything has come back fine, I’ve had ultrasounds and I’m booked in for another on the 25th June as they still don’t know the cause and I have been visiting the doctors about this problem for a few months now. The pain is centred on the bottom wall if a finger is inserted it is fine but if pressure is applied downwards (onto the wall) it hurts and no other wall is affected but it is only the inner opening that is affected it is not a deep pain. However, when my partner enters it feels as if everything hurts and not just the bottom wall. It is a burning feeling but I have tried lubricants (many including ky jelly) and a lot of foreplay but I don’t believe dryness is the problem as I can feel the pain when I enter a finger and apply pressure. After I have successfully had intercourse the pain can last for a long time after so I usually sleep (just to add when I put a finger in to the pain site - bottom wall - and remove the finger I feel pain afterwards but not as bad as it is when I have intercourse and the pain after) and when I wake up it is gone and every time I urinate after intercourse it burns just like intercourses but urination any other time does not hurt. Does anyone have any idea about this? I feel so alone on this aspect as whenever I have searched no one has talked about pain like this.

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Hi, I don’t think I can give any good advice except to say you are doing the right thing getting your gp to investigate. So many women, me included, are too embarrassed to seek help for these issues so I think you are very brave standing up for yourself and trying to find a solution. All I can say is keep trying, don’t let them say they can’t find anything wrong when you know there IS something wrong. No one knows your body better than you. I did read something about some women having low pain receptors that causes sex to hurt called vulvodynia, but may not be that. Good luck with it all, hope you get it sorted soon.

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It took me a few months to push myself to do it, when I first mentioned it I started shaking I was so scared and now I just talk about it freely to them. It always seems worse before anything is said. Thank you I am really glad I brought myself to do it!

Also thank you for saying that about there is something wrong! So many times I’ve heard psychological pain and no one believes me so I hope these tests will prove something. I don’t think I mentioned that it never used to hurt it just came on randomly one day and it got worse from then and hasn’t gone away. Thank you for your kind words you really have helped me mentally about the situation! <3

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You’re welcome, its crap when you don’t get an answer. Someone may turn up that knows what you’re going through, but you really have got to demand an answer. It’s the worst feeling being fobbed off when it feels like it’s ruining your life. Persevere and hopefully you’ll find a doctor that can wrk out what it is. The worst thing about painful sex is that it will end up putting you in a frame of mind that it’s not worth doing cos it will end up being painful. Make sure you tell someone about not being painful from the start, maybe write a list of things to ask/tell them. Hope you sort it soon.

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I hope I come across someone who knows at the hospital when I get the scan, I’m hoping they’ll keep me in for a while and that they find something. Yes, I agree. I’m completely disinterested in any sexual activity now so I know that’s not nice for my partner but it’s got to the point where I don’t even like him touching me in the area even if nothing sexual is happening about it. It’s been having a deeper effect on me now and that’s why I’m desperate for answers. Thank you for the tips! I hope so too :)

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Have you ruled out Endometriosis? That can be very painful with sex. It requires a lap surgery to diagnose

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I’ll update on how the scan goes and I’ll mention it to them then to see if it’s a possibility :) x

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Hi Please have a read through this link I think your find it interesting to your problem.

mayoclinic.org/diseases-con...

NOWHARD

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Thank you will do it now! :)

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SO did you read through it, do you think its you, did any of it ring bells.

Look if you have found nothing yet? go to dodsonandross.com join and put your case to Dr Betty Dodson see if she can put a finger on what's your problem, she's a great lady and has a good knowledge of sexual problems.

They say about seeing your doctor, but you really do need to find the right doctor, one who will understand your problems a bit deeper than you local MD can go.

NOWHARD

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Yes I did read through it and the symptoms were very right with mine so I showed my boyfriend and he agreed. I still haven’t found anything yet but I will definitely explain the case to Dr Betty Dodson. Thank you for letting me know about it, I’ll tell you her reply when I get one! :)

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I have been undergoing investigation for something very similar on & off for the last 5 years....

My pains in different areas to you by the sound of it, I have been fobbed off by various drs, & I have just managed to get referred to gynaecology for a 2nd time, so I start again with the tests & ultrasounds.

Previously I’ve been advised to use lots of lube, & vaginal stretchers (these subdued the pain after a few months of use, but once you stop I found the pain returns)

I am 28 this year & had a very active sex life during my teens/early twenties with a a matching interest in it...these days like you I’d honestly rather read a book...then engage in bedroom play.

The problem started 3 months into my relationship with my now husband, & seemed to coincide with a car accident we had...but possibly unrelated.

Still searching for answers

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Let’s hope we both get some answers out of this. Recently they have been saying the pain could be caused by my bowels but I’ve been taking treatments for multiple things to do with that and nothing has worked. I’m not sexually active anymore I don’t really find an interest if I can’t do it with any enjoyment so I’m having a long break until any breakthrough happens that could hopefully help. I’ll update you on what they tell me and hopefully if they find anything out of the ordinary I’ll let you know in case it helps you and we can both have answers :)

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I was fobbed off with it being ibs related (currently taking tablets for that but not seen any improvement in the bedroom since I started them) other doctors have said to build the sexual interest you actually have to engage in sex...so I go along with my other half as advances 2-3 times a week & then have some alone time in a hot bubble bath after...can’t say it’s raised my interest at all...I read quite steamy books which I can only dream of re-enacting.

I now get quiet anxious about it & tense up with obviously doesn’t help so looking into tension releasing methods to see if that helps at all....

Good luck & keep me posted 😊

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I only stopped as I had sex with my partner nearly daily and there was no improvement and I was left going in the bath after in pain for long periods of time so I didn’t want to put myself through that. The hot bath helps me a little after but it doesn’t make the pain go away it just fades gradually after. I sometimes hear sexual experiences or my partner talks about it a lot because he thinks it helps me but it just makes me sad now so I don’t even like talking about it I too can only imagine. I’ll definitely look into that, thank you :)

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With out being to rude, are you able to get any enjoyment from ‘self play’ for example just using a ‘bullet’ (this was the way we went for period of time in the early days, these days I’m to tense to reach a climax...which is why I’m thinking maybe I need to release some anxiety tension)

Not many people understand how difficult it is to be in our shoes because they don’t believe it’s not ‘all in your head’ but the more it’s discussed & put out there the less of a taboo subject it becomes...which means we’re more likely to get answers 🤞🏻

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We actually tried that for a while too but I turned out getting bored of it so I just kinda stopped that too. I do really get in the mood sometimes and I completely forget about the pain and then as soon as I feel the pain I don’t go through with it. It’s even brought me to tears. A family member of mine told me if I did it as much as I did it couldn’t hurt as bad as I said and that really hit me because she isn’t in the position to know what it feels like. I kept doing it hoping it would go away and it just never left. I think it would be a good idea to keep searching ways to relieve anxiety in that form and to see if it works even a little but so far I’m not one percent convinced that it’s psychological.

Yes that is the problem not many people understand, it is also so hard to explain. As I’ve discussed this today it is the first anyone has ever spoke to me about it and actually related, other people just say “that’s too bad” or “I’m glad I don’t have that” and that’s what makes me feel worse about it but speaking to you has really helped so thank you!

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