ANo motivation

[Pink61]

I am 61 just took early retirement I did lose 6st but I am quickly putting it back on just absolutely hate the way I look need some one to motivate me could do with a walking buddy or fitness buddy 😢

[TheTabbyCat Administrator 10 kg]

Hi Pink61 and welcome to this amazing forum. I suggest you spend some time clicking about to find your way around. It's easier if you have a lap-top as there are several threads. If you’re using another device I strongly suggest that you use the web page as opposed to the app at least until you know your way around. Have a good read of the pinned post “Welcome Newbies” and follow every thread.

Here’s the link to the pinned posts,

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Here’s the link for the “Tour” of the forum. If you haven’t already taken it.

healthunlocked.com/?tour=true

I strongly suggest you read and contribute to the Daily Diary and participate in a Weekly Weigh in.

You will find there's loads of tips about better eating, from other members. Sharing your daily menu not only helps you stay committed, it can help other members too.

A lot of our members have successfully participated in C25K

healthunlocked.com/couchto5k

We have a "Fit Is Fun Page" where you could buddy up.

healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

Good luck I hope to "see " you around.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

Motivation means the reason we do something, so it has to come from within, not from other people. How about taking a few minutes to think about the reasons you want to lose weight: then write them down and keep them somewhere visible, as a reminder to yourself when things aren't going smoothly.

You've had a fantastic loss. Are you going to follow the same plan or are you looking for something different? This is a straightforward plan that won't leave you feeling hungry phcuk.org/wp-content/upload...

If you follow the link Tabby has given you to Pinned Posts and join in with activities, you'll soon feel part of the community and you'll find many buddies

[MMP1]

I feel for you. However, I don't think any of us really do it totally on our own. Whether it is support from a group, friends, family, we all need something or someone. At the moment, I have my fitbit, the gym and a walking buddy.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to MMP1]

Hello and welcome back, MMP1

I hope you'll take advantage of the support and encouragement to be found on the forum. I see you used to be a member of the Sunday weigh in team when you were last here: there's time to join in there before 9 this evening: host Misswizzes will make you welcome.

You'll find the weigh in, daily diary and all other forum activities by following this link healthunlocked.com/weight-l... to Pinned Posts. Have a good look through all those posts as there may be other activities that would be useful to you.

Best wishes with your weight loss journey

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

I think you'll find this post encouraging healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

[BerlinBetty Visitor]

Good Morning Pink61 and welcome to this wonderful forum. Your words resonated with me, as they will with others who have retired and face a new life. Note I don't automatically use a jolly adjective to go with that word 'life'. So many colleagues and friends automatically slot in 'exciting, wonderful, restful, free, opportunistic...'. They mean well but for many of us, retirement is a heck of a thump in the back. I retired rather late from a career I loved and which was addictive, but it also took me by the neck and ran my batteries down to nothing on a regular basis. Getting off that merry-go-round is a blessing, but it can also be a curse if we let it be.

Perhaps your job was like mine, preoccupying most of your life, so that what wasn't work was time clutched to try to relax, or get jobs down round the home, or see friends, or go on holiday. That Other Time seemed like a Grand Premonition of what retirement was going to be all about: lots and lots of free time to do what you want to do, most of the time, like a permanent holiday.

But when we retire, we lose colleagues, workplace, and even the habit of commuting, which most of us find tedious. All gone. And we are left to our own resources. It's a huge, seismic shift in our lives and unless we are looking out for someone else in a big way, the only boss and discipliner in our lives, is us.

So, your motivation to get back on your chosen track of good diet and exercise is All Yours. Mmm. Mixed blessing, isn't it?

I suppose my motivation is now less about beauty (I used to be vain) and more about health. Please ask yourself what kind of future you want out of this Vast Open Plain called Retirement. What condition would you be in, in 10 years, if you over-eat now and don't take enough exercise? On the other hand, what could you be capable of, if you look after yourself, not because you need to work but because YOU demand an excellent quality of life over the next 10 years and you have ambitions: to turn the garden around, join a rambling club, go on that challenging trip abroad, learn to play the trombone, take a course online, organise a new charity...

You name it. Whatever you'd really like to do, getting back on track is crucial to your success. We've most of us been there, Pink, promise: lost weight and looked and felt great, then back it all crept and you're down that snake on the board and wondering whether you can face another ladder.

We most of us fear death at the end of life, but we should also fear being too unwell or too unfit to enjoy life. We can't control disease that descends on us, or debilitating conditions which might develop, but we can make decisions to keep ourselves as well as possible, for our own sakes. It's the most selfish and the least selfish of motivations, because it looks after others around us too. I don't want my dear daughters running round after me later on in life because I didn't look after myself now.

You say you've just taken early retirement. Whatever dutiful commitments you have, please shape them round whatever it is you really want to do in life, and go for it. Your health and fitness is a passport to that new life, Darling. Grab it with both hands because you can't travel through life without it.

love and good luck, Betty xx

[Pink61 in reply to BerlinBetty]

Wow what a lovely essay you have made me really think about what I want from the rest of my life, yes I want to be healthy happy with myself and no I do not want my family wasting their precious life looking after me.I want to say a massive thank you for putting things into perspective for me .

Hope we can keep in touch take care ❤❤❤❤❤

[BerlinBetty Visitor in reply to Pink61]

Would be very pleased to hear about your progress, as you travel through your new life. BB x

[PandQs Maintainer 3st 7lbs in reply to BerlinBetty]

Hi Betty, I agree with everything you have said, and would add one more thing - loss of identify especially for those whose work, career, has been the main focus of their life. I was lucky in that respect in that I gave up the career I trained for when I had children as I didn't want the travelling and overnight stays that it involved. I took a much lower paid part time job then, which was never part of my "identity". I worked at university and had a conversation about this with one of the Professors, who dreaded retirement. If during your working life, when you meet people, and are frequently asked "and what do you do?" it can be a huge shock to one day say "I'm a bank manager" and the next day say "I'm retired". People who this is important to, generally qualify their retirement with "I used to be..." to retain that identity for longer. xx

[BerlinBetty Visitor in reply to PandQs]

I couldn't agree more, PandQs. I was a teacher and performer, also a writer on demand. Suddenly to be none of these things was tough as heck. At least academics can carry on writing and expanding their reading but it's their teaching as performance that is lost, and that's an adrenaline ride not easily replaced.Most of us whinge from time to time about our work, however much we love it but the loss of identity is tough and needs working at, as does a healthy way of life when one no longer has to fit into that smart suit and the World of Elastic can reign unabated.

Psychologists are fond of talking about moving house, bereavement and divorce as major stressful challenges in life, and of course they are. Not enough has been written, however, about the challenges of retirement. Of course many wonderful things can come out of this final active stage of our lives, but society should recognise that getting the balance right regarding health and happiness, a change in finances for many of us, downsizing homes and adjusting to dear spouses and partners with us ALL the time (😜) - these are big shifts. It can take to a while to adjust.

I look forward to hearing from others on this subject: there are a lot of us making that new journey.

BB x

[PandQs Maintainer 3st 7lbs in reply to BerlinBetty]

As my friend put it: "twice the husband on half the money"🤣

[BerlinBetty Visitor in reply to PandQs]

😬

[Maxy6 6kg in reply to BerlinBetty]

I have also recently retired. I have been a nurse and a nurse practitioner for most of my life. Psychologically, it has been very hard for me to retire, so I have been picking up little jobs like doing Covid vaccinations to make me feel needed. I had so many things I wanted to do when I retired but Covid has curtailed all of that.

[Maxy6 6kg in reply to BerlinBetty]

Very well said, BerlinBetty!

[TTandRW in reply to BerlinBetty]

Wow what a reply this also put things into perspective for myself I’m 62, work part time and look after family etc and am just thinking about retirement, I’m the same with motivation, exercise and weight loss I’ve lost it and now regained it and really struggling to restart and I am also having struggles due to poor health and fitness which I know will only get worse if I don’t change.

[Pink61 in reply to TTandRW]

I am slowly making small changes to my life style thanks to Berlin Betty her lovely reply to my first post was inspiring and as made me think about my priorities to myself , you just need to do small steps each day Knight06 and start loving yourself xxxx

[BerlinBetty Visitor in reply to TTandRW]

I so relate to these struggles. Totally sympathise. Please see Betty's attempt tonight to think it through. BB x

[Buttonmoon1]

Hi Pink What an inspirational post. As a recently retired person just what I needed to read ! Thanks

[PandQs Maintainer 3st 7lbs]

Now you're retired, have a look to see if your local U3A (interest groups for retired people) has a walking group. Since taking early retirement I've made many new friends and learned new skills by joining U3A.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to PandQs]

Same here